Stressed DH - any advice?

[QueenCelestia]

Apologies if this is a bit of a long post, I feel like I'm not being very supportive of my DH at the moment and wonder if I need to approach the situation differently.

DH is Head of Faculty in a secondary academy. He's been very stressed for about a year, partly due to some specific workplace issues but mainly due to a perceived insecurity about his job.

To give some background, he is HoF for lots of random subjects that didn't seem to fit into any other faculty. Over the past couple of years, HoF's other than for English/Maths seem to have gradually been phased out and their responsibilities taken over by SLT members, so he feels he is a bit of an anomaly. The insecurity has come to a head because the current headteacher is leaving and he is worried about structural changes once a new Head takes over.

There are no question marks over his performance - he does his job well and SLT are happy with what he does. Results are good. He had counselling for stress last summer and things improved but I can see him sliding back again.

I have suggested looking for a new job as he's so worried about his current job - probably stepping back to Head of Department. The trouble is I think he is fearful of the process. Plenty of suitable jobs seem to come up but he finds fault with all of them - location, demographic, doesn't want to teach X part of the subject, has "heard stories" about the Head etc.

I am struggling with how to support him as I get a little bit frustrated at his lack of willingness to change the situation he is in. I am a teacher too, although primary, so do understand some of the stresses. I have left awful academy jobs, made compromises etc so I suppose that's why I find it hard that he won't be more open-minded. I should add, I work part-time (0.8) so I guess I have it easier, although I have always taken on 99% of the family/childcare arrangements.

Any suggestions from other secondary staff about how I should support him? Maybe a return trip to the doctor is needed.

My Dh isn't a teacher, but he's been like this in the past. He went through a really rough patch at work a few years ago, but wouldn't do anything about it - he never applied for a single other job. My DH wouldn't even go to the doctors, so you've done better than me, if you've managed to get him to go.

It sounds like the stress and worry is mostly in his own head, so, yes, I do think a trip to the GP would be best. The school itself sounds fairly good - things like redundancies and Headteachers changing are things that happen all the time, and in a normal state of mind he would have the resilience to deal with it, but he doesn't for some reason.

TBH, when it came to my DH, I became quite unsupportive of him, after telling him to change jobs, go to the doctors about a 1000 times, I just washed my hands of it - they were his feelings not mine and only he could sort out making himself happier.

My DH's situation finally sort itself out after an old boss, who he really liked, happened to contact him about a job - my DH took it and the situation solved itself. But my DH did literally nothing to sort it out.

Thanks so much for replying. I think I have persuaded him to go back to the doctor. Turns out morale is really low at the school and staff are leaving in droves, so it will only be worse for the few that are left!

Glad things worked out for your DH - I feel only a similar piece of luck would entice my DH into another job.