Is teaching just not right for me?

[Mijkl]

Started a PGCE (SD secondary) in September. I have been on the brink of quitting several times, due to workload (I have kids) and just feeling totally stressed by it all. To my surprise, in the interim assessment I was assessed as 'good' with expected outcome 'outstanding', which made working as a teacher seem more possible at the end of last term and gave me a bit of a boost. I've just started my new placement, which is rated Ofsted outstanding, so I was expecting it to be an improvement, but the behaviour is awful, much worse than in previous Ofsted good placement. I'm feeling as if there's just no point going on. Kids don't learn due to the behaviour, I don't see what I can achieve with them in 4 weeks with no context, apart from just surviving, and I can't imagine working in a school like this on a regular basis - but it's supposed to be outstanding (to be fair, some things about it are, just not the behaviour management!). I also really disagree with a lot of what I've learned about the way the education system works so far (I get the impression a lot of teachers disagree with the same stuff) and a lot of the time I'm not impressed with what I have to teach. I don't know what to do after the PGCE year - not to do NQt seems a waste, and there's a lot that I enjoy about teaching, but there are sooooooo many negatives as well. I don't want to find myself locked into something I hate and neglecting my own family for it. I'm going round and round in circles about this, and feel I have to make up my mind so I can plan for next year (jobs are coming up now in my area, or else I have to decide on what to do instead). Is it normal to feel this conflicted on a training year, or is it a sign that I won't enjoy teaching?

To be fair to the school, I think a lot of the behaviour issues are specific to the department. I worry that I might not be able to tell that a dept had these issues though, until I'd accepted a post.

Behaviour management is going to come with the job in most schools until you get a grip. Even established teachers can have a rough time in a new school, although they have the confidence that comes with experience to establish themselves fairly quickly.

I found it incredibly difficult because I'm short, slim, quietly spoken and not confrontational. However, over the years, I've got better at projecting my voice, building relationships fast and relentless application of behaviour management systems.

I stuck with it because I love teaching. Even now, I find it funny when I walk into a classroom and the kids hush. For me! But it comes to you if you're in a school for a little while and absolutely firm, fair and consistent. In some schools, it's harder than in others.

End of the day, if you aren't prepared to give it time and put the work in, you will struggle. If you want to teach, it's worth it. If you're not sure, give it a try. Be careful about the school (departments change faster than schools), but give yourself time. If you know teaching's not for you, get out. It's hard work if you love it. If you don't get anything back from the teaching, it sucks the life out you - I've seen that.