If you had the option of a staff discount on school fees...

[wherethekestrelscall]

...did you take it? Did you decide against? Are you pleased with the decision you made or do you have regrets?

We are nearing the deadline of having to decide whether or not to send our DC to the independent secondary school where I work. They offer an extremely generous staff discount and this, coupled with the fact that the GPs would also like to make a contribution, means that we have the option of an absolutely first class private education for really very little money. However, our most likely state school option is also excellent. We are going round in circles trying to decide what to do, and I wondered if anyone had any pearls of wisdom. One minute I think we would be crazy to pass up such an amazing opportunity; the next minute I think we would be crazy to spend any money at all on education when we have a very good state school option for free. At the independent, I worry about the DC fitting in with the rich crowd, and about committing myself to working in the same place for the next decade or so (although I'm very happy there at the moment). At the state school, I worry mostly about the shocking state of school funding, teacher workload etc - and I'm aware that however good the school is, it still can't compete with the opportunities (subject choice, sport, music etc) that the the indie has.

Obviously I know that we are incredibly fortunate to have such a choice - but it's still a really hard decision!! Would be grateful for any MN thoughts.

No, personally I would never, ever have my children attend the same school as me.

From experience grandparents can change their mind at the drop of a hat, so do it based on your income alone. We send our children to the school where dh works, it really does depend on your finances and whether it’s a good fit for your child.

I’ve had my DDs in school with me. It was fine.

My friend taught in an independent and moved her daughter there for the last 2 years. Reasons were she wanted to be a doctor and the work ethic was better, teaching was better and she had anecdotal evidence of a "good" school being advantageous at the university interview.

The children of teachers at my boarding school always got a hard time; looking back now, I think it was unfair but then children aren't always very fair or kind!

If it's such a hard choice why not take the fee-paying place and open up the excellent state school place to someone who doesn't have both options?

Do you a high profile role at the school? If for example you are a full time teacher, could be difficult having a child as a pupil. I have however know teachers with two children at their school and it seemed to work fine, they set ground rules before the children start there.

If however you have a different role and are not well known, there would be less difficulty. Could be handy too.

The independent school definitely sounds the better of the two.

Tbh crafty ime kids and their parents can have very different ideas of what "fine" is.

Thanks for all the responses. I'm in an admin not a teaching role, so I think that makes that side of things a bit easier. Interesting about 'freeing up' a state school place. I hadn't really thought of it like that. If anything, my concern would be more the ethics of opting for private - but that's an interesting perspective.

I really find that statement weird: if you have ethics about private schools, why work in one?

It isn't as simple as "freeing" a space for another kid anyway. Some schools need numbers. Plus, well behaved hard working students are good - essential actually - for the success of a school.

OK, this really wasn't meant as a 'private schools right or wrong' thread, but to answer v briefly... 1) I'm not a big anti private school person - just that I don't come from that background, I am generally a little bit left of centre, I have some mixed feelings about the state/private sysyem; 2) I don't actually see working in a private school the same as sending your children to one; I don't think working in finance in a private school is much different from working in a bank or a company - in fact I prefer it as I'm still contributing towards the education of children (albeit mostly wealthy children); for me, choosing whether to send my own child to a private school is a much more significant decision; 3) our state alternative is a grammar, it has no shortage of 'good' children and is massively over-subscribed. Still v interested in any comments, especially from anyone who has made this decision.

prettywhiteguitar thanks for your point about finances. In this case I think the GPs are very unlikely to change their minds, but it is of course possible that they could have a change in their own circumstances. With their input the cost is fairly easy to manage. Without their help it would still be doable but with fairly significant sacrifices. Do you have any other insights? Was this a decision you struggled with, or was it an easy choice? Was your DH concerned about being tied to his job? Do the staff kids fit in OK with others? Sounds like you are happy with the decision, but any more info would be most welcome.

I don't take advantage of mine. My kids are happy in their local school and I don't want to be tied to my job for the rest of their school life. They are primary age though, if I'm still there when they are secondary I may well use it

Yep, my children come to my school. It's an incredible school and fantastic place to work and with a huge discount it would be stupid not to.

It was a very long and tortured decision because of all the reasons above, tied to job and money. However dh loves the school and we are happy with the decision. My ds has dyscalculia and dyslexia so we probably would not have sent them all to prep school first ideally, but he has hugely benefited from doing so.

If I could do it all again I would have saved from the minute they were born, if I had gone to the independent school near my village I would have thrived at school instead of hating it. I had the same issues as my ds so my take on education is probably coloured by that experience. My parents chose to take us on lots of holidays and have nice things but I would have preferred a great education. Having said that I certainly don’t judge anyone for not choosing independent schooling, it’s a financial commitment and not an easy one. It just works for us because of our particular situation and the school is quite unusual.

That said there is far more movement between schools in the independent sector so I thing if things changed I would be happy that they had got a good education so far if we then had to move them to state. Nothing is fixed !

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3444650-Aibu-to-think-most-people-have-no-idea-what-its-like-being-a-secondary-teacher

Perhaps a read of this thread may sway your opinion. I have no personal experience in private schools but the behaviour in state schools is absolutely shocking (even in the 'nice' ones) and many say that this isn't nearly as bad in private education

I would take advantage of the discount. You can always move them back to state if you decide to leave the job

Thank you so much everyone. Still not decided, but lots of food for thought. I think all the stuff around Brexit is making the decision harder too. It just feels like the future is so uncertain at the moment.

I think it really depends on which school is hte best fit for your DS.
Just see it as a choice between the two schools rather than a choice between the two systems.
I am assuming that he is likely to pass the entrance tests for both?
Does one offer specific subjects/extra curricular etc that he would be particularly interested in? Sport, music, drama, STEM, art etc
Does the ethos of one school suit him better?
Assuming he doesn't want to travel to school with you every day, which has the better journey?

I assume you only have the one DC?

I think you need to be really sure that you will want to stay in your job for the next 7 years.

Both my DC are at indies, and lots of teachers/staff have children at the schools. I am not aware that this has been an issue for the other pupils.