Dating a Headteacher

[DellaWare]

I know this is strictly probably more of a relationship question than a staffroom question but I’ve recently started dating a lovely guy who is a secondary school headteacher. I also work in education (not in the same place) and used to be a secondary teacher myself so know how insane the profession can be workload wise. However, it’s proving really hard for us to make time to be together and I’m just looking for advice or any experience from people who might have been in the same situation as to how feasible it actually is to build and maintain a romantic relationship with someone who works incessantly long hours. I’m also a lone parent (bereaved so have no ex to have my child at weekends)

I guess what I’m asking is, what’s reasonable to expect in terms of how often we see one another given our respective work / life challenges? He’s a thoroughly decent guy and I know he’s keen on me and sees a future for us together (has said so) but at the moment our contact is quite limited and whilst I don’t want to be needy I’m struggling with it a bit.

Just remember that since March nothing has been 'normal'. His insane long hours will have been even worse due to trying to implement the government guidelines.

How long have you been together?

The summer holidays should give you more time. He will obviously still be working but not quite so much. Expect September to be a write off as no one knows what will happen!

I'd talk to him about it and see if you can agree some 'rules'.

I agree that at the moment, the hours will be even more crazy than normal due to the current situation. September is likely to be crazy as well unfortunately.

I would see if you can plan some time together over the Summer holidays. His workload may be a bit less intense then.

In all honesty, at least for a while, you may have to accept that his working hours will be crazy.

I'm middle leadership rather than senior and even that's madness at the moment.

I have Friday and Saturday evenings with no work.
I work to some degree on every other evening.
I have to plan to have an evening off a week (usually get one).
I don't want to come back from weekends away really late on Sunday night.

Has been the same since when I was a DH, even though now I'm just a phase lead.

Thanks all that’s really helpful, and reassuring. We’ve not been together long (only a few ‘proper’ dates pre lockdown and a few socially distanced dates during) although we have known one another professionally for a while and it’s a long time since I last dated so with that, Covid and the general state of things at the moment I think I was just feeling a bit wobbly.

I do totally get how crazy things are in schools at mo and will try and keep this in mind when I get the wobbles again!

Can professionals meet up from this website?

Just saw this thread and wondering how Dellaware and her headteacher are getting on?