Hi, I did my primary PGCE a few years ago to have a job that fits around our family. I've been lucky enough to be a job-share. However, I'm so tired of being the one who gets the least favourable hours, the worst of the planning etc. It seems the more you stomp your feet, the more you get your own way.
I also have a nasty TA. Give her work, she bitches, don't give her work, she bitches. It's all behind backs, too (not just mine- but you have to wonder who is listening). Like one of those cyanide-soaked sugar-cube smiles. I'm constantly waiting to turn round and find a knife between my shoulder blades.
I can't go full-time. The hours are just too long. I have worked hard to qualify, be a great teacher and build a professional reputation. I absolutely love the children I teach. But the last 2 years have taken their toll and I dread work. I feel sick at the thought of it, but I feel so trapped.
I feel so sad.
Trapped by needing the holidays and the money. Trapped by guilt (about not being the best for my own family and not having my heart in my job) and trapped by worry about the damage this woman is going to my reputation (the one I've worked so hard to establish--I didn't give up so much of my family time for someone to steal it away iykwim).
Is there anything else out there for me, where I can give the best of myself, teach and support lovely little humans but avoid the over-work (10 hours in school plus work at home per day), politics, toxic colleagues and general intense pressure, whilst replacing my £20k wage and being around more for my own children?
Am I asking for the moon on a stick??
Thanks for listening.