Dealing with a difficult colleague

[BG2015]

I teach in a small primary school, been teaching 23 yrs. Still love it and want every child I teach to get the most from their education.

A teacher joined us 2 years ago and is due to come back from maternity leave soon. She worked for just over a year before going off. We are a very warm and friendly school, very tolerant and understanding as a staff. She has struggled to fit in and many of our support staff have noticed how strict she is often unnecessarily.

She's in the direct class above me so I did and will continue to have quite a bit to do with her in September.

She was an NQT when she started with us but in her late 20's and had worked in schools before. Very confident, sure of herself and actually a very good teacher.

The kids in her class made progress but at a cost to their emotional health as she wasn't always very nurturing with them. There were numerous complaints from parents that she had been quite unkind to their children - I'm not sure how this was dealt with by SLT but they were and are aware that this particular teacher can be quite overly strict.

My class are moving into her class in September and they are quite a sensitive bunch. They are one of the nicest classes I've taught and I'm so worried about them moving up.

I'm hoping she may have mellowed since having a baby but I very much doubt it.

Any advice?

Be very careful. If she is a classic narc bully she will be very adept at talking her way out of trouble, playing the victim and deflecting.

Hercule

I will consider all of that when the new year starts thank you.

OP, I really do not understand this. What about the children in her care now? There are, what, 6 weeks of term left? If she needs capability or gross misconduct procedures started, you should be acting now. You are not, which suggests you are not that concerned and might be motivated by dislike.

The OP said she's on maternity leave so not teaching this term.

Myother

She already does that! Definitely plays the victim.

Sorry: you’re right.

I still think this is a very odd post. The OP doesn’t say anything positive about the woman except that she is a good teacher, so I think needs to give at least some thought to whether this is personally motivated, and whether she would react in the same way to someone she liked more.

She is on maternity leave. She hasn't got a class.

Fair enough, OP. Do you like her personally?

Hercule, I did like her. I was one of the teachers that watched her teach for her interview, and was very impressed with her.

I've been out with her socially many times and a group of us went away for a weekend together.

But her behaviour began to change as she became more comfortable in school. I admit I've distanced myself from her as I didn't agree with what was going on in the classroom. But I have only ever been professional towards her.

Fair enough. If you are genuinely concerned, speak to the Head or safeguarding lead.

But the “plays the victim” comment is ringing alarm bells for me. That’s what people say when they really dislike someone. Maybe speak to someone else who is more objective about her before you go all out to lose her her job.

In fairness to the OP it was me who first suggested that bullies, particularly narcissistic ones, like to 'play the victim.' It's well known, observable behaviour and usually follows a pattern.

Myothercarisalsoshit

But she then agreed with it. I just think she needs to take care that her only motivations are professional ones.

I'd never thought of her like that - as a narcissist. But I looked it up and her personality is very similar.

It might be that she has a different way than you and it makes you feel insecure about your own behaviour management strategies.

Are you good at dealing with behaviour?
Do you compare yourself to her unfavourably?
Does she push your “not good enough buttons?”

I have seen things like this schools before myself and teachers can behave like a wolf pack when they are threatened by another one.

Are you sure you’re not spending too much time thinking about her methods and not enough time thinking about improving your own?

You’re not her manager. Her manager should be dealing with this really, it is inappropriate for you to get involved unless you really believe children are at risk.

Bumb

No I've actually learnt lots of good practise from her. She's come in with fresh ideas as an NQT and her experience from her previous role.

My behaviour management is just fine, I've had some difficult classes over my 23 years and some wonderful classes and have coped with whatever has been thrown at me, adapted accordingly to cohorts and children.

What I've never done is be so strict that children are frightened of me and don't want to come to school.

We've had some whole school training today at our staff meeting and the trainer was talking about how children may not remember what you've taught them but they remember how you treated them and things you said to them - children learn if they feel happy and safe.

This situation really has nothing to do with me at all but to do with the children in our school.

I went to the Head once with serious concerns about an incident I'd witnessed between another teacher and a child. It was out-and-out verbal abuse. I opened with, "Look, I may be speaking out of turn here, but I need to tell you this."
When I'd finished, she said nothing other than, "Thank you for telling me." (I do happen to know through the grapevine though that it was taken further, and I also happened to see the child's parent sitting outside her office first thing next morning, waiting to see her. So at least she had a heads up).