Handling an attention seeking child (Year 1)

[BG2015]

I'm a very experienced KS1 teacher. I've been teaching for 23 yrs in eyfs and KS1.

I have a child starting in my class in September who is very demanding and his behaviour is very disruptive. His parents are divorced, only child. He sees his dad for overnight stays and behaviour is always worse on the days he's seen dad. Dad always buys him a toy which he brings to school.

I've spent a number of sessions with him and his class to help with transition. He makes silly, squeaky noises on the carpet and then will look directly at the adults to get a reaction, he will spend the whole time on the carpet picking random stray toys up from under cupboards, bits of tissue or paper. He will distract, talk, annoy any child he sits by whilst on the carpet.

During assembly he again makes silly noises and if not sitting close to an adult will shuffle on his bottom until he gets to his teacher/TA. He is constantly looking side ways at his teacher to gauge her reaction. He will refuse to do any adult led work but after much encouragement will eventually be persuaded and produces good work once he sits down.

My TA has been working in EYFS for 2 afternoons a week so has observed much of his behaviour- she agrees that it is totally attention.

So, I know I need to ignore the bad behaviour and praise the good, I know I need to over praise his friends who are doing the right thing. I have firm rules on the carpet. But is there anyone who can suggest something I can read, or who has had experience of this type of behaviour? I've never quite met anyone like him before and want him to get the best out of the year (& for us to all stay sane)

Thank you in advance

Keep him near the TA when seated so he has no reason to squirm across. Give him a visually delineated space such as a carpet tile to sit on. Try a sensory cushion such as a move'n'sit to minimise squirming.

Teach him to use a "wait" card (a literal card with the word "wait" on, which is exchanged for attention at a time you or TA are able to give it. Initially he only holds the wait card for a minute or so, eventually you can leave him with a "wait" for 10 mins, 15 mins, til the end of carpet time or whatever.)

Don't assume it's all for attention. Neither of you is qualified to rule out attention deficit, attachment issues (hypervigilance), visual processing issues etc. Ask for professional involvement. Get parents working with you if you can.

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In short- Seek barriers; remove them.

Thank you. Yes we aren't ruling anything out yet. We are going to let him settle in and my Head and Senco have agreed that we will involve SEND or other agencies if we feel his behaviour isn't improving.

His reception teacher has worked hard with him and he has made great improvements. Parents are relatively supportive but I believe they also struggle with him too.

I would be trying a more unconditional approach in order to meet the unmet needs he is expressing. Abstracted’s suggestions are helpful and you could try other sensory integration approaches (no need for diagnosis to try many simple strategies that might work).
I absolutely wouldn’t be over praising friends doing the right thing - likely to fuel resentment more than anything.
Maybe read Ross Greene’s ‘Plan B’ strategies (The Explosive Child).

Also don’t rule out that he might be missing dad, rather than dad making his behaviour worse. The bringing of the toy to school might be helping - as a transitional object.
Think about resources around loss and change. Margot Sunderland would be excellent to read and she produces some story books with accompanying work books that can help.

Thanks will check those out

One of my pet hates is professionals seeing 'attention seeking' as such a negative thing that needs 'stamping out'. As with any behaviour this little boy is desperately trying to tell you something. You need to look carefully at what this boy needs and then look to how he can get what he needs without the disruptive behaviour. In my experience if a child is desperate for attention and you 'ignore the bad' they will just look for more and more disruptive ways until they get the attention they need.

My ds2 can be 'silly' in class. Part of the reason is that he sees himself as the 'silly boy' (as that is what he has been told by the staff) so is just fulfilling the role. He also is desperate to be liked by the other boys (who the staff favour as they are bright and/or sporty) so by being 'silly' it makes the other boys laugh.

One of my pet hates is professionals seeing 'attention seeking' as such a negative thing that needs 'stamping out'. As with any behaviour this little boy is desperately trying to tell you something. You need to look carefully at what this boy needs and then look to how he can get what he needs without the disruptive behaviour. In my experience if a child is desperate for attention and you 'ignore the bad' they will just look for more and more disruptive ways until they get the attention they need.

My ds2 can be 'silly' in class. Part of the reason is that he sees himself as the 'silly boy' (as that is what he has been told by the staff) so is just fulfilling the role. He also is desperate to be liked by the other boys (who the staff favour as they are bright and/or sporty) so by being 'silly' it makes the other boys laugh.

It sounds as though he may be missing his father/struggling with being between two homes. Not blaming the parents at all - they sound involved and supportive but the child may be struggling. I've seen similar this year with a secondary aged child whose parents split - he became silly/disruptive because he was struggling to deal with the emotions/change.

Definitely praise the child as much as possible for doing the right thing.

Could a fidget you be trialled at carpet times to help him focus and have your TA with him too.

Something I've seen in primaries which may help is a marble jar. The child earns a marble for doing the right thing and when they have earned a certain amount, they get a reward - something simple like a sticker or 5 mins computer time would do.

If he is getting fidgety could he be given a 'job' to do to help you or the TA so that he has a focus and you can then priase him for his good work.

I hope you find some strategies that help him - he sounds like he's really struggling bless him.

Disruptive behaviour affects the WHOLE class. I have a duty to ensure every child in my class gets the most from their time in Year 1. In my experience that is often difficult to achieve when one child creates chaos and disruption.

I totally understand that he's trying to tell us something but I need to manage the class whilst I try and work out what that is. I need to teach and the other 29 child have a right to learn.

He's a bright and funny little boy. He's well liked by his friends but they get annoyed with him sometimes. If he's playing or doing his own thing he's fine, it's mostly carpet time/assembly time that he finds hard.

I myself have two boys, now older teens and I do get how boys minds work. Not once did I say I want to 'stamp out' the behaviour. But disruptive behaviour helps no one.

Sit him near a TA or teacher so he's got no reason to go on a wriggle tour of the carpet, and something to define the space he's got to stay in (I love wobble cushions). I'd be using any extra adult to quietly focus him and praise any good behaviour during input time and lots of tactically ignoring - and giving something like a fiddle (my own kid who needs something to do uses a tangle as it was the thing I found the least likely to be really irritating in an infant classroom and the most utterly uninteresting to any of her peers in terms of disrupting others) to try to stop the carpet picking - or just ignore it, completely deadpan when you remove the car he's found from under the classroom cupboards and no eye contact or anything and pop it on the side without missing a beat.

I have a child who is quite like this and was a blooming nightmare for the early part of year 1 - has actually really got it together now and the penny's started to drop that there are good ways to get the attention - but she definitely did better with the half of the Y1 job share who really really ignored any attempts at the button pushing and jumped on the appropriate behaviour positively than with the teacher who went into it much more determined to stamp it out. Still a bit of a steamroller of attempted helpfulness who just needs mildly sitting on from time to time but the silly nonsense stopped quite quickly with some thought into carpet seating plans and redirection.

I see it from both sides - both as having kids myself one of whom can be quite challenging and attention seeking (in her case it's a strategy to manage high levels of anxiety and thankfully her teachers have been amazing at figuring out how to help her without it dropping into a negative spiral of her acting up to a label of being "the silly one") and another who needs to fiddle and fidget because of SN issues... and having dealt with it as a classroom teacher. In the interim you're going to have to channel it appropriately as a precursor to managing to "stamp it out" though - however much it might drive you barmy in the process.

pantsy thank you for this. We can get a cushion and tangle easily for him to use, both already in school.

My TA and I are determined to support him as best we can so at least a united front there!

You have basically described my 5yo, apart from the divorcing parents element. Most of what he does is related to feelings - anxiety or anger usually, and unpicking those often helps him. Unfortunately he is quite tenacious so will keep pushing the buttons until I explode which I immediately regret

The best thing I ever heard was from a hugely experienced specialist teacher who had come in to observe a very troubled year 1 little boy. The Senco listed whinged about all his attention seeking behaviour, and the specialist just calmly said, "then give him attention".

Some of the strategies she gave that worked for me in a busy classroom included

• a 'secret' signal between the adults and the child such as a The a-ok sign, a thumbs up or whatever you choose. It acted as a way to say I see you, hear you etc in inputs or assemblies. Or I need you, are you there for the child.
• 5 mins 1 on 1 time at a convenient point in the day to read together, play a game together. Class teacher & the ta take it in turns to take the class while the other gives undivided attention for those 5 mins.
• giving opportunities for self-esteem activities eg if great at Lego, teach another child how to build something
• to help with shouting out, if child didn't have opportunity to share their ideas/answers on the carpet, I would flash a button at child and put on the desk. At a convenient point I'd remind what we'd been thinking about at the 'button' moment and ask what he'd wanted to share. If he couldn't remember, he used to tell me anything he wanted! Some days there no buttons, and some days there were several!

I know it's difficult when there are 29 other little people needing you but I used to try and look at it as making life better for us all by giving this 1 child a bit more.

You’re lucky! You’ve described 50% of my class ever year!

(Teaching practice) I had great results with a similar child in reception. The teacher had him at the back, with a ta when she was available.
I moved him forward, he actually used to sit partly on my feet. I'd touch him on the arm etc if he started to fidget, so I could carry on teaching. Worked really well for me on the carpet.