How do you keep it together?

[Fallulah]

Probably the wrong title but....

I have some family issues at the moment (very poor health of a couple of close members). It's upsetting and worrying.

I'm going to be an NQT and I know from my training year that teaching is all encompassing, which I suspect will actually be a blessing in terms of occupying my brain.

Teaching is 5 hour long shows per day most days and I'm confident I can teach well. Guess I'm just looking for tips on how to keep it together at school when you have drama at home. To share or not to share? I'm new to the school so don't want them to think they've employed an emotional wreck! How to stop yourself crying if colleagues ask about it (my face takes ages to recover from crying so I'd rather not)? That kind of 'how to compartmentalise' - tips?

Hi Fallulah, I sympathise, I also have family problems and work in a school.
I'm a teaching assistant but sometimes cover classes.

Often it's really hard for me to leave home to go to work, and the hardest time is the drive there, and the 'transition' from home to school.

Once I'm there and start work, it gets easier, as I'm so busy. I find that for me personally, I have to push all thoughts of family stuff out of my head and just get on with things. (Hard when you're checking your mobile all the time!)

I've also found that it helps me to share with colleagues I trust. If you're new, then it may be good to wait until you know people, and pick who to share with. I've had to tell my head teacher all about the situation as at one point I never knew if I was going to make it into work, and she has been very supportive.

People asking about home is a bit of a problem - most colleagues understand that if things are bad, I'll get upset, and therefore they don't ask too often! But it helps me to know that they know and understand.

Hope the job goes well, and that what I've said is helpful to you

Thanks Lotsof. I know what you mean about the journey in being hard as you make the 'switch'.

I am late to teaching; I've previously worked in more officey environments where its generally ok to go to the loo or for a walk away from your desk if you need it. But in school...well there's only you to teach that lesson and it doesn't wait for you to get a grip and fix your face.

On the plus side, my new school is small and seems supportive, and my new classroom has a walk in cupboard!

Been reading up on emotional resilience today too.

Just don't let the stress from outside the classroom affect your relationships and interactions with the children. They need you to be calm, sane and professional.
Gameface on, compartmentalisation and remembering that you need to keep your hit together all the time in the classroom and with parents.
I didn't share much with colleagues, they had enough to deal with themselves and I find stressed people reach their sympathy limits quite quickly.
Be kind to yourself when you are not on show in the public eye, so if ready meals or a long bath/shower helps, do it.

I agree that when you're actually at the chalkface, it takes over. During a difficult period many years ago, I surprised myself at how easy it was to not even have a minute to consider out-of-school problems when thirty in-school ones were in front of me.
However, I did have a good friend in the colleague who worked in the room next to me, and an excellent technician, both of whom were prepared to step in for five minutes if I felt overwhelmed. Is there anyone - a TA, maybe - whom you could share with?

I'm on the same situation. I'm going to lose my DM at some point this year, and it's difficult. I've found that being busy leaves no room for dwelling on it.

What you must do, however, is make sure you make time for the people who are ill. Whatever happens, I'm spending my Weds evenings and Sunday afternoons with my DM, however demanding the job gets.

I find that as soon as l hit school all stressful situations leave my head only to return as l sit in car on way home. Also l didn't share much with colleagues as they feel obliged to ask me regularly so brings it all up. As new l would seek help and support out of school and keep that a place where you know you can be just professional. As you get to know people further down the line that can change. Teaching has the capacity to completely fill your mind during the day so don't worry about it. Hope all goes well with your new job