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The staffroom

Whether you're a permanent teacher, supply teacher or student teacher, you'll find others in the same situation on our Staffroom forum.

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Original poster

I cried in the staff toilets today...

47 replies

Puffinity · 19/09/2016 21:39

Today was the beginning of my third week of teaching(I'm doing Teach First). I had prepared like mad, trying new things, only to be greeted by rudeness and refusals to do work. I don't know why, but today it really got to me and I walked out of a meeting crying. My mentor had to come and get me from the toilets and give me a hug. I knew this moment would come at some point and I am feeling much better now, but I can't say I'm feeling particularly proud or professional at the moment... Please reassure me you've all been there

OP posts:

Misssss · 19/09/2016 23:18

Thanks Puffin! Hopefully they will pass very quickly. Haha the name was chosen with the classroom in mind! X

MidniteScribbler · 20/09/2016 02:07

We've all had days like this. Sometimes it results in crying, sometimes it results in drinking a bottle of wine after you get home. Either are perfectly normal reactions!

One thing one of my early mentors taught me is not to get too bogged down in your lesson plans. There's days when it just feels like you wonder if the students in your class have been replaced with dementors, and you're not going to get much out of your carefully planned lesson, no matter how hard you try. Don't be afraid to realise that they're having a bad day, throw the lesson plan out of the window and just set them a task where they have to work quietly. I've even stopped my class in the middle of a fun activity and made them do silent writing for the rest of the session because they couldn't do the task without being feral. I set it up again the next day and they were ready to have a go. I always have a class novel on the go, and spending ten minutes reading that to them can often settle things down as well.

If they're just having a silly, unfocused day, put the books down and go outside and play a game for fifteen minutes, then come back inside and have another go. Google 'brain breaks' and have a heap of them in your bookmarks that you can throw on the screen. I regularly kick mine out of the classroom mid lesson and sent them to do two laps around the oval. They often come back much more settled and ready to work again.

I know that pre-service and new teachers spend hours on their lesson plans, and coming up with exciting and engaging lessons for the students, but for one thing, it's not sustainable when you're teaching full time, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with a simple writing task to work on quietly for a while. It gives you a chance to catch your breath and to move around the room and work one-on-one with some students.

Acopyofacopy · 20/09/2016 21:06

I seem to be teaching a very unreasonable amount of Y8 bottom sets this year. Cried after meeting the first lot for the first time and fantasise about just walking out and never coming back.
Counted the weeks until half term and checked how many Y8 lessons I am going to miss due to trips or training days today. Feel marginally better now.

teacher54321 · 20/09/2016 21:23

I don't know a teacher who hasn't cried at work-through frustration, behaviour, management etc. I have only ever cried once because of a pupil's behaviour. Every other time it's either been pure stress related or because of difficult colleagues.

Donthate · 20/09/2016 21:23

I was in your position last year. I teach fe so not teach first but I had no teaching experience and started teaching on 7 September straight in the classroom. I hadn't even observed another teacher! I cried through my dd's swimming lesson every week wondering what the hell I had done. My students are great and I haven't cried for at least 8 months so things definitely get easier.

Wavingnotdrown1ng · 20/09/2016 21:23

25 years in and I felt like crying last Friday with Year 9 after lunch - but counted the minutes until the weekend. It does get easier and you do learn not to take it so personally the longer you do the job. One foot in front of the other and don't get too hung up on the ITT dogma about ' engaging lessons' being the answer to all behaviour problems. The people who trot that one out usually bailed out of classroom teaching long ago. Reflect on your practice and remember each lesson is a fresh start. Good luck, and yes, we have all been there.

EarthboundMisfit · 20/09/2016 21:26

Not a teacher, but I've cried in the toilets at work twice.

PrincessHairyMclary · 20/09/2016 21:28

We have ofsted At the moment and I saw several red eyes of experienced teachers today I'm sure it was from the pressure.

Working in a school is hARD you are mentally and physically drained and just as you reach your breaking point it's time for a holiday/half term so you can just recharge yourself long enough to work another 6 weeks.

If students aren't following instructions use your sanctions process, send them/get them collect to go else where it happens to the most experienced teachers not just those in training.

youcannoteatconkers · 20/09/2016 21:36

As much as I love my dd, and from what I can gather she is very well behaved and tries hard despite sen at the end of the day she is a hormonal grumpy teen and I too would cry if I had 30 of her all day.

I used to teach and had a full snotty meltdown on more than one occassion.

Ditsyprint40 · 20/09/2016 21:37

Keep up the good work! TF is tough, and the third week is proving v stressful for all at our school. Keep going X

privetdrive · 20/09/2016 21:44

Been there many times. Worst was when an SN child I worked with punched me in the face (she was only 5, v complex needs). I ended up spending an hour sobbing into the arms of the usually very stone faced deputy head.

I did a GTP, so understand how hard TF is. Hang in there, it'll pay off!

Greenandcabbagelooking · 21/09/2016 20:40

I've cried at work already. Twice. Had a cry in the loo, pulled myself together then my friend asked me if I was ok. I dissolved in a puddle in her arms.

DramaAlpaca · 21/09/2016 20:55

Hope tomorrow will be better Greenandcabbagelooking

memyselfandaye · 21/09/2016 21:01

Having read many "teacher" threads on here over the years, I would guess you are one of many that's been reduced to tears by the little darlings.

Next time they are being shitheads just remind yourself that you get to walk away from them at the end of the day, their parents have to put up with them all of the time.

Uricon · 21/09/2016 21:06

Pretty much the best and most inspiring teacher I ever had (with decades experience) was not above plonking a vase of daffs in front of us and telling us to do a 'composition' (It was a v long time ago)

I realise now that it was possibly less about letting our burgeoning creativity flow freely and more about giving her a break and chance to do a bit of marking/prep.

Sending you positive thoughts.

MrsGuyOfGisbo · 22/09/2016 15:59

Is it your first job? Guessing so if you are TF.
This is the same in any job - just assume throughout your career you will have this when you start a new job while you settle in - and know it will pass when you get more confident in the job.

Ditsyprint40 · 22/09/2016 19:03

Next time they are being shitheads just remind yourself that you get to walk away from them at the end of the day, their parents have to put up with them all of the time.
For a few hours in the evening and at the weekend, where you aren't having to pressure them to do things they don't want to do? 😂

MidniteScribbler · 23/09/2016 01:38

I realise now that it was possibly less about letting our burgeoning creativity flow freely and more about giving her a break and chance to do a bit of marking/prep.

Yup, on those days when you just can't face it anymore. Prompt on the board, creative writing time, silent work. I shall go over here in the corner and count the days until the holidays.

sashh · 23/09/2016 07:10

I had prepared like mad, trying new things, only to be greeted by rudeness and refusals to do work.

It's not personal.

That is the best advice I have ever been given, the kids don't think about you and your hard work, they are mostly selfish teenagers and you are new so they are like animals with prey.

It's a game to them.

But not all of them.

Have you been shown the 'time in the book' trick?

If they refuse to work just write the time in the margin of their book, do this for everyone, the refusers and the ones getting on with work.

Check with your mentor but if you are allowed put the time and 'refused to do any work' then put them in detention/apply the appropriate sanction.

If the parents turn up at parents evening you can show them the book.

Also give it a couple of weeks and then phone the parents of the 'good ones' / the hard workers, tell them how proud you are of the ones getting on with work, admit it might look a little chaotic but you are working on the behaviour and learning is taking place.

monkeysox · 24/09/2016 22:05

Love that advice sassh

timelytess · 24/09/2016 22:11

They all do it. All the beginner-teachers cry. Even the most able, most organised, most competent.
And I did too. For 21 years.
Once I cried outrageously (and loudly) in a corridor because my new Year 7 tutor group were not as lovely as the Year 11s who had left after five years with me.
Another time I cried and wailed in an office (paper-thin walls to the corridor) after a staff member had mocked me (with malice aforethought, and not for the first time) in a half-school assembly.
You get over the children being arses. Its the staff that really get to you.
You're cheerful enough now, you'll probably be fine. Let it out, move on.

Tastesjustlikecherrycola85 · 03/10/2016 16:37

Yep, 7 years in and had a horrendous first meeting with a class - burst into tears as they left and had to have my next lesson covered

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