Possible PNA but being made much worse by WRS

[Usernamesarenotmyforte]

So I’m not really sure where to start or whether this is the best place for this post. I’ve been back at work just over a year (my child is 20months and I went back quite early which didn’t help I don’t think). I love teaching, not all the power plays but the actual teaching etc I love, but I feel like that has been completely leeched away. I had a really difficult start to being a mum, struggled with breastfeeding but that became easier and a lovely bit slightly pushy MiL probably didn’t help at the time. Sorry, I’m rambling. But my problem is two parts really, work is insanely busy. I’m part time but the emotional load is more like full time. Plus I have so many students who need help and confide in me which is seriously highlighting how much I’m neglecting my mental health. In addition to this I am starting to wonder if I have PNA. A lot of those anxiety symptoms and feelings of early guilt haven’t gone. I have intrusive thoughts almost everyday and if my child is in nursery or not with me and I see someone else with theirs I feel horribly guilty and it has reduced me to tears.

Sorry, this is a bit of a block but I’m coming to the conclusion that I really should go and see a GP. I hate the idea of the stigma (ridiculous because I’m always telling students that shouldn’t be a thing) attached to it but I’m not coping. Any advice of what to do?

There shouldn’t be any stigma and talking to a gp is a great first step. There is lots you an do to help with your anxiety and the biggest step is often saying that you need some help.

One thing that stands out in your post is you have lots of students confiding in you, does your school have good pastoral support in place that you can refer them on to? You shouldn’t have to shoulder that responsibility, much easier said than done, and you have to put your own mental health first.

Pastoral support is very fractured although management get defensive and deny it- even when those who are dedicated pastoral say the same! It’s a bit rubbish to be honest so sometimes merely passing stuff on runs the risk of letting that student down which I can’t morally do. Which means they still come and talk to me even after someone else should be responsible

Have you received any mental health training or support? If not it is a lot to take on, if you think about the last 2 years you have had a baby, returned to work, which is a huge adjustment.
You might need to step back from the emotional support of others, you need to take care of yourself first.