Dreading going back to school

[mindovermatter91]

Hi all,

I've lurked around but not posted here before, but everyone seemed so nice, so I thought I would ask.

I have been working as an RQT in a touch secondary school, and since starting it has felt like one awful incident after another. I have had a lot of bereavement in my immediate family and now my lovely, kind husband is even at the end of his tether with how to support me. I have stopped working on hobbies and seeing friends and started over eating.

I was trying to keep my head down and just get on with it until I could resign. My HoD is brilliant and really supportive and basically tried everything to stop me from leaving (and I know this sounds absolutely ridiculous) but in a moment of brief respite from my feelings, I felt like I had to show SLT I was capable as I had heard their comments about mental illness and those who just needed to learn to 'get on with it'. I think deep down what had actually made me feel uplifted was the knowledge that I would soon be leaving, but hindsight is a glorious thing.

I am a hard worker and have always given everything to whatever I have put myself forward for but I am tired and defeated and through working ridiculous hours to honour ridiculous demands, have found my limit.

The thought of going back has overwhelmed my thoughts since we broke up for the summer holidays. I spoke to my line manager who told me to just suck it and see, but for the sake of my mind and my marriage, I don't think I can step foot in the door without breaking down.

Does anyone have any advice? It feels like there's no way out at the moment. I don't want to let anyone down, but I feel like I am, no matter what I choose.

Go to your GP and get signed off with stress. You can't live like this.

The person you have got to concentrate on is you. Not your line manager.

I agree that you sound extremely stressed and anxious. Get signed off, then take that time to seek out the help you need and to carefully consider all your options without feeling rushed into a decision.

High stress levels come with the territory of teaching and classroom related jobs. I am not a teacher, but I am the child of two of them. I have saw some of the effects of this on my parents before they retired.

Do what is right for you and your DH.

I have seen, not have saw!! My grammar isn't that bad, honestly

Thank you both for your replies and kind words. Do I need to send a letter of resignation to the HT? Or just see my GP? I feel like they would prefer to know now and send me on my way, than me wait for September. I'm so worried that they'll give me a poor reference for any job I take on next, nevermind teaching. I want to do the right thing by the kids - I don't want them to get attached to me, only for me to leave. That thought keeps going over in my head.

I would speak to them both.

Get signed off with stress and hand in your notice - honestly, it is not worth making yourself ill over.

Don't make a decision today. Get signed off then think about what to do next there's no rush.

You need to leave and find a school where you can be happy.

I would suggest going to your GP and getting signed off. Then hand your notice in for Christmas.

After that I would do two terms of supply while you have a think about what you want for the following year. Consider a change of sector- Independent or Special? Maybe even Primary? Try to get supply time in other types of setting to see what fits.

I trained for Secondary Science and hated it. Switched to Primary and hated that- at which point I assumed I was just not in the right career. Then I found Special and have been really happy for the past 12 years. I am looking forward to going back in September! Don't write teaching off, but this job is not right for you.

Thanks all for your kind and helpful messages - you've made today a little easier for me. I'll see the GP tomorrow.

I have spoken to the GP and union. My GO wasn't available so I spoke to a new doctor who kind of wanted to hurry the situation along as there was a big queue in the waiting room. I told him about my work situation and he asked if they had done anything to help. He said I should go in for my meeting with the HT and talk about medications from there. I feel like I've been left in limbo as nothing has actually been done. 😞

Right make an appointment and go back. You need to be direct and ask to be signed off due to stress. You don't need to do this until you are due to go back. Tell the doctor you are happy to engage with ot but need some time off to recharge.
I think your jumping the gun. I wouldn't resign yet. You don't need too. It's the summer hols so why ask for a note now?

I want to resign because they've handed me more work than I'm able to cope with for the next academic year, and it's the cherry on the cake really. I just can't do it any more.

The union said to send a letter to the HT so I can put it to bed and 'enjoy' the holiday. I went to the doctor for some advice on medicines etc. I won't go for a sick note until the end of the holidays.

I think the union rep has the right idea. Being in limbo is horrible because you keep going over things. If you send the letter I think you will feel a tremendous sense of relief.

Well write the letter and tell them you intend to have a sick note for the period of your notice then get one just before you go back. It will be ok I promise.