Secondary school - death of a parent

[OpalCat]

If a parent of a child died last term, would the child's subject teachers this year in a large comp normally know this because it would be marked on the records in some way, or would they only be informed when it happened? One child was at the school when it happened and one joined in Sept. (I contacted the FT and HOH before younger one joined to flag it up.)
Also, all staff were informed at the time. What would it have said in the email other than child X's father has died ? Odd question i know, but when i replay the day dh died in my head i always wonder this for some reason.
I was happy with how the school dealt with it and haven't had any issues I just wondered.
Thanks

Large schools are generally a bit crap about this so it probably isn't apparent to any teachers new to your DCs . If it was on records, the teacher would have to be looking to see it. Soem brilliant HoHs send out lists each year of TLC students like I used to when I was HOY but not by any means all.

It's worth asking the school to do a reminder, especially around the time of any sensitive anniversaries . Sometimes schools have fantatstic satff who remember these things, or have stystems and calendars, but in such large places it's not a given.

The email sent out probably would have just gone to the teachers who taught your DC at the time and most likely owuld have been very senstively. worded.

I hope this helps.

ps sorry for typos...

Thanks Piggy. I wasn't sure if it might show on the online register or something, although i don't know what an online school register looks like.

Very sorry to hear of your loss. DH (secondary school subject teacher) says in his school he would have got an email when the school was notified (if the child was in a class he teaches) saying X’s parent has died and to be sensitive to that in dealing with the child, and it would have any other relevant info which the school had been told (eg child is very teary or child has a time out card for this). He says there’s no way of showing this info on the electronic register at his school. He also says he relatively often gets an email saying it’s the 2nd, 3rd anniversary of a parent’s death, to be aware in case the student seems upset. He points out he doesn’t know about any times he wasn’t notified, obviously, but well worth flagging an anniversary or letting the school know again if you think your DC need a particular eye kept out for them, eg next term. It’s a very standard thing at his school for teachers to get emails like this re students who have particular situations (death of grandparent or serious illness of sibling etc etc too).

In my school, I would always be told when it happened but I might not know as a new teacher to the school, in the following term.
So sorry for your loss OP.

At my school there would be an email to all staff and probably mentioned in briefing. Also info on how school is supporting child. There would also be a note on their electronic record.

It’s pretty poor pastoral care not to know about whether the child has suffered the death of a parent.

Do people think that pastoral care is just the responsibility of form tutors and heads of year?

At the two schools I've worked at, we have been informed by a whole school email.

No, I’m not saying my school has it right, by any means - I agree it’s poor pastoral care. All new staff should be told and pastoral care is EVERYONE’S responsibility in my view.

@craftygin there are over 1700 students in my school. I don't know the majority personally, especially if I haven't taught them. I would have read an email if it went out but I can't remember ever detail about every student over the years and recall that when I might bump into that student.

I am very sorry for your loss OP.

At my school I would alert all the relevant staff by email at the time. Actually, possibly all staff depending.

It was also be put on that child’s electronic record which we encourage all staff to review before taking a class at the start of term. We also encourage all staff to hand over classes within their own department so the information should be shared.

From working experience of being the person whose job it is to share the information I know that many staff simply won’t take it on board unless information comes directly to them. Where possible I would send a reminder.

If you are at all concerned request a reminder.

I also try to remember to send reminders at key dates - mother’s/Father’s Day birthdays when I am aware/date of death etc.

It would have been mentioned to the teachers of your child so they were aware and could be sensitive to this in their approach and any potentially upsetting parts of the curriculum.

We also put it on the notes section of SIMS (school online management system) where all data / registers etc are. This is seen by any member of staff who looks up that particular system to contact home and would normally say something along the lines of “father deceased March 2016”.

The school will use some sort of information system, like SIMS, and there's certainly the capacity there to put a note on to the effect of "Dad died March 2018" or whatever. But even then you'd have to actively open the pupil's record to see that - it wouldn't come up on a register. All staff should/would have been notified but in a large school with even average staff turnover, while the Head of Year or form tutor would be aware, the new Biology teacher, for example, wouldn't necessarily know.
But school staff generally know never to assume - we talk about letting "the person at home" know X, we ask who's best to call about Y. We know not to assume that there's either a Mum or Dad or in fact either looking after the pupils.

At our (high) school, 3 children started the new school Year last year having lost a parent during the holidays. Two siblings and a boy related to one of our TAs. Every member of staff was told and those kids got a lot of support. I’m not sure that brand new teachers would be told the following year though.

I work in a support role in the school and i can promise you we know who are the bereaved kids, who are the kids who have a shitty homelife, who are the kids that are troubled, lonely or who just find things tough. We know and we do care.

Sorry I just noticed your question about how it would be recorded. If the circumstances were particularly awful (I can’t think how else to word this - all parental death is awful so I am sorry for my clumsy wording) like murder or a terrible accident then I may ask to meet the teachers and let them know specifically. I may allude on the electronic file that information may be shared verbally (if permission has been given). So I may not write down on record that a parent has been murdered for example but I might have a note on their record which requests staff speak to me for details should they be doing family trees etc.

That is poorly explained.

We have a section of our record which is obvious to all teachers rather than the whole extended pastoral notes - it is intended for additional support needs such as dyslexia and the like. If there was a particular circumstance which dictated I may ask for a detail to be put in there

crafty,I don't think that is what anyone is saying?
We are letting OP know that - in a large school - information is shared in certain ways and that it does no harm for a request for info to be updated.

Re the electronic register... when you take a register you simply read through a class list. To look at info about a child you have to click on their name. With the best will in the world , a secondary teacher won't do that for the 100s of students they might teach. Many schools, therefore, have soemthing like a TLC booklet, but many are also wary of printed info and mine only includes SEN info in its booklet .

There is nothing worse for all concerned than a parents' evening that begins ' of course you know that little Johnny...' so , as a parent, I would ask school to remind relevant staff. No harm done, and no one will mind.

Thanks all

We have a Monday morning briefing where updates on students are shared - it would be sensitively shared there.

Opal, I am so sorry you have lost your husband. It goes on the record where I am and student is offered counseling. I keep a close eye on any students that has face bereavement and check in with them to see how they are doing.

Thanks for all replies. I decided to email the subject teachers myself and you were right that they hadn't known, unless they taught older dd last year. Those that replied seemed glad to be told. I wonder if SIMs could have a feature added so that a red dot appeared next to the child's name on the register if they'd had a trauma such as death of a parent in the last 6 months or year. That way teachers could check the record for more info if they wanted to. Would that work?