Teacher being a bit OTT

[wonderstuff100]

Can I get you opinions on son's teacher please?I'm a teacher myself hence why I'm posting on here.

He's just moved into year 3 and has had repeated reports of being rude and interrupting. Having spoken directly to the teacher this week it seems he speaks to other kids on the carpet when she is and therefore gets warnings. I've told him this is unacceptable many times and it needs to stop,he doesn't seem to be reacting to having 3 mins of playtime taken off him (he told me it doesn't bother him) so I've started to confiscate stuff at home. We're on day 2 of a behaviour book,yesterday was daily good,today not so great.

The thing is,I can't help feeling this teacher is blowing things out of proportion. Yes he's interrupting and it's annoying,but is it serious enough to warrant constant comments? I'm starting to feel she's got it in for him and maybe she needs to use a different strategy for him that just moving down the rainbow and taking minutes off break as he doesn't care. Today,his report was he'd lost some of break for shouting out,so that was before 10.45 and when i aske him if he'd moved back up the rainbow,he said no. So either hes misbehaving so badly all day,thay his warning stays or hes being disruptive but then getting on witg his work,but the warning stays in place. Ive always told the kids I give warnings to that they can redeem themselves,and most of the time they do. I get the feeling hes not been given that chance. I'm also struggling with something she said at the end of our meeting which was that she didn't know what he was like for the PPA teacher,but he "probably wasn't good" were her words. That just screams to me that she's made her mind up about him.

I did speak to her at the start of the year about my suspicions that he was dyspraxic and the SENCO agreed and hes just waiting for an observation. This again,doesnt seem to be taken into consideration. Ok he's not been diagnosed,but two teachers have raised the issue that he finds listening and processing instructions hard,surely she should be taking that into account?

C'mon then,have I become one of THOSE parents?! Please say no!

Dyspraxia affects lots of areas. It isn't just about co ordination, it affects concentration, processing, social maturity, fidgetting, self esteem and much much more. Many kids are disengaged by year three from the education system.

I would expect lots of opportunity and encouragement for him to redeem himself after an incident and punishment.

If it is constant negativity he won't bother.

Wonderstuff the forgetting stuff sounds familiar. It is to do with difficulties in processing and planning.

lightsandresistance can you explain a bit further

My dd has problems with memory and processing and planning.

So sometimes she simply forgets.
Other times by the time the teacher has got to the end of the instructions dd hasn't mentally processed the first bit the teacher has said so she ends up with chunks of information missing.
She also struggles with planning.

So for dd rather than give her a huge batch of instructions verbally in one go they break instructions down into steps on a sheet for her.

Areas affected

Yep,mines exactly the same. You can't give him more than one instruction at a time

We also did a workshop and many children with Dyspraxia have sensory issues. So the classroom noise is very loud and distracting. We did a session where you experienced what it was like for the kids and it was awful.

Interesting. The more things you mention/I read,the more I become convinced. His self esteem has also been low for years.

Having said that,I just spoke to him about his report today and he said he knew he shouldn't have been interrupting. So he's well aware,he just can't help himself.

Mine knows too but it is impulsive.

I read a good blog. Will try to find it.

It uses a bottle of fizzy pop as an example of how much effort it takes for a Dyspraxic child to sit in class each day. Each incident gives 'the bottle' a little shake until it explodes.

Check out this group

m.facebook.com/groups/218654198160192?tsid=0.21652610264074934&source=typeahead it saved us.

Thanks lightsandresistance,much appreciated.

Can I just ask how you want about getting your child confirmed as dyspraxic? The school have informed me it may be a long and hard road.

wonderstuff - has your school ever thought about having a school-wide behaviour policy with similar strategies, rewards and consequences in each class (changing to take into consideration the age of the year group)?

We hit lucky after a long time.

I had been going to school for years and even the GP because I knew something wasn't right but not getting anywhere. Dd was plodding along in class middle of the road and so no one wanted to know as she wasn't the bottom nor the top. She never got star of the week or merits which made it worse.

But the older dd got the worse her self esteem got. By year 5 she was rock bottom and started exploding at home despite previously being such a good girl. She was calling herself thick and stupid and hitting out.
We had a useless senco at school and no one would help us.

I ended up in the gp room crying as it was horrendous with a huge list of why I was concerned. The gp was a locum and referred us to a paediatrician who saw us quickly and was brilliant. He assessed her there and then and diagnosed her himself before referring to occupational health even though technically they should have assessed her and gave us a letter to get help in place at school. School brought in the education team to assess her and help snowballed from there.

She is doing brilliantly now and on track to get nothing below a C but mostly Bs and some As from being very far behind and the meltdowns have stopped.

She has coloured overlays, extra time to process, instructions in steps and masses of praise.

Sorry that was long!

How is your ds at reading? I have taught children with dyslexia who find it difficult to hold in what they want to say so burst out often interrupting conversations. I know a lot of difficulties can be similar. Needing one instruction at a time also relates to dyslexia. I think if the teacher knows he is queried dyspraxia she could be more patient with him.

Gosh I could have written that post myself. He's in the middle too,a bright boy I've been told and can see that. But also never gets picked for star of the week etd,it's like he just gets overlooked for everything.

My new GP seem fairly good and had asked for school to do an observation report but told me to go back if theres any problems.So whilst I'm waiting for that observataion to happen,if his behaviour doesn't improve,I may go back and ask for a referral asap as his behaviour may be due to possible dyspraxia

I don't know anything about dyspraxia. If you decide it's not that...
DS was just plain crap at empathy & taking turns in conversation. He struggled hugely at seeing other people's perspectives (now 12 & not great... but much better).
Plus had the impulse control of a gnat.
In retrospect, nothing but time was going to cure it. Needed to mature.

junebirthdaygirl his reading is fine,great in fact. So I'm pretty sure it's not dyslexia

Dyspraxia can also mean they have difficulties with communication, like taking turns in conversation and knowing when to not speak. Also with concentration and fidgeting. Get your son formally assessed. This has to be paid for, but once you have your bit of paper school has to make provision. Ds1 has dyspraxia and has a keyring called a koosh. He can fiddle with it and it helps his concentration. Ds1 is starting his second year of social skills at secondary school. He still has difficulty with this area. Although I used to be a teacher and calling out and chatting drove me bonkers.

glitterandtinsel totally agree,drives me insane as well. Having said that,I do try and give a bit more leeway to kids who evidentally are finding sitting still,concentration,listening etc harder than others. It frustrates me that after telling DS today to take his toast crusts and put them in the bin,and then he tried to go upstairs with them! And im sure it frustrates his teacher,but she even agreed there was something going on with his listening and attention skills so I don't think a bit more patience whilst we determine what that is is too much to ask

I also wonder if she's tried ignoring him,as that's what I do often with kids shouting out. May ask her.

I agree. Ds1's lack of turn taking in conversation, which leads to long monologues test my patience. Not remembering what he was meant to be getting, then forgetting entirely and doing something else ( until I catch him!) also drives me nuts! But dyspraxia also gives him a unique way of looking at the world, great design skills, great eye for colour... It gives and it takes! It's just hard at t beginning. But being a teacher means you aren't afraid of making waves to get what your ds needs.

I say the same things to dd a billion times over and it drives me insane.

In the classroom there are lots of things which can be done. Fidget toys such as a tangle, positioning of his seat in class or on the carpet, breaking down of instructions, positioning near the whiteboard, special things for his chair to sit on which help with sitting still, talking tins or a dictaphone to help with instructions (can play back)

Its just having the time to do them all when you have 29 other kids to deal with too but they have to.

But it can also depend on the dynamics if the class. If only one child shouts out, then it's easy to ignore. If several have the same problem, then you have to tackle it differently - you can't ignore 3/4 as they can feed off each other's behaviour.

Regardless to the cause, they all need to learn. It's how you teach them that is important and how you adapt your teaching to help them learn.

If she does not know, don't be awkward or 'that' parent, so some gentle teaching yourself. Impart some knowledge. She may not know, but have you offered (concrete) advice yet?

I wouldnt punish him at home as well but I would support her in her approach at school. He is disruptive. it isnt easy to hear as a parent and a teacher. my dd has quite significant sen and has had huge difficulties at school but you have to stsy focused on the issue. It is v tempting to say they are over reacting etc etc. I would clamp down on the interrupting at home too. Maybe she isnt being tough enough if the few mins off break time are not helping. If you have ideas that might help then offer them but try not to minimise the issue.