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Whether you're a permanent teacher, supply teacher or student teacher, you'll find others in the same situation on our Staffroom forum.

is this letter to former teacher too much?

18 replies

elisaveta · 30/07/2018 16:16

Just wanted to pick brains of teachers to see how you'd respond if you got this. I posted a while ago about how two teachers saw me through to being OK despite my mother emotionally and physically abusing us. I've written a book and dedicated it to one of them, with a bit in the acknowledgements about her teaching. But in the card I was going to explain why she mattered so much to me. But I don't want her to feel pressured or as if I'm likely to stalk her or anything. I left school 32 years ago, and have seen her only two or three times since then, although we occasionally send messages on FB. Is this OK or too much:

The part that I can’t put in the acknowledgements is that what I owe you is not just the way you taught us – though I’m so grateful for that, and mean every word of what I said about it. I loved your classes. But things were sometimes quite difficult at home as my mother suffers from severe and chronic mental illness, which saw her hospitalised every so often and also meant that she was furious with us for never being good enough to make up for everything that was wrong. At those times when she was hitting us or shouting about how awful we were, it helped so much that in school you were always so consistently kind and supportive. I’ve never known how to thank you for being the sort of person I needed back then. I do know that if you hadn’t been, I’d have found things far, far more difficult and that you are a big part of things turning out OK.

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Migrant2 · 30/07/2018 16:24

I’m a teacher and I would love to receive this! I’d probably cry, but in a good way. Please don’t hesitate, just send it today.

OldEnglishSheepDog · 30/07/2018 16:26

I would be incredibly touched and thrilled that I had made such a difference to someone. Flowers

Haberpop · 30/07/2018 16:32

Absolutely send it, I think the teachers I know would love to be recognised in this way.

Oscha · 30/07/2018 16:41

I’d sob, and treasure it ❤️

glasserator · 30/07/2018 16:46

I opened this thread thinking tat it WOULD be too much, but it absolutely isn't. It's lovely Smile

elisaveta · 30/07/2018 18:08

Thanks all - that's reassuring. I was an attention-seeking nuisance quite a bit of the time as a teenager, so nervous of falling into that role again!

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teewee · 30/07/2018 19:26

It's lovely, perfect and articulates exactly how you felt and the impact the teacher had

AtrociousCircumstance · 30/07/2018 19:29

She was an inspiration to you, and now you will be an inspiration to other young people, through your work.

Send it - it’s perfect Flowers

LuluJakey1 · 30/07/2018 19:30

I would feel really touched by that message and delighted that I had been able to help a child having a really difficult time. Most teachers do the job because they believe in children and want them to have the best opportunities possible in life,

worstmotherintheworld · 30/07/2018 19:32

I think it would be greatly appreciated and it would also do you good to say it as it obviously matters a great deal to you.

Notevilstepmother · 30/07/2018 19:39

Someone once said to me attention seeking children are children who need attention.

Your letter is lovely, it’s a privilege to be a teacher and to be able to help children grow and learn. I’m sure your teachers are proud of you for writing a book. I’d love a letter like that.

booellesmum · 30/07/2018 19:43

I am crying reading that. I'm sure she will be really touched and pleased to have made such a difference.

EvilTwins · 30/07/2018 19:43

I would love that.

I had a facebook message from an ex-student a few months ago saying something similar - she was in my 6th form class when a lot of nasty stuff, which had been brewing for years and had resulted in the suspicious death of her mother during her GCSEs, blew up. She contacted me to tell me that I helped her find the courage to finally report her father to the police and escape the awful conditions in which she and her two brothers were living. She said that she hadn't realised at the time what a difference that support made to her. I cried when I read it. Please do send it to your old teacher.

lotsofplanetshaveanorth · 30/07/2018 20:11

Attention seeking = unmet needs. Write the letters before it is too late

goldenlilliesdaffodillies · 30/07/2018 21:00

As a teacher I would love that. I often think about children I have taught and wonder how they have got on. It's great to find out how they are doing now, particularly if their life has been tough and they have managed to turn things around. Definitely send it!

elisaveta · 30/07/2018 23:47

Thank you all so much. You all sound like lovely teachers. evil - how wonderful that you were able to help that poor girl so much. And you're right worstmother - it sort of chafes that I've told her that she was a great teacher and I loved her subject, but never managed to say the rest which was the more important part. Thanks atrocious - I truly don't think that I've changed lives in the way the best teachers can, but when I think of the kindness I received I try to pass it on somehow if I can.

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FiestaThenSiesta · 30/07/2018 23:55

Not a teacher, just saw this in active... but I got choked up. That is just lovely. How wonderful to be told decades later that your kindness and support in your job mattered this much to another person. Very few of us get that in life, so please do shout it from the rooftops for those who deserve it

elisaveta · 31/07/2018 00:13

Thanks fiesta. Also you have one of the best usernames I've ever seen!

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