The Twentieth Republic - all back and its time to bubble bubble ...

[StaffAssociationRepresentative]

You are most welcome to this school staff support thread to get us through stressful times. It is meant for school staff only – a sort of room of requirement. Baiters, haters, goaders and bashers can jog on somewhere else.

If you are NOT staff and just have a general education query please start your own thread.

You can play here if you are a member of one the following groups-

-ABBA - anti bashers and baiting association
-SWAB - school workers against bashers
-SWOT - school workers opposing teacherbashers
-STARS - schoolworkers together against ranting + slurs

Do not give ‘The Every twat for Themselves mob’ the staffroom password as a number of them are operating in an alternative reality.

No DfE muppets allowed

Other requirements for staff room entry include the ability to find the staff room, the ability to find a clean mug in the staff room, knowledge of the photocopier codes, and the ability to sniff out where the toffee vodka is hidden.

If you are fed up with cakes and biscuits there is now a cheeseboard on offer

If you come with a stick to goad us then that is not allowed in the staffroom, especially if you have not used the hand gel. Close the door quietly on your way out and put your mask on.

I’m a disorganised single parent who allegedly lives below the poverty line and is probably 50% alcoholic and EVEN I can put a pencil case together.

@CallmeAngelina

Wait, what???"!! You've signed a Risk Assessment? I've not even seen one.

I learned today that although our governors signed off the RA they didn’t actually read it - the chair “might have looked at it all” apparently.

It doesn’t matter though, because hardly any of the staff have read it either (apart from awkward sods like me) and no one is doing what it says anyway.

I am apparently the only member of teaching staff in my school to have read our risk assessment, according to our site manager.

I had to sign that I've read it, but there is so much to remember that is different. I keep fucking up and using the wrong stairsvor door or whatever. Just too tired to think tonight.. gin, pizza, icecream. Standard Friday night vice night efforts.

I've been given a TA for some morning slots. A brilliant HLTA too... nearly kissed the deputy.

@DollyMixtureLulus

My main gripe is they've closed the staffroom and turned off all the water taps

That is dreadful!

Yes I had a tough first day when I'd finished my water bottle by 10 and had no more access to liquid till I left at 4!!! They are a new leadership who are actually very caring, but I feel like they've taken Covid so seriously they've forgotten we need things like drinking water...

Yep noblegiraffe. The classic 'pair and share' not allowed. I'm going to try and train them to discuss things without looking at each other!

@ohthegoats

I've been given a TA for some morning slots. A brilliant HLTA too... nearly kissed the deputy.

But social distancing!

What is this social distancing you speak of?

DS says the one way system is like something from Alice Through The Looking Glass. Wherever you need to be is at the other side of a very small door, or a hedge, or a Hookah-smoking caterpillar

Can I ask about staff symptoms - we've had an NHS letter emailed that basically says they are only interested in the 3 main symptoms. Normal rules apply for everything else... So I'm assuming we have to dose up and struggle in for sore throats and snottiness as per any other year?

Well, I also cried this morning all over dd, who had got up early to go to the gym but ended up consoling me with coffee. Talk about role reversal! (She is 22, though, so can cope! And she's an absolute sweetheart)
And then I put 2 and 2 together and saw why I'm being so pathetic at the moment. School (and all the inconsistencies and risks and blatant disregard of rules other schools seem to have set in stone), obviously, but it's the first anniversary of my darling old dad's death on Sunday. I can't even think of him without curling up inside.

@noblegiraffe

students unable even to turn to look at their neighbour....

Really?! My school seems to have gone "the kids are in bubbles, we're going to keep them away from other year groups, but within their bubble it's business as usual (+ hand sanitiser)." So we can have a set of textbooks that can move around classrooms in the same bubble, kids can share a class set of glue sticks/calculators etc.

Similar here.

And then I came home to a massive bouquet of flowers from dh, which made me cry again.

I feel really bad for year 7. It's just so overwhelming. I had two boys cry this afternoon - one really sobbing because he felt unwell and another because he couldn't write a paragraph for me. I know they'll have to toughen up but these are such full on times for them.

I need to go and cross stitch some bad words. We were supposed to be camping this weekend but I just can't face it. Gin and sewing it is then!

Friend at work timed 54 minutes of yesterday spent in hand-washing (for the kids - out of lesson-time).

Mine was slightly less, because I squirted hand gel at them as they came through the door at one point, instead of all the endless lines at the sinks and then water all over the floor ( had to teach them to shake over the basin, ffs!! And push their sleeves up before running them under the tap!)

I did a bad thing today. My colleague's son died in lockdown (not connected) and I gave her a huge hug (with her permission). It was the only bit of my day which felt good.

@CallmeAngelina

And then I came home to a massive bouquet of flowers from dh, which made me cry again.

Extremely well deserved and I’m glad you have a supportive DH. from me too.

@MrsHamlet

I did a bad thing today. My colleague's son died in lockdown (not connected) and I gave her a huge hug (with her permission). It was the only bit of my day which felt good.

Heartbreaking and wonderful at the same time. So sorry to read this. You sound like a great colleague

@ohthegoats

What is this social distancing you speak of?

God only knows.

Talking of which I just had this email from the DfE telling me how to get laptops for children unable to attend school due to Covid,

I appear to have a horse some miles away, can anybody bolt the stable door for me please?

https://www.gov.uk/guidance/get-laptops-and-tablets-for-children-who-cannot-attend-school-due-to-coronavirus-covid-19?utmsource=b49bbd9e-24e0-46c8-b282-13f4ebef7b06&utmmmedium=email&utmcampaign=govuk-notifications&utmmcontent=immediate

@MrsHamlet

I did a bad thing today. My colleague's son died in lockdown (not connected) and I gave her a huge hug (with her permission). It was the only bit of my day which felt good.

A worthwhile risk, I would say.

Thank you all, by the way - for your kind words now and last night.

Thanks, Chloe. I try to keep everyone else feeling like it is copeable with - but today felt dire. I don't want to dread going into work.

Hamlet , well done. I did the same today to our sole UKS2 TA (who is now across 4 classes!) who has had a rotten lockdown, divorce and was at the end of her tether. How can you not when you hear someone's voice go all wobbly and high pitched? We'll all be sharing the air anyway.

And Honey - only 50% alcoholic is good. I'm a glass half full myself!