My child is in hospital and I'm in bed sick

[Inthesickofit]

Asked HoD to set cover (one lesson), suggesting the students read independently.

Have just received an email reminding me that the policy is to set your own cover, so could I please send in an hour long task for the class to do. Not a word of sympathy. Is it me, or would you be narked too?

Which country fuzzy? I bet there's less rain too!

The deputy head sorts cover at our school if a teacher is ill/absent/on a course.
Your HofD is a lazy arse!

@CottonSock bubbling with rage is a fairly accurate description of how I'm feeling Making place for anxiety now though

That's really not OK of them.

Next time I'd contact a sympathetic department member and ask them to do it if you're not up to fighting (which it sounds like you're not) - anyone in my department would happily set lessons in this circumstance. HoD is an arsehole for not doing it.

fruitpastille, Germany. Weather seems better most of the time. :)

@michaelbaubles I asked my friend to sort out cover for one lesson. Apparently the problem was that "so many teachers are having to chase things" Anyone would think that that might be something to do with the fact that I have the worst timetable in the school and teach four different subjects If I just had a normal timetable I would only be contacting one HoD...

And they wonder why teacher retention is an issue?

Arseholes.

Apparently they're happy to help if there is a reason why I can't set my own cover
You could reply, "Sorry, did I not make it clear? The reason is that my child is in hospital and I am also very unwell myself. Hope this helps."

Spend your spare energy setting up alerts on every job site you can think of. That’s shit. Sorry your weeks been shite. ☹️

I'm back in work tomorrow. I have to raise this issue, because three days later I'm still furious about it. Thing is, I have no idea how to discuss it. I know the advice generally is to stick with the facts, but my point is it made me feel unsupported and I thought it was rather cold. If I stick with the facts, the reply will be that it was just a reminder of the fucking ridiculous policy and sorry that they didn't mention my/ child's sickness. If I say it made me feel unsupported and I found it rather unsympathetic/ upsetting, then I'm just going to sound like a snowflake, right? Ugh. Any advice welcome.

Raise it above your HOD. They were incredibly rude and unsupportive at the time so I wouldn't even give them chance to wriggle out of this.

You are right to go with the facts. Explain how they made you feel. Say that you physically struggled due to you and your child being ill. Make sure you are clear on the outcome you want. Policy change would obviously be your best outcome but this is unlikely. Would you be happy with an apology? Ask what they would expect if you were in hospital with no Internet access too. This must have happened before.

If Ofsted come and you are deep dived, the dept will be asked about wellbeing without the HOD being there. Just so you know...

Well, that was an interesting lesson in gaslighting... Short story is that I misunderstood the email and she was being supportive. Apparently I have only been taken off some duties because she argued my corner with the head, all she wanted was for me to follow school policy so the head wouldn't be fussy about this. I had sent a long email so she thought I could set a task, what I then sent was more than she wanted. She is very empathetic (seems to have forgotten it's something you have to show) and she is sorry she didn't ask about Baba in that specific email. She isn't able to always talk at great length about my child (I rarely mention him). If I knew this was likely to go on for a few days it is extra important to follow policy.

Fuck this shit, I'm so upset! The gaslighting in this place is unreal.!!! I have no idea what to do, I really want to walk out and not come back. Every time I raise an issue I'm told it's either my fault or I've misunderstood. I just don't want to work in a place where you're expected to think about work when your child is on oxygen in hospital and you're just constantly being held for a mug. I need out!

This sounds awful. No advice, but I would feel the same. Sending best wishes to you and your little one.

@leccybill We had Ofsted in Spring 2018, so I doubt they'll be in anytime soon...

I cried for 15 minutes in the staffroom after this meeting yesterday. I was in work today, but I'm not sure how much longer I can take it. Part of me is worried I'll lose my temper one of these days and tell someone higher up in the food chain what I really think (i.e. that they have a screw loose if they think they are actually being supportive). This was the second time this academic year I have complained about something that was making me unhappy in work being treated like shit and the second time I was told that I had got it wrong and they were in actual fact doing me a favour and no, they weren't going to change anything. Then wtf is the point of encouraging us to speak out, if you can't be bothered to listen, let alone act? I am starting to doubt myself, but I'm pretty sure I'm seeing things for what they are and my colleagues don't realise how shit the management are I know it's not intentional (I hope!) but it has also been implicitly made clear that they don't really need me. After this episode I feel I can't afford to miss another day off work for whatever reason. I feel threatened, surely that shows they're not supportive??? I also feel like I can't take it higher up as that will just damage my relationship with my HoD even further. Plus, she makes it out that the HT is against me and she has my back. With friends like that...