Coping with the transition to SLT

[voxnihili]

Hi

I'm not sure whether I would like advice, or just to know others have felt the same but I have no one in real life who would understand so thought I would try here.

I have fairly recently joined SLT and am really enjoying the challenge of the job and hope to become a headteacher eventually. I am however starting to regret staying at the same school.

I've always been one of the more sociable members of staff but that has had to change. I had some really close friends who I feel that I've lost - a combination of me having some personal difficulties and it not seeming appropriate to share them now and there being quite a lot of discontent at work. I largely share the same views as those who were my friends but obviously cannot share that with them.

Just wondering really if anyone else found it a difficult change? How did you cope with it? I can see the benefits of not having friends amongst staff but I am finding it incredibly lonely. It is probably not helped by me not really having many friends outside of work (please don't tell me to just find some - if only it were that simple!).

Thanks

It will always be and was ever thus: it’s lonely at the top.

Sorry that’s coming as a surprise to you.

I just didn't consider it to be honest, although it wouldn't have changed my mind about applying. I was stupid enough to think that we'd be able to maintain the friendships and just leave out the bits that might conflict with work. I might be new to leadership but I'm not naïve enough to think that a conversation between friends would stay between friends. I suppose I just need to get used to it - was feeling quite down yesterday at the prospect of another weekend alone, knowing my friends were all out for Christmas lunch.

I transitioned to SLT at the same school and I think you have to accept that relationships will change. I have stayed close with one or two teachers that I have been friends with for a long time and who I have things in common with outside of work, but it is different with everyone else. Don't take it personally.

What are the rest of SLT like? We all get on very well at my school and that makes it easier.

The rest of SLT are nice and we get on well. We're a diverse bunch though who have little in common outside of work so don't socialise. I know it is nothing personal but it still hurts when I think how close a small group of us were and how quickly I've been dropped.

I realise I probably sound quite pathetic - I'm honestly not like this at work!

I found doing NPQSL really helped in this situation. We were all coping with being isolated at our level in school, so having other people in the same position to talk to was invaluable. I'm not convinced that the course content has made that much difference to me, but having agroup of 5 of us who still get together once a term, 3 years after we finished, has been invaluable.