Rant - 6th form parent

[EvilTwins]

I teach 6th Form in a non-school setting. Had an email from a parent this evening saying that she and her DH are away this week and since their DC suffers from anxiety they might find it difficult to come in every day this week. She went on to say that she would “appreciate it” if I didn’t “put any pressure” on the student if they don’t show up and that she has told her DC to go and stay with a specific family member if they don’t feel safe at home by themselves.

If you know your DC feels like this (and it’s yr 13 so anxiety is exacerbated by inevitable stress at this time of year) why would you go away? And why is it down to me to manage it???

Rant over.

She didn't actually say this though did she? Your OP says she would “appreciate it” if I didn’t “put any pressure” on the student if they don’t show up

She just didn't want you ringing the student to put pressure on them. I'm not seeing where this says she expects the student to get away with not ringing the absence line/email in or whatever.

And your OP, and subsequent posts were full of criticism for the parents decision to go away and leave her. Which was unfounded as it happened.

shattered As I haven't seen the actual email I can't really say.

My objection was to the fact that the parents expected me to not do my job properly because they had chosen to go on holiday! Expecting a student to turn up every day is basic. If a child is ill, then I’m hardly likely to call them and bully them. In this case, the parents had told their child it was OK to stay at home/go stay with a family member and not turn up because they were away and expected me to just go along with that. The point being that they were expecting their child to not manage ordinary life in their absence.

My concern is with the child and their education. Unfortunately IRL I can’t very well tell the parents not to go away if they think their child won’t cope. It seems it’s ok for them to tell me what to do (or not to do) though.

They weren't telling you, it was a request
Presumably they thought she COULD cope which is why they left her. They were probs just covering all bases, planning for the worse case scenario jsut in case. If they hadn't done this, you'd probably be criticising them for that as well.
But you know you just go on thinking the parents are wrong whatever they do. You can't win with some teachers, they certainly aren't interested in working together in the best interests of the student, they just want to parent blame.

Oh please @underachieverspleasetryharder

I am beginning to think this is how you must operate with teachers ie you're under the impression that they are one of your staff.

The majority of parents asking for a such a request, would phrase the initial email in much less bossy way than the OP describes.

You're just being argumentative for the sake of it. Top tip, be charming & polite- you much more likely to get what you want.

*you are

I think I make a very valid point actually.

You can't win with some teachers, they certainly aren't interested in working together in the best interests of the student, they just want to parent blame.

If you had the slightest idea about what my job actually involves, you would see just how wrong this is. But I'm not going into that here. The fact remains that the parents in this case booked a holiday without making any arrangements for their DC who has anxiety issues and then decided to push it back on me (I'm their child's one and only teacher) to compensate. Had the student not turned up, I would have had to take the same action I would under any other circumstances. I've been teaching well over 20 years and have never had such a request - which amounted to "we're going on holiday and if that means our child can't come to school for whatever reason, please turn a blind eye" How is that decent parenting?