Teaching mum looking for reassurance...

[littlebid]

Maybe it’s just that point in the year, but I’m feeling burnt out at both ends (if that’s not mixing metaphors). I’m working full time (secondary) with 2 small children of my own and today I missed the eldest’s reception class nativity. I maybe could have swung the cover In a normal year, but we’ve had a few big Illnesses this term, plus my grandad passed away, so I’m already well out of dependency leave. Daddy and Granny were there, but still... There’s a lot of reasons I have to work full time -and quite a few I want to as well- but I seem to be surrounded by relaxed part time mums.
We’re all really tired and grumpy and I just constantly feel like I’m letting my kids down. Some days, it just feed like survival. Can someone tell me it gets better and I’ll feel different after the Christmas break?

I could have written your post. Even missing my child's nativity. Last weekend spent marking mocks and not doing any fun or Christmassy! It is hard. I'm so looking forward to 2 weeks off.

It gets better. I always joke that I alternate between being a shit mum and a shit teacher, and some days I'm both.

But honestly, you can only do as much as you can do. My kids have always understood that sometimes I have to be at school when I'd rather be with my family, just like their teachers do for them. The one good thing about being a teacher is that your kids can understand what it is you do!

Mine are older now, and very well adjusted. They know they come first, but it is often their dad that comes to things during the school day. They have the benefit of me during the holidays! And I do remind them of this, and point out how lucky they are not to have to go to childminders or playschemes like some of their friends. (Not that these things are bad, but it's lovely to be able to slow down in the holidays!)

Only 3 more days then you can have two weeks of lovely family time- try not to work over Christmas if possible, most things can wait I'm sure.

Go easy on yourself.

It’s so tough this time of year. Everything really ramps up on the parenting front with Christmas coming (nativity, endless events at school in Xmas jumpers or whatever, that fucking elf on the shelf) just at the time when we are on our knees work-wise. It’s too much. Then term finally ends, all the Christmas admin is out of the way and we get to spend a good, long, uninterrupted festive period with the DC.
For what it’s worth, I’m part time secondary and my timetable is doing my head in. I have so many odds and ends and bits of classes, including in a subject that is not my own. My colleagues are probably sick of me chasing them but all of my planning depends on where they are up to so i have to! So part time is not a utopia: it’s just bloody tough to be not a parent and a teacher at this time of year.

*to be a parent and a teacher at this time of year.

It’s a shit time of year. If you were part time there’s no guarantee that you wouldn’t be working for the Nativity anyway - I’m part time and I’ve missed loads.

Two weeks off coming up, make the most of it!

I'm a qualified teacher with 15 years' experience, now working as a ft SEN HLTA and don't miss the stress one bit!

Surviving on £9.50 ph with two kids (another on the way) is bloody hard, but my metal health is so much better.

However, I do wish working in education was more flexible in line with other jobs (although I accept this presents as a challenge). People often wrongly think that working in education fits in with kids but except for the holidays this really isn't the case at all.

My hours of work are 8.15-3.45 M-F which means I never get to do any school runs for my youngest and have very little physical contact with his primary school. Small school so no out-of-hours provision. Can never attend any events in school time either!

I do worry that people see me as a neglectful parent and this makes me feel awful. My boys know I have to work but they don't always understand just why it is so inflexible working in education is when other working parents do attend events etc.

I'm not sure about my DS school which is a small village school and I don't know if any of the staff have primary aged children but my DD's school has a 5pm showing for the EYFS Nativity and a 6pm showing for the Year 2.
They also make sure teachers whose children are in other school get cover to go to things there.
Your DCs' school could help here (and that would be helping all other working parents) as well as your own school.