Parents teaching at their children's school

[KumquatMay]

Hello all!

Am a newbie to this board and interested in what you've got to say. DH and I are approaching the adoption process and, with DH as a primary teacher, have been discussing the dis/advantages of our children attending the school where he works.

If it makes any difference, the school is a very family-centric environment with already a number of staff and pupils related in various ways (though not everyone, obviously!)

We're a while off the process yet but are enjoying thinking about things and, while it depends really on the needs of our children and whether the school can meet them, we're interested in hearing what other people might think.

Thanks!

In my NQT school quite a few teachers had children at the school. That was largely because the Reception teacher had become a very fine talent spotter over the years, identifying new pupils whose mothers had taken a break from teaching when their children were born. She'd encourage them in as parent helpers and then they'd eventually get employed part time for PPA cover/job shares. It certainly was never a problem for me and I don't recall it being a problem for anyone else really.

I think the main issue would be the way it impacts on friendships between the children. I'd certainly never advocate someone having their own child in their class because of this. But beyond that, I think it's down to the individual children, parents and school to decide if it's workable or not.

I teach at my DCs school. It's a large school and several teachers / TAs have DCs at the school. It's never been a problem. Our staff move between year groups regularly so it's unusual to be in the same year group which helps.
Advantages - the main one is convenience, you can easily arrange to see assemblies, nativities etc. If they're a little under the weather you can give them a dose of calpol at lunchtime to see them through. You can normally organise your time so once a week they can have a friend home straight from school (they play in your class whilst you have a quick tidy, then take marking / paperwork home with you.) I'm part time now but was FT when DC1 started school, if he'd been at another school I'd have been one of those parents that only saw school/ teacher at parents evenings.
Disadvantages- you have to learn to turn a blind eye. If your DC are not wearing their coat in the playground in January, remember if you hadn't been there you wouldn't be any the wiser.
As DCs get older they may occasionally pop into your classroom on the way to toilet to ask if friend can come home.
Some parents do befriend you for your insider knowledge, but they are easy to spot.
Sometimes your DC will have a teacher you know is not performing that well, but if you are in a good school (I am and one DC did have a failing teacher) you have to trust your colleagues are dealing with the matter.
For me the advantages have always far outweighed the disadvantages though my children are fairly well behaved. I did work with one colleague who used to refer to her break time staff room trip as the 'walk of shame' as several times a week she would pass her DS who would be sat outside the heads office!

We have quite a few students in our school who are the children of teachers. You will never be working in the same year level as your child. DS will be going to my school when he starts school. I'm a single parent, and my life will be a lot easier if he's in my own school.

Ok, different view. I am a single adoptive parent. My son was at my school (very small, close-knit primary) for a year after he came home. At the beginning of Y2 his behaviour in school became very challenging & his teacher (NQT) really couldn't cope. I was on SLT at the time. It was an utter nightmare - badly handled by the school & compounded by my child's emotional fragility and my intense emotional response (look up secondary trauma & transference). I really nearly had a breakdown. I moved him after half a term. I hung on for nearly three more years, largely because once he wasn't there the school bent over backwards to support me, but it wasn't pleasant.

My son has struggled with school on & off throughout & this is not uncommon for adopted children. He is now Y7, statemented, still struggling. I have had many intense discussions with schools & teachers over the years. Worst was when he was excluded for a week. Fortunately, because he is not in school with me, my own school(s) have been able & willing to be incredibly supportive. I wouldn't ever want him in school with me again. I don't fancy doing a reintegration meeting with my own HT for example . . . Additionally, it's genuinely very hard for (most if not all) adoptive kids to 'share' you with other children during the day or accept your professional role.

I too know many cases where (birth) children are in their parents' school successfully. I know of one adoptive family where it has worked. I know of many more adoptive families where it hasn't worked, or the parent has never dared try it.

As you say, the most important thing is meeting your child's needs. I would advise caution around being in school together though.

Good luck!

My experience is not a positive one when a child's mother taught her own children over a number of years. For my ddit was disastrous as the mother turned a blind eye and deaf ear to her dc and her cronies behaviour. In fact most of the teachers including the head ignored the fact that the dc was a bully. Her two friends mothers were also involved in the school one was a school governor the other a ta. Between them the three dc made my dd life a misery. It got so bad dd had to change schools. Her new school has mothers working in the school but they are not allowed to teach their own children which really makes a difference.

Thanks everyone for the input, it's really helpful.

I think DH and I are leaning more towards them being local, mostly because although he'll miss out on some things by being at work he still lives in our local area, wheres I have no other involvement with his school area (where all the DCs friends will be). So one is much more of a natural base than the other.

Thanks again!