Work related anxiety

[lurkinginthenorth]

Exactly a year ago, I ended up on sick leave for a number of weeks due to anxiety and stress. I had a big falling out with my HT and I was pregnant at the time; an issue my Union and midwife thought my HT had a problem with.

Fast forward a year and I am due to return in a few weeks after maternity leave. But recently I have noticed that I am snappy, tired (not sleeping) and thinking about the possible bad things that could happen to me at work. In a nutshell, my anxiety is back and worsening as each day passes.

I am dreading going back. My HT isn't the sort of person I can 'talk' to. She doesn't seem to have a sympathetic or caring bone in her body and seemingly and genuinely struggles with the concept of 'staff well-being'.

I don't want conflict. I want to go to work, do my job and go home without any confrontations or falling outs. So what do I do? Is this something you go to your GP about? Last year, I sat in her consultation room and sobbed! I am not at that point (yet!) but I don;t want to get to that point.

Just needing some helpful but gentle advice as to what to do!

Sympathies. It sounds like you had a tough time last year and are now getting very anxious about going back.

Have you used any KiT days yet? Would arranging a half day in school (maybe including a meeting with the HT) to get things lined up ready for going back help?

Perhaps you need a new school. Can you look for something else? Your HT does not sound helpful at all.

Are you based in a school by Putney by any chance?

If you think you know the OP then perhaps private messaging would be more appropriate.

Leigh1980 No, nowhere near Putney. I doubt I am the only person in teaching feeling this way or in this sort of predicament!

belindarose I am always looking. I am on the LEA website and eteach weekly. It is hard though because I want part time and they are rarer than a blood moon!

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged I have had one KIT day. It was blatantly obvious she was avoiding me. I spoke to her, offered her a seat and she declined for a reason that made no sense at all because she did the very thing she was claiming to avoid when she sat down!
Also meeting with her to discuss the issues makes me physically sick. I am not comfortable with her at all. She is very work orientated, which I don;t have a problem with, but she lacks 'people skills' and genuinely has no idea how to be concerned with staff well-being. Union had to remind her of her duty! I don;t think she means to be the way she is, she just 'is'. She is a seemingly naturally cold and heartless person. She is universally hated but I am the only one who has confronted her about whole school issues. Everyone else ran to the hills when my problems arose!
I have two more KIT days coming up. I keep reminding them to email me the staff meeting schedule because I can easily attend staff meetings and one or two are relevant to me and my professional development because they are areas I have recognised needs improving and up-skilling on. But I am met with deaf ears and a closed door.

I hate academies and really don;t want to go full time but I am so desperate to leave i am considering academies and full time positions!

Have you considered tutoring or supply?

My last school sounded very much like yours-it was horrible.

The Education Support Partnership provide a 24hr confidential helpline. You would be able to talk to someone who really understands the pressures teachers are under.

Tutoring is a no. Generally weekends and evenings and those are the times I want with my family.

Supply - yes. I enquired on my LEA's website and although this round is coming up to the deadline, I am sure by the time I need to make a decision, another round will be up and running. But as I would need childcare, I am limited and it isn't easy to find a CM/nursery who can take children at the last minute. But it is something I am giving serious consideration to when youngest starts school.

catfordbetty thanks for that. Although I am not sure how they could help? I have been through counselling and found it pretty useless.

As time goes on, I realise that this is something that i ma going to have to face head on and deal with what it throws at me.

I am really fearful for my job. I have 15 year experience and my HT has only a couple or so years on me but only 8 years of teaching experience!!

Are you in England? 'Academies' could be any kind of school here now so I think you're right to stop ruling them out.