Lunch out

[Inatightsqueeze]

Yesterday one of the TAs posted a photo of (nearly all) the TAs having lunch out.
These are women I work closely with on a daily basis across school as I am HLTA. I am upset I didn't receive an invite and it makes me wonder what my place is in school.
I don't think that it's because of my job role as 2 others who attended are HLTA too.
Am I right to be upset and is there anything I can do about it?

It's the holidays, they are friends. Move on.

Thanks for that, these are i people I consider friends as well. Clearly I was wrong then.

Well, they possibly aren’t your friends. More likely it’s just a couple of people who organised it who didn’t want you to come. Perhaps the others were wondering why you weren’t there. I would be upset too. Don’t worry about it OP. Do you have other friends?
Get off Facebook is my advice. I enjoy life much more since I did.
Perhaps when you return in September, if you want friends at work, try to pick a small number of people that you really like/ feel you have something in common with, and cultivate friendship with them.

I totally understand why you are upset. for you

I deactivated my account last night for not just this reason. We'll just have to wait for September to roll around

There's nothing you can do about it. Although you could comment something along the lines of "Looks like fun, shame I wasn't invited"

It could just be an oversight. In which case you'd be invited next time. If you're not you'll realise these colleagues don't view you as a friend.

Is the opposite of another thread where someone works in a school but one person resents the fact that a others in a friendship group went out? Sorry if not.

Either way, if people are friends then they are entitled to go out as friends. It's their holidays. Not having a lunch date with colleagues in the holidays doesn't your place in school. It just means you are colleagues and work friends rather than friends out of work.

Sorry that's happened to you, it is hurtful when you get left out in situations like this. I would be inclined to leave a pleasant comment on the photo such as 'you all look fabulous! have a great summer everybody!'.
You might get responses that explain why you weren't included e.g. 'thanks Ina! we were celebrating the last day of term...did you know all our kids go to the same school?' or 'thanks Ina! it was very last minute but we're meeting again later in the summer, we'd love you to join us if you're free!'
If you don't get a response then it won't do any harm to have said something friendly and positive but at least you have a heads up that things might be not so great between you and the rest of the team.

Well, now you've deactivated your account you won't be invited out. Being in a friendship group takes a little work. I'm guessing you haven't put the work in over the school year.

Sorry if that sounds harsh. I do understand why you're upset.

I agree it's upsetting and hurtful. But there is literally nothing you can do apart from move on.

This isn't the only reason I've deactivated my account, but ok.

It makes me wonder what I've not put the effort into throughout the year. I am sociable, try not to engage in bitching and cultivate personal friendships. Not sure what else I can do.

I'd like to add that I've been in post for 9 years so not sure what else I can do

Also just occurred to me. Smaller groups go out regular and post photos. These don't bother me in the slightest as they are friends and friends go out.
But this outing was quite literally all support staff (of which I am one). The only member of support who wasn't there commented that she was sorry she couldn't make it. So that quite literally makes me the only one not invited.

I think you've genuinely been overlooked then. Are you particularly friendly with one person you could text to ask?

That sounds shit. Is there one of them to whom you are closer who maybe you could contact, arrange to meet for lunch and then try to find out why you were not invited? If you have been there 9 years have you been out with colleagues on other occasions?

In that case ( only you not invited) l’d have to find out what has happened!
You shouldn’t be feeling wretched over the summer break...
Go back to your Facebook and comment... l think you’ll be able to gauge the truth by their responses.

Ouch OP - that sucks, I’d Be hurt too. Any chance it was an oversight? So sorry if not.

I have been on other staff nights out.
I could text, but in my head any kind of question I pose sounds petty.

That is really crap behaviour on their part and I get the feeling that anyone saying get over it are exactly the sort of people who have never been left out of things and think it's ok to treat people like that. I would have to find out as it would bother me too much, is there a chance they don't know you've seen the Facebook post? You could text someone saying something like "So and so mentioned that we'd all be getting together for lunch at some point over the holidays, do you know when that will be?"

I think its really mean and no wonder you are upset. Would add the comment above: ye all look great, have a great Summer and see if there is a response.
But try not to let it ruin your holidays as they are too precious to waste thinking about this.
But you do have my sympathy.

I agree with the suggestions to ask one friendly person. I don't think it's ok actually in a workplace for all but one of a department to have a social event. Who is the line manager for you all, was he/she there?

I would feel like you OP. Hope when back at work things are OK.