DD's Speech Is Driving Me Mad!

[User45632874]

Hi, Just trying to gauge what is usual.

I realise I am posting in staffroom (have also posted in teens) about DD (age 11) who is at secondary school but thought it might be useful to get some teacher feedback on this one.
Minor in the great scheme of things I know but dd's use of language (apart from a noticeable increase in swearing since starting secondary school), is driving me mad!
I'm not perfect myself but DD describes events along the lines of the following:
"Sarah's been on the phone and she is 'like' so lucky to be getting a new dog."
"She rang me up and told me and I 'went' yeah, I'd love one of those too and she went, well ask your mum."
Obviously these are fictitious conversations but each event that dd relays is absolutely full of 'likes' and people 'went' and not said things and this drives me utterly mad. It is lovely that dd talks about her day etc. and I realise this is no mean feat for a pre-teen but I find myself constantly trying to correct her. I read and write a lot and I refer to this type of speaking as slang, though I have heard grown adults speak like this and on television too. DH says most children speak like this nowadays so perhaps I am just behind the times but in my opinion it does not come across well and dd sometimes sounds as if she is gabbling and the likes are perhaps a type of hesitancy. Whichever way, I seem unable to break the cycle and it feels awful interrupting her - I am afraid she will not want to talk to me if I continue! DD is an intelligent girl and attends a very good grammar school and I can't quite understand why she chooses to speak like this - can anyone advise? I even thought about approaching the school if it is a universal problem, I am uncertain why it grates so much and there is probably little the school would want/could do anyway but I thought I would run it pass someone, I guess I want dd to present herself in the best possible light for her future.

'Like' is pretty much 'um' - yes, it’s filler, and no child is going to use it in written work (unless in direct speech, in which case good work, nicely observed). DD is 13 and uses it a lot, and while I do sometimes wish I could delete it from her speech, I wouldn’t correct it. In fact my dad commented on it today (not in front of DD) and my gut response was that it would be counterproductive to try to correct it. I have a perfectly articulate adult friend who uses ‘you know?’ a lot, it’s actually quite infuriating when I inadvertently tune into it, but would I ‘correct’ it? No - definitely a recipe for someone not speaking to you again if they can help it.

She’s a bright girl, articulate in other ways, and she writes well, so I think it’ll calm down in time. Code switching is harder between modes of speech than between written and spoken language. It makes sense that an older pre-teen or young teen will chose the mode that gets them accepted by peers while making mum roll her eyes, rather than the one that makes everyone say she's 'posh' (while getting no praise from parents or teachers, who generally don’t tend to notice kids NOT talking like kids).

However OP if she gabbles, you could ask her to slow down? You can blame that on yourself (sweetie, can you slow down, I’m having trouble understanding you), and it might result in less filler.

My ds's yr3 teacher used excessive "like" and "you know", when she was talking, and used to make me nuts. She was lovely otherwise. I don't think it's just teenagers.

I'd hate to be that teacher taking minutes off play for 'like's. Great way to knock children's confidence.

I know someone who developed a minor speech impediment after spending three years in primary with a teacher who would shout "UM!" every time she said it. I'd like to find that teacher and give them a slow-clap.

I'd correct it in written work, or if they were giving a presentation, but policing informal speech fortunately isn't my job.