To what extent is it ok for a teacher to call a student something bad?

[QueriesAndQuestions]

Stupid , selfish , annoying , immature , mouthy , loud , gobby , attention seeker , full of energy , daydreamer , ditzy , muppet, lazy.What are your opinions on teachers Saying these things to pupils ? . What is the furthest you would go or the worst word you’d call a student . What is something you would never say . Curious as Friend has told us a few stories about her son being called these - from her sons view anyway.

I would bloody never ever say any of those things to a child’s face! There’s actually very few children I don’t get in with, most I just go oh they’re 8 whatever let it go. I’m strict but fair and even the most “naughty” of children behave for me. Saying that to a child’s face is terrible imo. Doesn’t stop you thinking it sometimes obviously but positive regard is really important

Depends. A stupid thing to do? Ok. You’re stupid? Soooo not ok.
Loud. Well sometimes some people are.
Muppet. I can imagine DD’s teacher saying that when she forgets her water bottle again.
A lot of it depends on the tone and the relationship between them. But should a teacher insult or belittle a student? Of course not.

Primary or secondary?
I’m secondary and I’ve certainly told kids to stop being so immature, or to stop annoying their classmate or being so loud.

Generally it’s used as a behaviour descriptor rather than saying ‘you’re immature’ or ‘you’re annoying’.

I'd say you are 'being' lazy etc not your ARE lazy as I feel saying that can be incredibly damaging to self esteem... you dont want a child growing up thinking they just ARE a bad/lazy/selfish person... you want them to know sometimes they behave badly but that's not who they have to be and they can choose to behave better.

She’s not on mumsnet and has asked I ask ect . Apparently her son was on the verge of tears . He’s not perfect as I know ( I taught him being a supply teacher last year ) . I’m happy to say and think that’s there isn’t many teachers I’m aware of who would say things like this

"in loco parentis"

So call them what you like, if they deserve it

Maybe friend should be worried more about how her child is acting at school.
Perfectly happy to call mine a PITA if they’re being so!

Your list is interesting: since when has full of energy been bad? I mean, obviously we all know it's a euphemism, but it's fine to say that to a student!!

The day I have had today, they're all fair game, mind.

I always comment on the behaviour, not the person. I would say, 'that was/ would be a stupid thing to do, and I know that you are not a stupid person' or 'can you understand why a person might find that quite annoying?'

I get on very very well with DD1's teacher in particular and being from a teaching background myself I tend to get a slightly more unguarded version of events than the more keen to take offence parents may get (I am utterly fine with this).

I think "mildly despotic" sums DD1 up perfectly as does "her politicians' approach to telling the truth" sometimes (DD1 is the master of telling you something that's strictly factually accurate but presented in the manner that will present DD1 in the best possible light and missing out all of the bits of the sequence of events where DD1 did something wrong). I'm just relieved her teacher's got the full measure of her to be honest - and her ability to stop DD1 in full flow with a simple raised eyebrow is one I HAVE to master.

Noodle/nugget are my favourite insults, said in fondness and exasperation.
Selfish I have said. Generally to a class or ‘that behaviour is selfish’.

Stupid is absolutely out- except maybe on “that was a stupid thing to do”. But all the others I wouldn’t have a problem with, if they were accurate.

Haha I'd say every single one

Today I have gone for "diva", mostly. And "foolish child", which is my catchphrase. Said with love, naturally.

Oh, and "pest".

I wouldn’t say any of them except for ‘immature’ which I would use to say ‘that’s immature’ or ‘stop being immature’.
I have used pathetic as well in my time.

When I was an NQT I called a student an idiot as a joke, we all laughed. It was all fine. I then spent the whole weekend worrying about being struck off I don’t think we should insult the students.

I yell mine they are 'noisy creatures' but with affection and laughter in my voice. I would also say 'stop being silly' but never you are a, b , c etc. Always their behaviour.

Never yell- tell!

I personally think a good long blank stare right into their eyes says enough about my distain. And has plausible deniability. If I called a student stupid I would most probably be summoned to the heads office for a telling off. Not worth the hassle.

*disdain

Well, my PE teacher called me Fatty (I wasn't, not even remotely) because I didn't do very well in the bleep test on my first day back after being off sick for 3 months.
Never thought to complain, TBH, but it was probably a step too far.

See, my kids (alternative provision) would respond really, really badly to a distainful look. A gentle verbal nudge is much better. This sort of thing is all about context, tone and relationships.

Think it depends on age of child. Primary? Probably none of those. Heading towards end of secondary? Yes, as a behaviour descriptor I would and I have used several of those. If a 16 year old is behaving in a way more appropriate to a primary child (assuming no ASN) then I'm absolutely going to flag that as immature. A final year student who can't be bothered to attend pre arranged study sessions/complete homework because (own admission) they couldn't be bothered or because there was too much banter happening in the canteen? Yes, I'd possibly describe that as lazy.

I would never call a student stupid. I've most certainly called some of the behaviour of the Y8 girls attention seeking ...

I have said things like "that was daft/silly" "you are being very silly/immature" "you are behaving like a 5 year old".

I have called kids lemons/daft bananas, when they do something clearly silly and they are laughing about it. I wouldn't do it if a child was upset about a mistake.