Time off when your children are unwell

[Pinkyaandthebrain]

I'm hoping to retrain as a primary teacher but what do teachers do when their own children are unwell? Do you have to rely on grandparents or the child's father taking time off. I'm guessing you can't just take a carer day like I can in my current role.

Over the years I have done a mixture of: taking time off unpaid (always had Heads who have been very understanding), DH working from home and grandparents. As DGPs have got older, they have been more reluctant to help when DD is ill as they are worried about catching stuff.

When my two were smaller I used my 2 care days, unpaid leave, grandparents. Now they are teens I tend to leave them and phone regularly and just get in later and leave straight away.

Lord alone knows what the protocol is now if one gets Covid.

DH & I are both teachers... in our current schools we both get 3 paid days a year for emergency childcare type situations. However at my last school any days at all were unpaid, so this varies.

And even without pay being an issue, it’s often not easy to have a day off especially at short notice - you know you’re leaving everyone else in the lurch.

So if one of the dc are ill, we run through options in the following order:
Grandparents
Argue about which one of us can more easily stay at home. Based on meetings, who was off last time, what is cover looking like at school etc etc. We really try to share equally - sometimes we’ll do half a day each, for example, and our bosses really appreciate that.
Calpol & send them in regardless, hope for the best. (This is slightly easier for us because I work at my DC’s school...I have had one of them sleeping under my desk in the past in a really tricky situation).

I also think knowing it’s so hard for us to get time off means our DC have been toughened up early. They know they have to be really, really ill to get a day at home!

Obviously with Covid things will be different this year... I’m dreading the issues self isolation could cause this year

Oh god I'm dreading it too. DD is year 1 and I teach secondary. She gets so many coughs and colds and I DREAD phoning in to tell my school.

We do same as above really. Beg grandparents but my dad definitely won't do it because of COVID this year so grandparents are out.
Again, I argue with DH about who needs to be off.
We get 3 days paid but actually my school have been known to pay more than that. I am feeling ill with worry about how many days unpaid we might clock up this winter.

All working parents of primary children are in the same boat though.

Family care days, we're both teachers and split it equally (as you should when two parents involved)
We get up to five paid, but that could be flexible. No grandparents so no help there.

I'm surprised at the above answers tbh. I've worked in a couple of primaries and literally remember one member of staff asking for one day off to look after a sick baby and getting a really hard time. Genuinely can't think of any other time staff took time off to look after children, and they were small schools where you knew if someone was off sick and why. That's in just under a decade of teaching and, now that I think about it, is quite shocking! People rely on partners, grandparents and friends round here.

DP and I don’t have family nearby to help out so basically he will work from home (pre Covid) to look after DD unless he has a really important meeting. My DD attends my school (It’s EYFS - KS5) so if she isn’t in, school know that I might need to request time off.

When DD was 18months and had chicken pox we tag teamed for 2 weeks. DP went into work at 6.am and then came home so I could go in and teach. Then I would come back home once my lessons were over (it was when exam classes had left) and he would return to work until 7pm or later.

My school were pretty good and understood that I only had the time off if I absolutely had to. I was always paid as well it would happily have taken the time unpaid.

What friend is going to mind your sick child for you though, if they are at home they probably have their own dc to protect from the germs and if your friends work then they can't help.
Leave should be shared between both parents, all jobs should have policies for things like sickness leave, bereavement leave and emergency family care.
I can imagine some heads not advertising it widely though!

The illnesses tend to reduce as they get older, and a secondary child who isn't too sick could be left alone. It's a short term investment from employers in most cases in order to ensure your staff member can be retained.

We are both teachers (DH is part time) and our youngest has a health condition that means regular operations and he can become ill very quickly.

Both of us are fortunate to work for understanding HTs and I’ve had more than the 3 days paid every year since he was born. I really appreciate it and it has meant that I’m more loyal to the school and willing to pitch it wherever needed. I’ve always been a hard worker but things like this make a difference.

To be honest the school in general is great for things like this, the HT has young children herself and is understanding.

My school has never had any issues with us taking time off to look after ill DC. I'm shocked to find that's not normal! I'm a single mum with no family within 300 miles so don't know what I'd do if that weren't the case. It comes up as 'child' as reason for absence on the cover charts and presumably our records.

My kids don’t get ill, or they are only ill on my day off. They wouldn’t (pre-Covid) have any time off for cough/cold/headache, they know they just get on with it. We’ve not had any d&v, I’m always surprised how often some kids seem to get it. If you are ill in our house you stay in bed, no tv or computer games (adults too!) so the kids haven’t swung the lead ever either.

Its in my contract that I get 10days paid compassionate leave a year. But I always alternate days with dh so say ds is ill, I take the first day, dh takes the second day and so on. Occasionally we use grandparents when the dc seem OK but aren't allowed back (school says 48hrs after last vomiting episode, but if the dc seem fine then our parents will take them 24hrs after last vomiting so the second day). Although this year we won't be using them due to covid.

I should say I'm a TA, not a teacher, but I think our teachers have the same. Our school is very understanding towards family life

DH and I are both teachers so very difficult for either of us to take time off. In the past my Mum has sometimes come over, although she lives an hour and a half away so not ideal. She is over 70 now though so I don't like to use her. DH and I will just have to alternate time off if needed. I get one day per term paid, he gets 5 per year. Anything else will just have to be unpaid. School won't be happy but I don't see what else can happen. I foresee extra days off this year in case there is a need for Covid testing.

Minniemouse, at least if they are Covid days, they should not be counted in the same way as other days (they don't count towards normal absence) as it is a notifiable disease and you can't just pull yourself together and get on with it like you would with a cold.