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The staffroom

Whether you're a permanent teacher, supply teacher or student teacher, you'll find others in the same situation on our Staffroom forum.

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Original poster

Time off when children are ill

63 replies

veneeroftheweek · 26/01/2016 10:45

I'm curious as to your school's policy when your own children are sick and you don't have family nearby to help out.

I called in today and explained that my son was ill, and that my other half had taken the day off yesterday so I couldn't come in. It clearly wasn't ok. And now I feel really shit. Nursery won't take him if he has a temperature. What do other people do?

OP posts:

parrotonmyshoulder · 28/01/2016 06:32

I lie awake most nights worrying about the slightest cough or cry I hear from them, desperately willing them not to be sick!

Just had last week's days approved with pay, but it's only the beginning of term so dreading having to ask for more later on!

Singsongsungagain · 28/01/2016 06:43

I had to have some time off a week ago (2 days) because of the dreaded pox. This is a new job so I haven't yet worked out what their view will be. I shared the load with dh who also had time off. We have no family nearby and use nursery so no option to go there with chicken pox.
I really don't know what else you're supposed to do. Teachers are expected to perform like robots and have no life outside of work really aren't they.

ArmchairTraveller · 28/01/2016 06:46

It is always horrible and uncomfortable, and sadly it depends very much on the attitude of the head teacher. Most schools I've worked at have been very professional and heartless, one day and then you have to find alternatives.

MidniteScribbler · 29/01/2016 22:38

Our "sick days" are really either for us or child. Principal is pretty good about it, but if it's likely to be a multiple day illness for a child, then we do need to be proactive about finding other care. I'm a single parent so I'm praying that if DS does get chicken pox (he is vaccinated), that it's on the school holidays.

SuffolkNWhat · 30/01/2016 08:30

I teach at my DD1s school so am always the one called! I have always said I will take the time unpaid but my Head is fantastic and says that if we need to call you out of the class it's serious so I'm paid for it.

I'm reasonably lucky in that the PIL live near DH work so can take the DDs in an emergency and I have a very understanding childminder who will collect if she's not got anyone in the day (she mostly does wrap around care)

Hrafnkel · 30/01/2016 08:53

Our head has 4 under 15 himself and when he arrived a few years ago made the rule that we get paid the first day of a child's sickness. I've used it a few times over the years; I work pt and dh has also had a couple of days off so I've never needed two days in a row, not even when dd 2 was in hospital at 16 months old.

We currently have our deputy acting as head, though, and I know he is less happy with this rule. Surprise surprise, his children are adults.

BumpPower · 30/01/2016 09:05

It's horrid and I've had to do the pretend your sick when really it's your child a few times. I look enviously at friends who work from home, take flexitime etc when their kids are ill but then I know they are v jealous when I get to spend the holidays with DC. On a few occasions I managed to get GParents to travel to us (long way) to do some childcare which only worked as I was able to run out of work at 1530 (with a huge pile of stuff to do once DCs in bed) and rescue them. I know you can't do that it many jobs either

MrsUltra · 30/01/2016 09:07

If you have kids they will get sick so amazed that people have not thought about this in advance.
If you have a partner in the armed forces/emergency services and you over 100 miles away from family - surely you think about contigency for this situation as well as others.
When you are absent the school has to get cover. This can cost the school much more than your salary - even if you take it unpaid they may be paying £300 to an agency to cover you. I was in a school this week where there were five supply teachers in covering illness and teachers' sick DC. So hardly unreasonable for your employer expects you to have arrangements in place after day1.

ArmchairTraveller · 30/01/2016 09:56

MrsU, are you saying that people shouldn't have children and work unless they have absolutely concrete vback-up plans, and spares for the time when the back-up doesn't work?
Or schools shouldn't employ people with dependent children?

MrsUltra · 30/01/2016 12:35

Of course not - but some on the thread say they have no back-up plan at all which is irresponsible - if you have a job and kids you need a plan for when they are ill, rather than moaning at schools not allowing infinite leave.

Dreamonastar · 30/01/2016 13:24

It's what that back up plan is, Mrs

I mean, it's all very well shouting that you need a back up plan but what IS that back up plan?

starry0ne · 30/01/2016 13:59

I was married when I had DS....Now ex has no contact neither do any of his family....Friends while great have their own kids and don't want my DC germs in there house so who is let...

I don't work in school by the way..I am self employed and just lost a weeks wages due to illness...

I am afraid ..I hate this culture our sick children are an inconvenience when they really want their parents when poorly.

padkin · 30/01/2016 17:57

Exactly, dreamonastar. Unless you have close family on hand NOBODY will look after a vomiting, diarrhoeay child. There is no childcare you can pay for. So if you don't live near family, or have no family, but have children, should you not work at all MrsUltra?

GinandJag · 31/01/2016 17:48

Our traditional culture is that you do have an in-built support system of extended family nearby, church family and neighbours, if the other parent can't manage.

Our culture has not caught up up with moving far from family, not going to church, and not speaking to neighbours, let alone single parenthood as a norm.

I think that if you are someone taking advantage of this progress, you need to suck it up and have contingency plans if you want to be a full part of any great profession.

Dreamonastar · 31/01/2016 17:58

And if we don't have contingency plans we should stay on benefits until our child is 13/14, is that right?

GinandJag · 31/01/2016 18:54

The ultimate contingency plan is to take unpaid leave.

Any professional, such as a teacher, should have the problem solving skills to come up with a creative solution. There is no room for "woe is me".

Dreamonastar · 31/01/2016 20:20

Unpaid leave is fine.

I'm thick, so please do share your creative thinking skills for who should care for my children if they are ill and nursery won't take them?

GinandJag · 31/01/2016 21:07

You, the parent, have ultimate responsibility for your own children.m what am I missing?

allegretto · 31/01/2016 21:12

You can only have so many contingency plans! I have two back-up babysitters if my children are ill but seeing as I am not paying them a retainer, sometimes they are not available and I really have no other choice, do I?

padkin · 31/01/2016 21:16

Are you being deliberately obtuse, or do you seriously not understand?

We have both said we're happy to take unpaid leave on the very rare occasions we have a very ill child, but you seem to think there are other 'creative' alternatives. I will say it again - I have researched thoroughly and tried all avenues, but there is NO emergency childcare available for a child with D&V. No one will do it for love nor money. No childminder, no emergency nanny, no emergency babysitter. And I have no friends who don't work, and no family.

So please what is your creative solution?

Dreamonastar · 31/01/2016 21:21

I'm also interested to hear what this creative solution is.

I suspect it is:

Don't work at all if you may need to take a couple of days unpaid leave in a year. This will last around a decade, then you are free to work as after a decade on benefits you will be eminently employable.

GinandJag · 31/01/2016 21:22

The ultimate is to take unpaid leave.

Why should teachers be protected from the realities of a working life?

If you take time off work, either your colleagues take the hit by having to cover your lessons, or the school budget takes a hit. Obviously colleagues are willing to step in for a few days a year (and you will do likewise for them).

At some point you have to wear your big girl pants. It is not your employer's problem that you are a single parent or they you live a long way from family, or that you refuse to make friends with your neighbours. That is your self-inflicted problem.

I live 400 miles from one set of family and 2000 miles from another, so family support has never ever been an option. When I have had issues with childcare I have 1) asked DH (who was able to work from home if no meetings or travel), 2) asked someone from church, 3) paid a childminder. I've never needed to get to stage 4: taking unpaid leave.

It has never occurred to me to have my employer to suck up my problems, or to even attempt to solve them for me.

MidniteScribbler · 31/01/2016 21:24

Damn, of course the fact that my parents are both dead means that I shouldn't have had a child, since they can't step in as emergency childcare.

Fortunately I have a sensible boss who knows that their staff have children and those children sometimes get sick, and sometimes even the best contingency plans fall apart, no matter how well you plan.

FrancesDeLaTour · 31/01/2016 21:34

How is asking some random from church to look after your child while you go to work you taking responsibility for your own DC? Surely you're just then ditching the responsibility on them rather than your employer?

GinandJag · 31/01/2016 21:38

I wouldn't say that anyone from church family is random. They do it out of love rather than any other kind of obligation, just like a natural extended family. The employer has no obligation. The only obligation falls to the parents. They are the only ones who need to come up with a solution.

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