I've been teaching for so long. I love the actual teaching but the stress and constant pressure is getting to me. I have reached a point where I'm wondering if it's not for me anymore.
My latest observation wasn't great. But I'm teaching a large class with wide ability ( from reception level to year 5 level) with no TA. Combine that with several children with severe behaviour issues and it's hell to manage. I agree with my feedback: it wasn't what they wanted. But I think it could never be, not with the resources I have.
This is combined with my kids: my daughter was upset and angry with me and says I'm.always working. She's right. I drop them at the childminders at silly o clock because I'm expected in by 7.45. I pick them up at 6 because of meetings, then carry on marking. Every book has to be marked every night. 96 books. Dd said to me "even on Saturday and Sunday you work and if you don't you think about it!" She's right.
I just think: what if? But I feel trapped. I'm 48, I've been teaching forever! My two are still young enough to need me in the holidays and as a single mum it's difficult to stump up for holiday childcare with no relatives to help. Would that cost make leaving too expensive?
Sorry for the long post. It's just that I've taught for so long I have no idea!