I work in a private international school. We've got a mixed intake but the most challenging situation we have to deal with, are "those parents".
I'm a form tutor. There's a couple of kids with overbearing parents in my form.
Family 1: if they are contacted about their darling son about anything, I get a barrage of emails in the evenings about how I am mishandling everything and have hung him out to dry and why am I so judgemental it's just normal behaviour. He's causing trouble up and down the school with some really nasty behaviour and I would like to help him bloody well stop. I like the boy! He just needs to stop acting like a dickhead, you know? They're not interested in my help, they'd much prefer to say that he was really upset to be confronted with his actions so I must have done something wrong.
Family 2: Mum is on the governors. Her daughter is a target of exclusion-bullying right now but is also quite difficult in her own way. Mum keeps writing "we chose a private school to avoid these sorts of issues" as if having enough money to send your kid here would make you automatically have better parenting skills. The girl has been making trouble in one lesson and instead of the parents backing the school, you guessed it, why oh why can't the teacher just teach her in a way that doesn't provoke her???
BOTH bloody families keep writing in their emails to me "this has been going on for years and we're not happy" and I believe them. The deputy head who has been dealing with it is conflict averse and has let it fester so as not to disappoint anyone. This has NOT worked, obviously.
As a lowly form tutor, I can't say what needs to be said but I still get everything in the neck. I let the deputy head take family 1 because I got a sinus infection last week and apparently the meeting to tell the boy "don't call other students 'ugly''" couldn't wait for me to get better. She's not shared anything about the situation/meeting with me. She does have a problem with me, and this is a great way to fuck with me.
Oh god, the more I type this out, the solution is obvious. The problem isn't the parents, it's the deputy head. But what do I do? She's not going anywhere. There aren't schools in my local area, so I'd have to move cities to find another job.
What CAN I say to difficult parents like this that won't get me into more trouble and give the deputy head more opportunities to mess with me?
You're all so wise and I've used a lot of what I read here when I am lurking.