Struggling with behaviour and my principles in Reception

[gingerbreadice]

I feel really, really down tonight.

I've been teaching for a couple years now and every year my class has been the 'bad' one (two form entry). I'm beginning to think it's me. I'm the common denominator.

The other two teachers I've worked with have been very strict and I always thought that I didn't want to speak to children like that.

For example, I had an urgent meeting today so my class was covered by one of them. I was getting ready to go and she was asking them all their names. One couldn't wait their turn and she pointed at them and said 'Don't interrupt me. I didn't ask you.'

Whereas I would have gently reminded them that we don't shout out. That's what comes naturally to me.

I do have to be honest that behaviour is not good atm, but I feel a lot of it isn't rudeness, but rather they don't know how to speak to an adult. And yet my colleagues' classes are so much better than mine.

Any advice?

You need to be stricter but that doesn't need shouting

Make a tower on the wall with 10!squares - have a big button to move up one space per shout out .... they soon learn if they reach 10 they miss x mins play time

Do an individual chart again with 1-10 on and a button - they move one space per praise - good work effort playing nicely etc

Each one earns them 1 mins 'free play at 10 mins before home time ....

This works because it's a visual reminder to you for who you've paid attention too .... and who you've missed .... you are then more 'positive' because most kids are good and want to please

Each one needs to be visual so they understand

Also you just have them on the carpet and A B and C can chose as they are the most squares then send D E and F - it doesn't have to be exact because they don't really get time

You can tell them clearly what they should do as opposed to nicely saying “don’t do that”. Eg a firm “wait your turn when I’ve finished” or “I want to see a hand up and I’ll point to you when I want you to speak”. That sort of thing.

So it’s firm but they know what’s expected.

You don’t have to be mean, be firm but fair and more than crystal clear in your instructions. Don’t say what we don’t do, say what we do.

You really can make a rod for your own back, it took me a few years for this to click into place. Also, the old “don’t smile until Christmas” does have some truth in it...

Even if it's said in a more gentle tone, "Don't shout out," is probably more negative than "Put your hand up and wait your turn before speaking, thank you." The second one tells the child exactly what is expected of them and leaves no margin for error. The first one starts with a negative (don't) and only tells them what not to do. It's less clear.

I've been having a chat with my longsuffering DH and he said he thinks it's actually a good thing I'm thinking like this, even although it has been a really crappy day.

I do know I have to improve on this. I'm going to try really hard to do the firm positive reinforcement.

And thank you for the advice, I do appreciate it

You sound lovely OP, stick with what you're doing and don't feel like you have to resort to shouting/shaming (behaviour charts)/scaring children into good behaviour.
It isn't that long into the start of the year and for reception children I don't think it's unusual for rules and routines to take a while to bed in.
Just make sure you're consistent, do your reminder for shouting out and don't give in if a child has a good answer or something really interesting to say (I'm rubbish at this as I love having a chat with the children!), ask them to keep it in their heads and make sure you come back to it later.
Have a seating plan for carpet time with the ones you need to keep an eye on at the front and the more mature ones at the back, switch it up as needed and don't forget that as a rough guide children can only be expected to concentrate for 3x their age plus an extra minute so 13 minutes for reception children.

Make a tower on the wall with 10!squares - have a big button to move up one space per shout out .... they soon learn if they reach 10 they miss x mins play time

Do NOT do this. They are 4/5 years old - whole class punishments are all kinds of wrong.

It's not about what hole class punishments it's about a visual aid on something that is lacking in class - or indeed anything the whole class is working on - good manners being kind remembering to hang coats ups - kids find remembering class rules difficult especially young children whos parents continually allow th to interrupt and they then forget at school

I agree with Holly on this one, missing minutes of playtime is questionable in regards to appropriateness for this age group anyway and no matter how it's dressed up the proposed method is a whole class punishment and 4 and 5 year olds won't understand why they have to stay in when they have been on their best behaviour. Besides which collective punishment is a war crime under the Geneva Convention

Mistoffelees

Furthermore, parents like me whose reception aged children would never behave badly (genuinely, she’s weird) will not appreciate them being punished for other kids issues, particularly only a few weeks into the year!
Likewise, my eldest is hard fucking work spirited and I don’t want his classmates punished for his issues either, it won’t help his relationships long term.

Parent not a teacher but a friend is in a school with a very challenging year R cohort. They have individual targets and little cars on a big wall chart and if they achieve a target they can move their car one space. The targets are very little ones like ‘wait my turn in the register’ and are individual to each child so very basic for dc who struggle with the behaviour requirements

I’m a Reception teacher too and you sound like a really lovely teacher who has the best interests of the children at heart.

I think Believeitornot has really good advice, firm and positively stating the behaviour you want to see. Maybe just pick one aspect at a time to work on, lining up or sitting on the carpet.

Good luck, some classes are hard work, mine have taken 5 weeks to become anywhere near manageable!

We are a free flow setting anyway so I'm afraid I wouldn't be punishing anyone with the removal of play nevermind the whole class!

Happy to report I had a much better end of week. I was using the 'clearly explain what you want' advice and used fewer words, especially when reprimanding. Saw a particular difference in shouting out during group time and talking over me.

Thanks again.

The teachers children love usually aren't the nice ones. Their favourite teachers are the ones with boundaries. I work with several teachers whose behaviour management really is exceptional. They all have very high expectations of behaviour, firm boundaries and great relationships with students. On the surface they seem so lovely but any student who misbehaves knows about it. I know I'm naturally a bit too nice so sometimes I have to act more like those teachers.