Parent complaint about teaching

[Phineyj]

I recently started teaching in an independent school (have always been state before). Last week a parent asked for a meeting and then read out to me a two page list of ways in which my teaching wasn't up to scratch. I've had two excellent observations since I started (including of the class the DC is in) and this is the first I knew of any issues her DC had with the lessons. Nor has the DC asked for any additional help outside lessons. I have taught the DC since September.

The most baffling thing was that everything the parent complained I was not doing, I am. It was basic stuff like giving notes, defining key terms, giving formative feedback on homework, etc. I know in my heart of hearts that there is nothing wrong with my teaching, marking, etc.

I am just wondering if anyone can advise me how I should best handle this with SLT. If I'd know the parent was likely to do this, I would have had someone from SLT at the meeting, but there was no indication it would be anything other than an informal catch up. DC is year 13 and wants to study my subject so it seemed reasonable to discuss progress if they wanted to.

Parent just kept repeating that I needed to teach like a Maths teacher (I don't teach Maths and my subject doesn't particularly lend itself to 'here's the method, now do some problems', which is what I think was meant).

I have worked in very academic schools before and parents do occasionally come in to complain but previously I have been able to at least see where they were coming from, even if it wasn't an issue I could do anything about (e.g. they want their DC to receive a higher UCAS prediction but the data doesn't support our doing that, etc).

I am a little worried that I am going to go in on Monday morning to find parent has been on the phone complaining about me...

Can you email slt today with a rundown of what the lather said and ask for their advice on what to do? How did the meeting end?
Sorry that this has happened. It’s always worse when it comes out of the blue.

Did they give you a list of their complaints in writing? I'd be tempted to send an email to them, copying in your head of year/head teacher, addressing each point in turn.

Or, if you prefer, send an email back to them with "minutes" of the meeting you had today - as in "You said this and I said this in reply", again copying in your superiors, so that there can be no "He said/she said" sort of scenario later, if the parent accepts your written version of what was said. Actually, when I have had meetings with the higher-up teachers at DS1's school, this IS what they have done - taken notes through the meeting, written them up and sent/given them to me to amend and/or accept as a true record of what was said. That way, later, there is no comeback (on either side).

It wasn't acrimonious exactly - it was just hard to think how to agree on next steps when I couldn't find an actual issue and parent appeared to just want to berate me and not discuss anything.

I did email the head of section immediately after the meeting to say it had been a bit fraught, unexpectedly, and he asked me to send bullet points of what was raised, so I did that.

I don't think I'd better email the parent directly as a few times during the meeting (which the DC was present at) I summarised things back to them that they'd said and the response was 'that wasn't what we said at all!'

Having reflected on it quite a bit I believe the subtext was I) I teach differently to last year's teacher 2) I have given DC some marks that were not A and and 3) I am requiring DC to think for itself and this is unacceptable! (sorry about gender-neutral pronouns).

Wow, what a pain in the arse parent. It is really annoying to have someone lie about things that you are or aren't doing and tempting to do a point-by-point rebuttal, but that can often be futile as they're not actually interested in anything other than them being right and you being wrong (see: arguing on the internet).

It would be really helpful if your line manager could reply to the parent saying something bland like 'thank you for your feedback, please be assured that we have taken it on board and have every confidence in the teaching of Phiney through our own, robust performance criteria' and just try to shut them down instead of getting into a protracted discussion about whether you're any good or not.

But as it's private, I get the impression that they pander to parents far more.

Huh, does sound rather like a case of parent being a bit ticked off that their angel wasn't getting straight As throughout then!
Glad you've emailed it upwards already - and yes, under those circs, I don't think I'd email the parents back either.

Yes, I think that's a good idea noble. My line manager is lovely. From what I've seen the SLT are all very good with parents: very charming and respectful but with a good grip on what actually matters. That was why I was annoyed to get blindsided into this meeting. It would have been much better to make it more formal with SLT there. I was a bit worried about this aspect of moving to independent, but you can have grumpy parents in all types of school. I would not dream of telling my DD's teacher how to do her job and I am struggling to imagine either of my DPs doing it back in the day either. Different times!

ThumbWitch it does seem the most likely explanation. It's not unusual for things to get tough in year 13 of linear courses, even for able students though, is it? I don't think parents are aware of how demanding the new courses are in terms of content.

This happened to me two years ago. It was the lowest point of my 23 year career. I knew about the 'file of complaints' meeting in advance and begged my HOD to attend the meeting with me but she refused saying she thought it would escalate things. In the end I walked out of the meeting and the HOD had to intervene anyhow. It was awful. I'm still not over it. But my HOD did obviously stick up for me and it did blow over. The mother actually ended up in tears too. All because I had set an extra homework for her child for not stopping talking in class. Ridiculous. Insist on support from SLT- it's their job.

Thanks Cleebope2 and I am sorry that that happened to you. I had a HOD a bit like that last year. Frankly, people in leadership roles are paid the extra precisely because it is their job to support the classroom staff when things get sticky!

I do not know why parents think that a combative approach will help as teaching can only succeed if there are good relationships and nothing affects a relationship like storming in to a situation that you are not directly a part of!

I imagine that happens a lot in private schools. You are always going to get some arseholes think they know better because they are paying. You sound like an excellent teacher - roll your eyes. Continue doing what you are doing because you are the one with the qualifications and experience and if they don't like it direct them to the head who can tell them to take their money elsewhere!

Phineyj - I'm afrid that it can be like this teaching in the independent sector. Some parents feel that because they pay bills, they are your employer, and it take a strong SLT to set them right. Given the current economic climate, many are not willing to do so.

A parent recently complained about the way I had marked their child's exam paper. Bugger the fact that I'm a very experienced external GCSE and A level examiner, and a Team Leader. No, they knew better than me

*takes

I actually feel better that other people get this. That must have been very annoying though MrsL.

It's funny though, I pay my builder's bills and I never, ever tell him how to do his job. Because I don't know how to do his job. It did get a bit bizarre discussing my very specific subject with someone who did not know anything about the subject yet wanted to give detailed feedback on how to teach it.

Also I really like discussing how best to teach my subject. But not from a premise that I'm doing it all wrong.

I used to teach indie. Basically, I'd have discussed this with my HoD and then basically ignored it. Just keep your eye on that kid.

Welcome to the Independent sector. My DH is DH Academic of a public school and spends a fair bit of his time dealing with this sort of thing. I listened to him talk to an outraged parent for over an hour, on a Sunday evening, on his mobile about the fact that a HOD had arranged a school trip for a day the parent didn't approve of. Parent genuinely thought a trip for 40 kids would be rearranged on his say so.

TBH Phineyj, the parent's complaint was so utterly ridiculous that it didn't worry me and I just laughed to myself at his arrogance. Lots of people think that they know how to teach because, hey, they were school pupils once. See every Secretary of State for Education ever. I cherish the memory of Stephen Dawkins taking the stuffed body of the Secretary of State for Education to his desert island as the luxury item. He said it didn't matter who the current incumbent was; they were all equally useless

Glad to hear the thread has cheered you up.

All is serene(ish). The head of the year group was sympathetic and suggested some sensible things we could do to mitigate any problems. I apologised for not having given out more notes this term (that was one of the complaints) and he said hahaha I don't give out notes, they should write their own. I think we're going to get along.

Lowdoor I am about that one.

MrsL, it's just occurred to me (teaching is my third career) that I've picked three areas that everyone thinks they know how to do. I won't say what the other two were, as too outing, but if the parents drive me out of education, I really must pick something very niche next time!