What do you call children who's names you don't know?

[SawdustInMyHair]

I'm on PGCE placement, and although I've learned all the names in 'my' class, I am obviously not going to learn all the names in the school.

I've realised that when I don't know the name I'm defaulting to 'young man' for boys and 'sweetheart' for girls, which grosses me out because of the sexism, and worries me if I misgender someone (it's primary so some of them are at that age where it's hard to tell). I try getting the names, obviously, but it's not practical in every situation.

Is there a good catch-all "you-child" term I'm missing?

I call them something silly - gorgeous for the boys, trouble for the girls, sweetheart, light if my life etc - yrs 5-8 though. I try to call them something really daft in class to get a laugh

I can imagine an AIBU thread complaining that the new teacher calls her child Englebert even though his name is Stefan etc. ' how should I word my letter of complaint'?

I asked teacher DP.
What do you call a child when you don't know their name?
"It."
No, seriously, it's for mumsnet.
"Mate, or lovely or sweetie, or sexy, or summat."

I think half term needs to be over now

Dude! (Both genders) "dude seriously, stop trying to hang from the goal post"
Young lady/ Young man
Darling (both genders)
Cherub and treasure (both genders)
Little Monster (both genders)

"Child" or "foolish boy" if they have given a daft answer. Said in a supercilious tone for preference, while miming beating them with a textbook or backhanding them. General default is "son", even for those whose names I do know. I don't teach girls, so I don't have a useful placeholder there.

Not a teacher but I used to be a Rainbow leader ("can you stop hitting her please sweetheart") and am now a Guide leader (still "well you shouldn't have set off the fire alarm sweetheart" when I forget, but also "can you stop giggling now guys" for plural, it's rubbed off from some American friends. Or "it's time to tidy up girls". For a single Guide I'd probably use "could you come out of that cupboard, erm, erm". I should start cultivating an air of eccentricity and say "please get off the stack of chairs Ermentrude")

All lone English girls in Guiding are Flossie unless you have more than one in which case you may need to call the other one Mary (note: only to other Guiders). In Scotland they are all Jessie.

DC1 had an American carer at one point and called all other children "guys" too including asking to "see guys" meaning the two little girls down the road.

I know I call the girls (secondary) ladies - but have to admit I often called groups of boys ladies too.

In primary, because I only go in to teach French one day a week, I try to stick to the French - Messieurs, Mesdemoiselles, les gars, les enfants, whatever ...

Every opportunity is a learning opportunity.

How long does it take to learn names? I've just started placement as a trainee TA and there are only 20 children in my class, but I know about 3 names after day one - all of them children I supported in some way. Please tell me it gets easier!

I think some people are better at it than others - I am bad at remembering names I admit. One colleague, after one induction day with her new year 7 form, knew all their names. It took me most of September to learn mine.

If you are only attached to one class (a fairly small one it sounds) then even if you are as bad as I am, it should only take you a couple of weeks. Usually the kids are good at helping you play memory games with their names.

Yes I'll be with these children probably until Christmas, then move year groups for some more experience.

I've actually got all the names, I'm just awful at putting them to faces!

I call them all sweetie, sometimes I say it to my own children and get moaned at for using my"work voice"

It takes me the induction day to learn about half of them (if I know their name within the first ten minutes, they will quite possibly be trouble...). It then takes me another two days to learn the rest. I teach primary, though, so I stay mostly with my class. I know most of the year group by now and some of the children in other years. I have started at a new school, though. I knew nearly all of the children at my old school, unless they were in reception.