How are you feeling? Any suicidal thoughts or feelings?

[Longlost10]

Having found more than half the teachers talking in a staff room I was in a few days ago admit to having had suicidal feelings over the last two weeks, I am just wondering how widespread this frame of mind is within the teaching profession?

You can't censure someone else's lived experience Stars, even if you disagree with it. I would rather go to prison and possibly face execution rather than join the armed forces like many have done previously.

Now this might be very offensive to someone who has been in the army or who has been victim of a miscarriage of justice. They still can't say I don't have the right to feel that way or say how I feel. No one is telling you how to feel, just sharing their experience.

I agree 110% stars.

I'm actually more shocked you would post that comment as a back up to your experience. I am sure your friend wouldn't have expected it to be put on a public forum.

So what I am hearing is:
my job makes me want to hurt myself
getting cancer is preferable to my job

but I can't leave because everyone needs me

It's called being a MASSIVE MARTYR. And I am sorry to say noone needs teachers who feel that way either.

Many people can't just walk away from their career. That is not being a martyr, it's just reality. We rely on my income, I love the children but I don't teach for that reason alone. I live in an area of seasonal employment, we would struggle if I left.

There are days when I feel like curling up into a ball and hiding away, I have fantasised about my car being hit by a tree (not enough to kill me, just enough to stop me having to go in). I often feel anxious on my commute, unable to predict the atmosphere, the new list of demands, the whims of SLT after an after-school book scrutiny or learning walk that takes place without us being there.

I'm not even full time but I feel so bogged down (disclaimer, part time teaching still equates to 30+ hours work a week, so technically full time, just not as full time as others).

Is it possible to finish the comments about cancer please? It's clearly upsetting other posters and isn't really relevant in this thread.

It's called being a MASSIVE MARTYR. And I am sorry to say noone needs teachers who feel that way either. the trouble is, the entire education system depends on teachers who feel this way... of course tens of thousands have left, but as for the others who feel like this, there are a variety of reasons they don't. For some it is just the sense of being trapped, you need to pay your mortgage, etc, and there can appear to be few alternatives. For others, it just destroys your identity and confidence to the extent that you can be completely mentally paralysed, and unable to be decisive about anything. I left, having come to my senses, but it took a long time to reach that point. I should have left a decade earlier, probably. For the last 5 years it was normal practice to only go to bed 3-4 times a week during term time, all other nights were for endless cycles of BTEC marking and feedback.

I suspect sleep deprivation robs many teachers of the strength to get out.

I work 50+ hours a week. I'm not a Martyr, that's just the job. I am needed for sure, and I also need to get paid.

Working hard and caring about your job satisfaction doesn't make you a martyr.

If you don't want teachers like that teaching your kids feel free to teach them yourself, as I'm sure every single teacher has felt overwhelmed by the workload more often than not.

I'm looking for a position as a TA... with a view to eventually be coming a teacher.

Lovely thread!

Well at least you know the worst before you start embo. Also. Am sure there are teachers who love their job and are coping . But they'd be unlikely to post.