Too strict?

[pineapple95]

KS2, currently Y3 but more experienced in y5/6. Maybe that's part of my problem.

I have been told by my head and (via him) that I'm 'too strict.' The school's ethos is more nurturing and friendly than I have been teaching. So, I've relaxed over the past few weeks.

Except that now, I have 7 or 8 kids coming up to me after every lesson intro asking what to do. I've literally just told them! I have half the class coming and showing me their work, when I've told them what they need to do next and said I will look at everyone's work later when I get to their table. This morning, 23 children happened to need the toilets between 11am and 12.00. I have to let them go. They now take on average 12 minutes (I timed it just for me over the last two weeks) to settle down for a lesson after drinking their water, finding a pencil, putting their hat away, sitting in their seat etc. It's maddening!

Before this 'too strict' thing, the children came into class, had a quick drink, got a pencil and their book and were ready for the lesson within a few minutes. They got changed and ready for PE in 5 minutes, not 15. They understood that handwriting was important and that they would have to do a piece of work again if they didn't try and do it properly the first time. Now, I can't read a lot of their writing.

I'm frightened of saying anything now, and in the past I've been a good teacher. obviously I'm not good now. I hate the way things are now.

Any advice?

It's a culture thing in my opinion and a ridiculous assumption in places that strict automatically means cold and uncaring.

It is perfectly possible to be strict and caring/nurturing/friendly.

Being picky with rules and harsh to students is a simple way to be negative and get negative relationships. If you were on and the children and they were compliant but you've lost that positibe relationships, the head may have poorly phrased their feedback and you need to just warm up a bit.

Having consistently high expectations, and bring strict and caring/ friendly / approachable is perfectly reasonable (and I'd hate to work in a school where that wasn't acceptable)

What have you changed in response to the “too strict” thing? Did they pick any specific examples of you being to strict or was it general feedback?

You can have high expectations for the children without being terrifying. It sounds like you’ve slipped too far the other way.

I also think it sounds like the word 'strict' is being used in different ways.

I think the Head was probably telling you that you were being a bit mean. Were you using a harsh tone of voice and spending a lot of time quite stony faced?

You can achieve good discipline and slick routines without being mean. You can insist on having things done in exactly the way you want, whilst remaining friendly, calm and kind.

It sounds like you think being less strict is about no longer having control and high expectations. I doubt that is what he meant.

Thank you for all your replies. You are right - I don't have to be 'strict' to be able to set expectations. After a couple of weeks, things are now much better. It's a tricky balance :)