I am so unhappy it’s scaring me

[arisehollow]

I upset my HT over a year ago with a comment I made. It feels as if this fixed her opinion of me, and since then we have really struggled to move on.

I’ve been applying for jobs. I’ve actually been shortlisted for them all but both interviews have been unsuccessful. Before both interviews she told me that I was applying for roles above my capability and that I should just focus on good classroom teaching. I’ve always had really positive feedback but this year the results weren’t great. It’s knocked my confidence.

I have another interview and again have met with her and I feel like every tine I do I come out in tears, which I’m sure isn’t normal. She keeps saying it causes the school “all this” disruption and she wants to be supportive but she “really should mention the support plan” (I have been placed on an informal support plan on the back of the results.)

I am desperate to get out but if I don’t get this next job I don’t know what I’ll do, I really don’t.

Anyway, if anyone has any help, I’d be grateful.

I don’t know what to do. I’m feeling pretty desperate and rubbish. I keep thinking of alternative things I could do and I can’t think of anything.

It’s been a horrendous week.

I’m sorry you’re having such a horrible week arise

My weeks been pretty shit as well- you’re not alone

Feel for you. In a similar position in a different industry.

What level jobs are you applying for? Would you consider dropping down just to get out of there?

If not... how could you address things where you are? Is there one area of unhappiness you could address, even if it’s a minor one?

Supply for a bit an option??

Thanks - feeling a bit low here!

I can’t rely on the unreliability of supply.

Dropping down is complex insofar as the area is saturated with NQTs where I am. Plus I really want to stay at my next school for a while.

I’m not sure that you’re really in a fit mental state to be doing interviews. I don’t want to armchair diagnose you but it sounds like you’re suffering from stress in a fairly big way. TBH I’m a bit worried that you might jump at another job just to escape this dragon of a HT, rather than for the merits of the next school/role. You’re judgement can’t be tip top right now.
The best step by far is to resign and THEN look for another job, but o think you’re saying that you won’t manage financially with any kind of gap? Is that right?

• your judgement

Thing is, you’re right of course but the vast majority of the time if we were happy where we were we wouldn’t be looking! Sometimes you’ve just got to make a choice and jump, even if it isn’t ideal...