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Whether you're a permanent teacher, supply teacher or student teacher, you'll find others in the same situation on our Staffroom forum.

Original poster

Really rude child. Mother a governor!

58 replies

avocadosripe · 17/05/2017 16:55

The problem is, I'm going to struggle to communicate what this girl 'does' (you, fellow teachers will doubtless understand.) Year 8.

  • buries head in arms on the desk, hair falling all around her. I say her name. Sophie? SOPHIE? She then slowly, reluctantly, sits up. Big groan. 'Whaaaaaaa?' 'Sit up, please.' 'UGH!'
  • turns around and giggles whenever I say anything. I mean anything. 'Sophie, have you made a start?' Turn round in seat, makes eye contact with Anna or Phoebe or Emily. Snigger, snigger, splutter, snigger. 'Sophie, turn round please.' UGH! again.
  • invents illnesses - 'I feel sick / I have a headache / my stomach hurts / but miiiiiiss I feel siiiiiick.'
  • even little things cause a mini tantrum - flings her pen down, snorts, rolls her eyes, does a mini Kevin the teenager thing with arms, tuts.

So, anyway, I got fed up today and I've decided to ring home. But mum is a governor ...

OP posts:
EweAreHere · 17/05/2017 17:23

There are 'those' students in my class, too. Unfortunately, they really are taking their cues from their parents who are belligerent and in complete denial that their little darlings every do anything wrong ... but if they do, then it's obviously someone else's fault.

PaleAzureofSummer · 17/05/2017 17:25

I'd tell the parents about her saying she can get you sacked. What a little horror.

Original poster
avocadosripe · 17/05/2017 17:25

It's so annoying. I am generally unfailingly polite but even when I ask her nicely to do something (today it was 'Sophie, please don't crackle the water bottle when I'm speaking.') she tuts, bangs her elbow/pen/bottle down, gives a huge exaggerated sigh and stares sulkily out of the window.

OP posts:
Original poster
avocadosripe · 17/05/2017 17:26

Tbf summer it's her friends saying that, not her. She's threatened me with "I'll tell me mum of you!" ("Sophie, you need to put those books away." - unreasonable cow that I am!) but never told me in so many words she could get me sacked. I suspect she may have said so to her mates though.

OP posts:
OddBoots · 17/05/2017 17:26

tissuesosoft "They don't interact with any staff members below SLT level so actually have no idea about what goes on in the school from the ground level"

I find it really interesting you say that, I have been a governor for nearly 3 years and I am only now starting to feel confident in speaking to staff other than my linked SLT. I have wanted to chat with them but when I first introduced myself they looked so wary of me and like they wanted to get away as soon as possible and I didn't want to make them any more uncomfortable. I am hoping that after 3 years they have now come to see that I am there because I want to support the school, I appreciate what a difficult job they have to do. If you have any advice for me I would welcome it with open arms.

PaleAzureofSummer · 17/05/2017 17:27

She's probably the same at home so it shouldn't come as a total shock.

Blossomdeary · 17/05/2017 17:37

Governors are there to decide the strategic direction of the school not to make teachers' lives difficult if their own child is behaving badly.

There are policies there about these things, precisely so that the approach can be objective.

Why not talk to the head and tell him/her the problems and your reluctance to address them with the mother. Presumably he/she is your line manager and part of the process for dealing with this. I have little doubt that the head will tell you to deal with it as you would with any child, governor parent or not.

Governors have a strategic role - they are not involved in any way at all in the day to day matters which are very clearly the responsibility of the head and staff.

It is part of your job to deal with discipline in the classroom - if this child is undermining it, then you must take the same steps as you would do with any child. Governors are not arbiters of what goes on in the classroom - they are there to ensure the school is financially viable, that the policies are implemented diligently and to scrutinise academic results.

Some parent governors join in the mistaken idea that it gives them clout over the day-to-day running and an opportunity to pursue their own hobby-horse - they soon find out that they are mistaken.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 17/05/2017 17:40

Big smile-"Sophie, it's I'm going to tell MY mum about you and maybe a conversation about your behaviour might be valuable, so I think I'll ring her"
Follow behaviour policy to the letter, rigorously and across the board.
Rejig your seating plan-if she is out of eyeline of her chums she has no audience.
I once got told that too. I smiled and said "I'll mention it tonight in the meeting"

hoddtastic · 17/05/2017 17:45

she shouldn't be allowed to bully you, you are in the right- and even if she and her mates think they can get you sacked (or even her parents to a degree) you know that they can't?

I am a governor, i know the teaching staff, i know the SLT. My kids are treated exactly the same as all the others (we've never had a big part in an assembly or a play as they aren't that way inclined) they are both on school sports teams because they are sporty, i'd be mortified if anyone thought that my giving up my own time to support a school was causing my kids to get special treatment.

Original poster
avocadosripe · 17/05/2017 18:07

The head isn't my line manager - gosh! I don't think she's bullying me. Obviously , her mum cant get me sacked no one else would do my job anyway but it's just so annoying.

OP posts:
mousymary · 17/05/2017 18:18

I do admit that some parent governors are a bit... self important, and I've seen a few over the years. They are also extremely keen to get involved in issues such as sweatshirt design and less interested in looking at data (mind you, the data Shock ). Anyway, some do seem to think they are parent representatives and not representative of the parents.

hoddtastic · 17/05/2017 18:21

I think the kid thinks she's got something on you, which is why she's playing up. I'd have no qualms in informing her that she didn't and that her mum was irrelevant to your job, and that you'd be speaking to her. And i'd say it in front of her friends, so they weren't under any illusions about it either.

Original poster
avocadosripe · 17/05/2017 18:26

Oh, I have - it's just a defence thing (from them.) Annoying though. She'll look back and cringe I bet!

OP posts:
DavidPuddy · 17/05/2017 18:50

Why don't you do this woman the favour of not assuming her reactions before you have had a chance to have the discussion. Present it neutrally as though you expect her to be on your side and most likely she will react accordingly. If you present it as though you expect her to be difficult and defensive then she probably will be.

Original poster
avocadosripe · 17/05/2017 18:51

Yes, will do, David, but I'm just sharing my anxieties with my fellow teachers :)

OP posts:
MaisyPops · 17/05/2017 18:59

Know exactly what type of attitude you're describing. I've had one every year but without the governor link. Sort of 'uh your very existence is getting in my nerves and you trying to teach me is getting in the way of girl drama' (and yes, it's an attitude that seems to be exclusive to girls of that age).

Speak to other colleagues about what home is like.Most parents will want to know, governor or not.

If you call keep it factual and on that she's not meeting your expectations, rather than listing all the 'small' things she does. E.g. Sarah could be very good at x y z but I expect this in my classroom and she repeatedly falls short. Obviously it was quite peculiar to have her allude to the fact that you could get me sacked. I'm sure you'd rather have a heads up before this becomes a significant issue as we all want her to do well.

YoniFucker · 17/05/2017 19:09

@OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow

Big smile-"Sophie, it's I'm going to tell MY mum about you and maybe a conversation about your behaviour might be valuable, so I think I'll ring her"

I love this idea!

Iamastonished · 17/05/2017 19:15

“Ex-governor here too. I would be mortified if my child was behaving like that and even more mortified if the teacher was not bringing it to my attention”

Same here. Governors are absolutely not allowed to bring any personal issues into GB meetings, and she would have no influence. I would talk to the head of year, or the behaviour manager, if the school has one and see if they can talk to disruptive student.

Goodgriefisitginfizzoclock · 17/05/2017 21:59

Governor here, yes I would like to know and yes would be mortified.
Earlier up the thread 'no sympathy for time spent for little renumeration? 'Take that as no money ! I currently spend an average of 10-12 hours per month in meetings, more when interview panels being held, Disciplinary and exclusion and reading updates and guidance (safeguarding/CLA nominated governor.) spent 3 hours in complaint against school meeting this morning when I could have been in work getting paid! I'm not saying for a medal, my choice I know but 'no sympathy' was harsh

tissuesosoft · 17/05/2017 22:07

The thing is goodgrief you know it's a voluntary role when you choose to be put forward to be elected. I didn't say I had no sympathy for governors in general, mainly the ones in my school where they ignore staff where we've tried to openly engage and work with them. We're all aiming for the end goal and that is to keep the school running.

lougle · 17/05/2017 22:17

"mousymary

dh is a governor. A very senior one at that."

There is no such thing. I'm Chair of Governors at my school. I'm no more senior than any other Governor - we hold collective responsibility for the governance of the school, it just happens that I hold the position of chair and have certain responsibilities.

Goodgriefisitginfizzoclock · 17/05/2017 22:40

Sad that your governors not engaging with all staff? If you want to know the impact decisions are having you need to ask I include students in that! I make a point of keeping in regular touch with my subject links talk to students whenever I am in. As you know we shouldn't involve ourselves in day to day running but it's essential to know first hand impacts and challenges faced. If we just accept what the head/SLT feed us in meetings we are just ticking boxes surely ? If this was the case in our school I would want no part in it paid or otherwise. Do you have any staff governors! We have at least one teaching and one support, elected by staff.

NotHotDogMum · 18/05/2017 07:03

Perhaps the mother will have a positive attitude to your conversation with you, she may be dealing with her DD's bad attitude at home as well and you talking to her will result in some action being taken by the parents?

Just because the DD and friends are threatening you with her being a governor, does not mean the mum would actually try to throw her weight around.

Hopefully...

mousymary · 18/05/2017 07:42

lougle... he has served for a long time. Plus his clout I think is probably more than the parent governor who joined three weeks ago.

There does seem to be a bit of animosity towards governors on here from some. I did feel this when I first started out. I had a "link" subject and went along to meet the teacher concerned. She was rather hostile and asked me as I wasn't a teacher what qualified me to judge her. I wasn't there to judge! I was there to learn about the teaching of the subject. And she had no idea what my background or job was at all... The trouble is schools have a churn of staff and governors and it is I suppose a bore to keep telling newcomers what governors do and are for and they're not spies.

lougle · 18/05/2017 07:54

mousymary I'm just saying that length of service doesn't give you seniority, and neither does any position you hold on the Governing Body. You all hold a vote of 'one' in any ballot, with the exception of the Chair, who holds a vote of 'two' in the event of a split vote. So there is no 'clout', and nor should there be, in any governing body, because the parent governor who has been a governor for three weeks should be given as much voice at the table as any other governor, and a good governing body will do everything they can to make sure that their voice is heard, whilst at the same time gently pointing out of things are not suitable for governing body discussion (i.e. operational matters).