Dreading parent teacher meetings

[Cleebope]

How does everyone cope with post primary parental consultations? I dread them and find them completely exhausting. In secondary we teach 7 different year groups so that's 7 evenings a year. Each one lasts about 3 hours. I teach English and I have massive queues especially with junior classes. Some years I teach 2 classes in a year group- that's 60 parents waiting anxiously. I never even get a toilet break. I often lose my voice at the end. Some parents are v demanding and query every wee detail or ask challenging questions. If I try to be vague it never works! Any advice for how to make them less awful?

Cleebope - I actually enjoyed it.
(He was a lazy sod, rarely popped into the lessons I took on from him - had to pressgang in other kind teachers on free periods to note for me the teaching standards I was, or was not, meeting. However was great freedom - I never felt oppressed or bullied there )

The worst thing is not knowing what problems or questions will be thrown at you after a 9 hour day.

Believe me, it can be just as stressful and exhausting for the parents, who likewise may have worked a 9 hour day and are likewise losing their evening when they'd prefer to be doing something else. With modern communication technology, there are far easier and better ways for parents and teachers to communicate effectively. Like a lot of things with education, it needs to be brought kicking and screaming from the dark ages into the modern world.

The other thing I notice is that some teachers simply don't have a clue who your kid is, which means time is lost when they're looking at the photo sheet and then referring back to their mark books and notes, etc., for a few minutes until they remind themselves and only then can they start to talk properly about the pupil.

Contrast that with others who, the moment you say your child's name, immediately know who he is, if necessary already has some prep notes ready to discuss, and can start the conversation straight away, meaning a far quicker appointment overall.

there are far easier and better ways for parents and teachers to communicate effectively

If I wanted to sit down and communicate with a whole class of parents individually about their child it would take a damn sight longer than 3 hours. With email, there's only enough time to email parents if there are major issues. I'm not going to send an email about a niggling problem like presentation or a slightly disappointing test score, but I would bring it up at parents' evening. It's also useful to have the kid there sat in front of you to hear how awesome they are (or not).

About having to look at a mark book - of course I don't know the individual marks for every one of the students I teach. It's not primary, we teach hundreds of kids.

Believe me, it can be just as stressful and exhausting for the parents, who likewise may have worked a 9 hour day and are likewise losing their evening when they'd prefer to be doing something else. With modern communication technology, there are far easier and better ways for parents and teachers to communicate effectively. Like a lot of things with education, it needs to be brought kicking and screaming from the dark ages into the modern world.

A parents' evening is a legal requirement in the UK, but parents don't have to go.

As for parents and teachers communicating, surely there are books going backwards and forwards between school and home, so why aren't the parents looking at them? Or if nothing is coming out of the school, then why don't the parents ask?

The parent should be communicating with their child.

I would say there are a few things you can do in advance to make it easier:

1 - the week before in class, ask students to write down how they think they are doing and if there is anything they are proud of or worried about.

1. Create a sheet explaining what you are doing and what you will be doing in class later. Also put on the sheet a list of suggested websites or books or activities that parents could use to help their children at home. If they don't want to then that's no problem.

1. On the day of the parent meeting, buy an extra sandwich to have after work, some smint breath mints and a bottle of water and glass.

1. At the meeting, greet the parent, go through the sheet, explaining what their child is doing well at and where they need to improve and importantly what can be done to help them improve. (Circle the "what you could do at home" elements which would help).

1. Say how you know Jimmy has been really pleased with his improvement in xxx (whatever he said) and how his concern is yyy (again according to what he wrote). Explain how either his concern is nothing to be worried about because xyz or that you are also slightly concerned about it (probably covered earlier) and say what your suggestion is for him to improve.

1. Say to the parent that you think you've covered everything that you wanted to pass on and ask them if they have anything they want to ask.

About 90% of the time they don't because they really just want to know their child is doing ok and that weaknesses are being addressed.

I've come across a few teaches who have been vague and it just makes me think they have no idea who my child is. I then probe more and probably take up more time than they'd hope!

Yes sometimes when you teach nearly 1000 students (RE for example) it's hard to know exactly who they all are.

I teach all of KS3 once per week. Last year, we had a yr 7 parents evening before Oct half term. With CATs and various other things, there were kids I'd only met four times.