Should I complain?

[Ledkr]

Hi there.
I just waged other teachers opinions on this if you don't mind.
Dds is yr 9 and a pretty average student academically and no trouble. Gets good reports and has never had a punishment apart from two lunchtime detentions for homework.
Her head of house Is a man around 6ft 5 with a very deep voice.
When my ds was at the school around fifteen years ago he teased him during PE about being unable to kick a ball and his general lack of co ordination. He has cp and dyspraxia so I complained and it was taken seriously but before it went to the next level I was stupidly persuaded to settle for it being dealt with in school.
So now he is HOH and when dd was ur 7 had cause to speak to her as she had a very light tint in her hair which hadnt washed out after the hols.
He literally reduced her to a snivelling wreck. She described his shouting as terrifying and she was snotty and sobbing uncontrollably.
He continued despite her being in this state.
I e mailed him and told him I felt it disproportionate and unecessary.
He called me and we had a discussion during which he noted that she is quite timid and anxious so I again suggested he didn't need to be as shouty and frightening.
The next day he called her in and did it again for "telling your mum"
So yesterday he decided she was wearing too much make up (fair enough but not half as much as others) marched her to his office, screamed at her for ages during which she was again reduced to a sobbing mess. The other female teacher in the room looked uncomfortable and other teachers consoled her when she went to her next lesson a soggy mess. She was so upset and anxious that she couldn't work and the teacher didn't make her.
Now I'm right behind teachers. I'm a social worker specifically working with very challenging children and parent who are quick to complain.
I'm also a loud shouty person so dd is certainly not unused to loud adults.
After a nights sleep I am still pretty annoyed about this and wondered if anyone has any advice.
It's clear that simple discussion only makes it worse but I can't help feeling that this is inapropriate and bullying and also revenge for previous events.
I would be disciplined if I spoke to my clients in that way and I also don't need to as I feel you show a loss of control.
Any suggestions?
Thanks

I do think you're telling the full story as you know it from your daughter, but I just can't imagine a school with no rule about make up wasting its time telling kids off who are wearing it. So either a) they have been told they can wear very subtle make up and your daughter was wearing so much that it broke that rule - and that needs to be the school's judgement - or b) they can wear as much as they want and the teacher is either not aware of that rule or he is aware of it and is being very odd. My hunch, from my experience is that it is a). I think you should raise it with the school - no, staff should not be yelling in students' faces but you weren't there to see it and I can't count the number of times kids have told me that a teacher was yelling at them and it was a sharp word in a lowered tone. There is no rule against shouting - and some schools do have staff who yell.

Year 9 is a crucial age at which they play off school against home a lot. My advice would be to publicly support the teacher but privately question what happened. The second you indicate to your daughter that the person who has pastoral authority over her does not have your support, the entire school system risks her going off-rail.

When I complained about him openly doing impressions of my disabled son he didn't deny it so I know what he's capabke of.
I always support the school and do not openly criticise teachers however it was hard to hide my upset as she sobbed for ages then couldn't eat or sleep, came into me at 6 having not slept and had terible anxiety.
When I spoke to him before about shouting at her he didn't deny it, he told me that she was a timid and anxious girl. Hardly indicative of a brash cheeky child. I know she lives in fear of coming across him so woukd certainly not antagonise him.
I appreciate you are sticking up for a fellow teacher and in a way I'm glad you find it hard to believe he could behave in such an extreme manner.

Her recent report was all 1 and 1* and teachers all said she was a pleasure to have in the class.

I've written five different replies so far and I've finally decided that you need to complain higher up. He is clearly going to continue bullying your daughter until someone tells him to stop. Frankly, if possible, I would be tempted to keep her off for the day while the conversation is had.

I have shouted, loudly, at children many times. I would never, ever continue a telling off days after the event. And I certainly wouldn't shout at a child I considered to be sensitive or anxious. It is bullying.

I am really not sticking up for teachers - I just have a different view point.

Contact the head's PA and ask for a meeting, saying you have tried to resolve this with the staff member themselves a couple of times, and still have the same concern.

Thank you champagne I appreciate your consideration and comments. I do think it's more than just a shouty teacher. He seems to hound her and enjoy upsetting her.

Have read whole thread. This wouldn't be allowed to happen at my school. You should complain and have every right to.
I am in NQTyr after retraining as a mature student. A lot of what happens in schools bemuses me. But from my (albeit limited, but I am a parent too) experience, no child would be subjected to this without reproach.
You need to complain.

Any update OP?