Aggressive parent and the SLT

[Mia1079]

Hi,

I posted a few weeks ago and here is a link to my previous thread.

I recently started in a new school (Primary) and have had issues with a number of things, one of them being a boy with serious behavioural problems who was taught in isolation last year.

Due to several incidents of violence towards other pupils, he was taken out of class again and I assumed that the SLT had spoken to his parents about what had gone on as the decisions were made above my head. I had been phoning his mum when the first few incidents had happened but she was always very aggressive and confrontational. I told this to the deputy head.

A meeting was called this week between his parents and the SLT about his behaviour and steps forward. I was asked to come to the meeting but despite asking several times, I was not told exactly what would be discussed and they said they only needed me for backup about the way he was in class.

His mum was aggressive from the start but directed most of this at me. The HT gave her the perfect opportunity to verbally attack me by saying that I'd found her aggressive when discussing her son in the past (which was told to them in confidence.)

She started shouting at me, accusing me of all sorts of things, making up lies, criticising my teaching and behaviour management and basically saying everything was my fault. I defended myself but was disappointed that no member of the SLT intervened or reprimanded her for her aggressive behaviour. SLT suggested she perhaps come and observe her son in class (something they hadn't discussed with me beforehand.)

After the meeting, I asked why they hadn't stepped in and they said they felt it wasn't needed as I had defended myself. I felt that the HT pandered to her and didn't give her a true picture of the situation with her son. They sugar coated it a lot and let me take the flack for the lack of communication. I went home feeling awful and there was no real resolution made about this boy as the parents were in complete denial about the problems. I certainly don't want this woman in my classroom either!

I'm seriously thinking of resigning next week as I think this is the straw that has broken the camel's back. I feel so unhappy.

I would resign if I was treated like that.

Afterwards, the SLT kept telling me how well I'd done in the situation but I don't think it's good enough. I shouldn't have been put in the situation in the first place.

I'm not a teacher, sounds like the HT is only interested in covering his own back and you were the slaughter lamb

Jesus, I think I'd resign too!

Haven't read previous, but I take it your Union is involved? Otherwise, I'd be walking, sorry. Totally unreasonable.

Any further meetings with this parent should be recorded, agreed and signed by both parties and both you and the parent have a copy. You should not meet with her again without another colleague also present, preferably a member of the SLT or the SENCO..
You, the SLT and the parent if possible should work on developing a detailed behavioural management plan to enable him to stay in the classroom and not be taught in isolation next year...what did she say when you made that point? That he had struggled last year and that you were delighted that he was being encouraged to manage his behaviour well enough to remain in class? Would SLT and she prefer that he was withdrawn again?
What support are you getting from your LEA inclusion team?
Document and keep evidence, a paper trail of every encounter.
Your SLT sound like shit.

Haven't involved the union as I'm planning to leave teaching anyway. I was getting fed up of the workload last year and I wanted to see if this job would reignite my enjoyment of the job.

Well it's not going to, is it.

So you might as well resign now as it the end of the year.

Involve the union, at least in getting some idea of what support is available. Involve the inclusion team. It's not just that this child's needs aren't being met, it's about how you leave the profession; resigning after doing your best or scuttling out with competency held over your head by an incompetent arse-covering SLT.

Mischief His mother denies there is a behaviour problem at all. She is convinced that the school is against him and he is being treated unfairly and bullied. Any violence towards other children is the other child's fault and he's doing the right thing, because she tells him to hit children that annoy him. His parents said don't want any kind of behavioural provision or medical assessment because they say he's just lively and the school staff don't understand him.

To be honest, I feel that I have done my best regarding this child. I have emailed SLT and caused some things to be done (e.g. he now has 1:1 support which wasn't there before.) I've documented everything that has happened so there is a record. I have tried to get him assessed for particular needs, but that was rejected by the SENCO. I don't see how there could be competency procedures against me because I haven't done anything wrong.

So you and the SENCO draw up a plan between you and implement it so that he learns some boundaries and the other children can attempt to learn with minimum disruption.
Make sure you are clear on every decision, no off-the-cuff remarks and that you have rewards built in as well as clear sanctions. record incidents and action taken.

So the staff seem resigned to accepting crap behavioir from pupils and parents. I take it tje head has no back bone? You are in a good position as many staff will know about which schools to avoid. So ...
You have a choice either walk, or make a change. Talk about effective behaviour policy. If yoir fed up you can bet half the moms are sick.of it aswell!!!

' I don't see how there could be competency procedures against me because I haven't done anything wrong.'

Do you trust the SLT to be fair and truthful and honest about what's happening? What do you think will happen if the child, or another child is hurt as a consequence of his behavioural issues? You may be fabulous, but they will throw you to the wolves if they feel the need.