My name is "mud" - that is how I feel - I messed up the job offer

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Had the job offer and I messed up the HT - accepted verbally then pulled out. I deeply regret it... last month the school readvertised the job but my HT said that he would not support me with the reference, so I did not apply.
I feel so bad and also think how would this situation affect my future applications? feel like "blacklisted"

Look, you've already pulled out and they won't think much of you so if you email what harm can it do?

Just be honest and say you're regretting it and will they reconsider. They can only say no.

I think it can do harm quite frankly. She's already come over as indecisive and unprofessional and asking to be reconsidered after the time and costs involved in readvertising would make her look even worse. It's not as though her circumstances have changed.

Sorry, but if you have any self respect, don't reapply. You have messed them around far too much already. Don't listen the people saying give it another try.

OP you sound like you don't know whether you are coming or going. Children need a calm confident teacher. I don't think the new job is a good idea.

Thank you for your replies. I feel very sad...

I'm sorry you are feeling down, but I have to admit in my school (I am SMT) we wouldn't consider you again.
Advertising, interviewing etc is a time-consuming, expensive business. If you pulled out because of family circumstances presumably they haven't changed, you've already highlighted to them that there may be issues that prevent you from being an effective teacher.

We would have no confidence that you could do the job.

I think you need to focus on the job you have now and do your best to turn that around and be the best teacher you can, then you can look at applying for other jobs and moving on.