Are teachers entitled to emergency parental leave?

[HeyThoughIWalk]

DH is a teacher. He's very conscientious, but I think he's being a bit TOO conscientious! Essentially, he doesn't think teachers are entitled to emergency parental leave under any circumstances. He had never heard of it, and said I was being ridiculous to suggest it.

The context for this was that I fell one day while out with the kids (3yo and baby). Realised I'd probably broken my arm, and would need to go to A&E. I also couldn't lift DD (baby), and had hit my head, and suddenly got very tired, so I was worried I'd faint while on my own with the kids (I had got us all home by this point).

DH was in work, but I knew that the afternoon was being spent with some theatre group who'd come in to work with them, so he was just supervising (with other teachers & assistants). The children were going home at 2, and then he was due to stay until 3. This all happened at lunch time, so I phoned him, explained what had happened, and asked whether he could come home early (there was no one else I could think of to call). This was firstly because I was worried I couldn't look after the kids (because I couldn't use 1 arm, and because I felt I could be about to pass out) and secondly so that I could go to A&E.

He said he couldn't; he had to stay until 3. I'd kind of understand if he was teaching his class all afternoon, but as I knew he was literally just sitting supervising, I had figured that it would be relatively easy for someone else to do that.

But in this case, should he be allowed to leave? Or is it just "not the done thing"?

@BlaaBlaaBlaa it may well be contractual that he can't take too much time off for childcare. I was off when my daughter had chicken pox for three days. They only paid me for the first one.

That's standard for many organisations. Most places say you can have a certain number of paid days but they can't be consecutive. The idea is they are for an emergency so you get paid for day one but you either need to sort alternative arrangements out or use leave/unpaid leave for any subsequent days.
The op's DH is saying he can't have any which will be incorrect.

@BlaaBlaaBlaa I am referring to this comment of yours.

Why does he lie about having to take care of his children? Does he think he'll be viewed as not being serious about his career or is he embarrassed because childcare is 'womens' work?

I think it was probably he wanted to be paid.

He will be allowed at least one day of paid dependants leave. The op wasn't asking him to take a week off. He used the excuse that he can't take any time off - not true.
It also sounds like his headteacher is reasonable too given he was told to take time off when his mum died.

@marco you know men are allowed to use dependants leave in the same way as women do. He phoned in sick one day rather than use a day of paid dependants leave - there was no need for him to lie about the need to be a responsible parent.

Echoing other people.
We can have emergency leave like any other job. Though some MATs and heads are more human and sympathetic than others. School culture makes a difference to how its received.

Thanks everyone! I think he thinks he's not entitled to anything because I'm at home with the kids, so that should mean there are no emergencies, or something. To be honest, I'm not sure he really even thinks about it; he just goes to work and expects everything at home to sort itself.

Your situation at home has no bearing on his contractual entitlement. It might be a good idea to review his contract so he fully understands what he's entitled to!

Does he do anything other than work then?

I think that's a good idea, @BlaaBlaaBlaa! I must ask him if he knows where his contract is.

The trust I work for (I’m non teaching staff) gives energency leave for situations like yours but it is unpaid and usually only one day is allowed, during that day you are supposed to make other arrangements. So, TBH him calling in sick when you had flu, while not RIGHT, was probably the best thing to do.

Maybe he's paranoid and anxious about his job for some reason? Not a teacher but I work in a school and teachers definitely do take time off for family emergencies. Is there a really poor culture where he works or something? Just because you're not out to work doesn't mean there's never going to be some reason you're not able to manage, as recent examples show.
Honestly shocked he would leave you to cope alone with a broken arm, that's insane.

My husband is a teacher and I was a sahm. He has taken several days off over the years as emergency leave when I was incapacitated with a bad back (although annoyingly that was only 1 day and he arranged an emergency childminder for the next 2 days which would have been awful as I was breastfeeding my 7 month old at the time but I was slightly off my head on tramadol!) bereavement, his mum with advanced stage Alzheimer’s needing emergency care. Since I’ve been working we take turns in staying home for sick kids.

Of course he could have left. We have had teachers and staff have to leave quickly for similar reasons.

And what if you were working, too, and unreachable or away on a trip and your child was ill ... would he not collect her? Of course he would.

I just don't understand how you are so calm about this op.... my husband is my partner and I expect him to have my back at all times. I have been ill with a toddler and a baby. He wouldn't dream of leaving me. He had also come home when my back gave out and I couldn't lift the baby safely.
I couldn't respect a man who didn't put his wife and child first.

This won't be in his contract but the school will have a policy in its handbook. He sounds selfish.

I have left early or had time on multiple occasions. I have used emergency parental or carers leave, paid &/or unpaid. I appreciate I have a school with a good culture - but they also want to keep me & I go above and beyond whenever I can. It cuts both ways.

It's a man thing nothing to do with him being a teacher (that's just an excuse). Women are ALWAYS the ones to go in late, leave early, or stay home for family/house emergencies.

I've had to have words with my husband on more than one occasion about this. One time I got up for work (I get up later than he does) and there was water pouring through the kitchen ceiling. I obviously contacted work straight away and told them I would be in late. Called my husband after phoning emergency plumbers etc and he said "oh yes it was doing that this morning before I left"!!! And he had just left it and gone to work! Wtf!!!

He just doesn't seem to think it is ok to call work and tell them he's coming in late or wfh or whatever for ANYTHING. He won't do it for urgent doctors appts, he takes leave! He's a little better now I've had words numerous time's and made it clear that it can't ALWAYS be my responsibility to miss work for home/family emergencies and we need share responsibility but he still needs reminding. And of course that you don't fuck off out for any reason when there is water pouring through the ceiling!

I'm not a teacher, but I work on a school and we have a staff handbook which says we get 5 days paid per year to deal with emergencies (5 separate days) So if my child throws up I can sort out care for the next day, and this can happen 5 times a year. Obviously this is no good if my child has chicken pox, or a child is over 18 and needs me to be there during an operation...then it's at the HTs discretion, so would be unpaid.

Every single colleague who's mother has died has taken a week off...you can take a week off and self certify.

It’s possible there are politics in play that prevent him from asking for time off when he needs it. We have the same at my work — people with stay at home partners aren’t viewed kindly at all if they have to take time off for a family emergency that doesn’t involve someone dying / seriously unwell.

Not every school does give paid time off to care for dependents - my old school didn’t. DH on the other hand gets 3 days a year so he tends to be off if DC are ill & we can’t arrange an alternative.

There can also be something of a martyr culture in teaching - people dragging themselves in with limbs hanging off etc. which makes it hard to ask for time off. Generally speaking dh & I would try every alternative - family or local friends - first in the kind of situation you describe rather than dragging the other away from work. In my case that’s despite a really supportive head but I always think I need to save goodwill for a really big emergency!

I once had to call Dh home from his nursing job because dd had fallen down the stairs and needed to go to A and E. While he was making arrangements I actually heard two female managers discussing the situation in the background while I was on the phone to him. Including the charming phrase,
“For goodness sake! Where’s her mother?!”

The cultural expectations of men (and women) can still be a long way off what the law requires.

I am a cm and look or have looked after various teachers children. One child had both parents teachers. I know parents have pre warned head child not well so know it may happen, and yes a couple of times teachers have had to collect children.

You definitely are allowed emergency leave as others have said. My child broke his leg and I had to have two weeks off with him (serious fracture of the femur; he was only 2). My head was brilliant. I still got paid. I don’t know how she swung that one. I never asked!