Best nativity stories

[MrsZola]

On the back of the how to survive the nativity thread, I was wondering about funny stories to do with nativity performances.
I'll kick off.
My first nativity during my first teaching practice, massive punch up between the angels and Angel Gabriel over who had the best place to stand. Mary got fed up half way through and lobbed Baby Jesus into the audience.

My absolute favourite ever (sadly not mine), shepherd arrives on stage, looks into the manger and forgets lines. Looks helplessly at an adult who has no idea what he should say and whispers "Just say anything!" So the shepherd looked into the manger again and annouces loudly:
"Ooh! Doesn't he look like his father!"
😂😂😂

I'm not a teacher but DS was picked to play Joseph in Year 1. Unfortunately he had a slight speech impediment at the time and walked around 'Bethlehem' inns asking what sounded like 'Is there any womb?'

When my DDs were small (primary reception and nursery), they had parts as angels in our church nativity, held during a morning service.
It was going fine until a massive punch up broke out among the children. The minister and Sunday school teachers waded in to separate them. Over the general chaos, DD1 could be clearly heard, shouting furiously “The shepherds started it!”
The congregation, who had been manfully biting their lips and studiously avoiding eye contact, dissolved in hysterics. DD1 was cast as Herod the following year...

This is about BIL but I love it.

He arrived on stage as one of the 3 wise men. The audience did that little laugh audiences do when cute kids arrive on stage. BIL did not like this. He shouted 'stop laughing!', put up his fingers like a gun and continued 'I'll shoot you! I'll shoot you all!'

When I was in Y2 at primary, I was given the role as Villager 1. There were 3 villagers and were essentially the narrators so the same number of lines each. Villager 2 was another girl and we did not get along generally. On the last rehearsal I was given a last minute impromptu line which required me running across the stage and saying something like 'Inn keeper, Inn keeper!'. That night at the first performance, as I ran across the stage to say my 'addotional' line, this girl dramatically stuck her foot out so I tripped over and went flying off the stage - in front of all the parents! I have never seen a KS1 teacher lose her shit as much as ours did that night and I still get nervous of walking across stages in front of others!