private teacher/state parent guilt

[tinypop4]

I'm probably being silly and I'm perfectly happy to hear so! I'm just about to start a job in a private 3-18 school - am a teacher of an arts subject. I'm secondary but have been allocated a day of my timetable to provide my subject to the junior school - I've planned what I think is a really good programme for them, as I am a specialist teacher, and the school have provided me with a good amount of money for new resources. The head offers a 50% discount to staff for their children - my DD is about to start reception but I declined to send her on the basis that I think the reception class is too small (only 6), and she was keen to go to the local infants school with her friends from nursery class.
The school has an outstanding ofsted, we liked it when we visited and it is a 10 minute walk from our home. It seems like a great school, the classes are the usual 30 students. I do know, however, that they do not have the budget to provide specialist teaching in arts subjects or languages and the students do not get this entitlement as part of their education.

I suddenly feel quite guilty that I am busy preparing a great programme of something for other people's children, and have declined the opportunity for my own DD to attend and get this. Have I done the wrong thing? Do any other parents in private schools send their children to state schools ?

I just feel like I am snacking my head against a wall here. It's like hearing a chorus of it was good enough for me, I turned out fine. Do you never wonder what could have been, what you could have been if you had had those opportunities. The best of course there is the ethical argument against abusing the system. You British are so entitled in this respect and what do you have to show for it? The worst healthcare system in the first world (ok, on par with Poland), an education sector that instead of breaking down class barriers and giving the poorest a leg up actively encourages it through the use of geographical and religious boundaries, a population of professionals that is worked to death to supper a vast underclass. I just don't understand how you don't see it. How can you look at the graduates of private schools and not see their privilege? How can you not look at yourselves (and the cost of services you claim from the tax payer) and not feel ashamed?

OH dear

Let me tell you o have cousins who've been through the private sectors

2 are working for a pub chain as waitresses
2 others work for their father

None own their own homes

None have successful marriages

2 are single parents

One has several children via different mothers

One has a drink problem

No all privately educated people are changing the world

We were raised in a council house to a single parent of 4
All have careers 2 have degrees
All own our own homes
All (except the youngest) are married 15 years plus

Get off you high horse

Not feeding the GF.

Tinypop. You've made the right decision, don't second guess yourself. 6 in a Reception Class isn't good. (Why is it so small?).

You aren't depriving DD of what you are preparing for the other children, you can easily provide that for her out of school. There might be things she'll miss out on that she'd get at your school, but she will get other things she'd miss out on there (like friends!). There's nothing to stop you moving her at any stage, so no need worry about it.

Just enjoy her being excited to start at the 'Big school' with all her friends 😊

That's a tiny class in reception. It doesn't sound as if the school will be economically viable going forward anyway with those low numbers. Keep her where she is until you know how happy you are.

they don't stop there, they teach children everything. They teach them how to eat properly, how to dress, how to speak

Ttbb, I'm sure OP is more than capable of teaching her DD these things!

P.S. you're coming across as unhinged at best.

Thank you everyone for your thoughts- as many say I can move her later if I feel it necessary. I don't know why reception is so small - numbers are better from year 2 onwards but reception and year 1 are tiny for some reason.
Tbtt - don't fret, I have taught my dd how to get dressed, speak and eat and she's pretty good at these things at almost 5 . She's also well behaved, can read well already, do simple maths with her dad and she takes grade 1 piano in November so 'dim' she is not. Wherever she goes to school she is a wonderful child with supportive parents who will support her learning every step of the way.
She loves her friends and is excited about going to school with them - all her friends will live nearby which I think is a great benefit in many ways.
I feel much less guilty now I've read your ridiculous rant!

Ttbb the fact you can't spell prime minister and think something's a "Shane" makes me question the effectiveness of your amazing private education.

I went to a sink state school and now educate others at an independent.

The systems are not as binary as you make out GF

It's more about the child than the school I think! I don't know anyone privately educated who is doing better than average right now. Me and my siblings out performed every single one of my 9 cousins who went to private schools, and none of them are in professional jobs. The only one who I'd say truly benefitted was dyslexic and received a lot of 1:1 support. Your DD will benefit from your expertise at home and will grow up more balanced with a wider social circle and as you said could always switch later if it's right for her.

My DD is at a small Private school, she joined in year 6
There are quite a few children in her year who have parents who are teachers and I am quite friendly with one of them. She made the decision to only send her DD in year 6 as she didn't want her to be at the same school from age 4 - 16 having seen the possible negative effects of this on other children. Our decision for DD to go to our local State Primary was also partly based on this
Our DD did really well at Primary and continues to do so at Secondary
Unless the State Primary is bad Or logistically difficult I would send your DD there. The beauty of most Private schools is that in many cases you can move to them at any point if you change your mind

Makes me laugh that a person who's life could have been so different if she'd have grew up in the "communist hell hole" is basically slating our education system, healthcare and seems to have a massive ( chunky size ) chip on her shoulder.

Instead of worrying about how others have done from your former state school, maybe have a think to how your peers in the homeland would have fared. And then shut up.

Op you're doing the right thing, take no notice of the bridge dweller.

tinypop if your daughter is about to take grade 1 at the age of 5, she's clearly not missing out on opportunity on the musical front! An outstanding state school plus a parent who has the ability to provide great opportunities outside school is a fabulous combination.