New to the job - home stress

[LucyLastik]

I am an NQT currently teaching in Year 4. I was in the very fortunate position of being able to do salaried school direct training at the school I have worked in for the past 7 years (the one I am currently in). This was beneficial for 2 reasons. The first is that my kids also go to my school and the second is that I was paid to train.

When I began my training, DH was very supportive. He works full time as a driver, but is self employed so can be flexible with his hours. He started to get a bit resentful of my training towards the end, but was pretty supportive all the way through.

It was a consciously made joint decision to go ahead with the training and my NQT year. We discussed the benefits and drawbacks and decided that the good outweighed the bad.

I've been teaching for 5 weeks now and I'm doing really well. Positive observations from SLT and my NQT mentor, good feedback from my training providers who are keeping an eye on my progress.

I'm working millions of hours, as I knew I would have to. All discussed with DH. Unfortunately, the house is looking awful and DH is beginning to get resentful about the amount of work I have to do in my 'free time' as it means I'm not available to do things that need doing indoors.

I feel resentful because it feels like everything is left to me.

When I try to broach the subject with him, it inevitably ends up in an argument.

Will it be like this forever now I'm teaching or is it because it's my NQT year and therefore very intense?

It will get easier as you are able to just tweak planning rather than starting a fresh, & you get quicker at marking and assessment, but you need to prioritise this year too or you’ll burn yourself into the ground. You will never do everything - set yourself a time after which you won’t do anything more, say 7pm? That leaves you a few hours for house stuff/spending quality time together before bed.

How much time are we talking about?

Remind him about the holidays. That’s all I can say.

Dh was really supportive during my training year and only worked part time, but we both then went full time and the NQT year was hell. I don’t think that working full time as a teacher and family life are compatible when you have to home life as well.
I now work p/t and actually have a life outside of school.

My first marriage broke up because of the hours I had to spend on teaching and all the sh*t I brought home with me. I saw him last week and he commented that we wouldn’t have split if I’d had more time genuinely free at home. Teaching is not worth it.

I'm first year after nqt. It got worse, not better.

I've got 300 books at home to mark this "holiday". And planning for next half term which still includes more than 50% of my classes doing stuff I've not taught before.

But I'm actually going to be spending time looking for a new job because I quite like my husband and children and I'd like at least a vague idea of what they look like.

It's not difficult work but the volume is ridiculous.

We have a cleaner to keep on top of the housework and I'm hugely disciplined about work/home. I teach fulltime and have a family.

I have balance and love my life.

It's very tough.
I gave up halfway through my NQT year as I was burned out, exhausted and in term time didn't have time for my own children. Holidays weren't much better, I was in the house but still working 11 hour days . DH was bottom of my to-do list, which he understood but was a bit sad about.
Get a cleaner if you can, get DC to help out, sort online shopping, but you still won'thave enough time for your family.
If DH is whingeing about pulling his weight, that doesn't help, but if he did, he'd expect( or hope) you'd have a bit of time for him, whereas in fact you'll use up the freed up time to work more or sleep, or if you're very organized, with your own children.
I don't know any full time teachers with school age children and a partner who works full time, and I do know a lot of teachers. Sorry.