I've been (seriously) trying to work out how to injure myself so I don't need to go into work

[TimeToGetUp]

That's not good, is it?

I can't stand not feeling good enough. Everything is criticised (even though the people criticising are doing the things they criticise about...). There's no time to do everything that's needed.

I'm desperate for a new job, but we really can't earn less (both public sector workers). I'm looking all of the time.

I work part time, but it's taking over my life. We have formal observations this week, and the way management are doing it is so negative :-(

Sorry no point to this, but to get it off my chest :-(

Culture - what kind of job do you do now, and how did you find it?

I found the job on a well known and popular discussion and support site for parents...you may have heard of it...

I was fortunate that I found a job in the field I used to work in before I was a teacher. I taught a technical/science subject and wasn't too out of date in my knowledge. I appreciate this won't be the case for everyone.

I have never been a teacher, but was working in a very high pressure environment last year. I had got to the stage of wondering what would happen if I didn't brake when the car in front did, or if I pulled out too early at a roundabout, or similar. I never did, but eventually I went to the GP. Upshot was 9 weeks off sick, and at the end of that I resigned as it became obvious I wasn't going to be able to go back. I am now SAHM (lucky we can afford it) and with medication and counselling I am slowly repairing the damage that was done, but I won't be working again for the short term.

I hope it gets better for you.

I left without a job to go to because of the appalling pressure from SLT. I went to my GP and got AD - my story seemed to be very familiar she said "you are not a depressed or anxious person - you are being bullied". I am doing supply and although I am a lot poorer, I am a lot happier. Teaching has become a toxic profession. Go to your GP and consider your options.

I hung on in there until I became suicidal and was admitted to a psychiatric ward where I had ECT.
I'm now 11 years into a new career. Yes, the pay is less but I'm trusted and valued.
No job is worth persevering with if you want to hurt yourself

I have had similar thoughts recently - any way to get a day off but too scared to take a day off as the work will just be piled up.
It is a crazy job and the holidays don't even make up for it.
DD has been in tears tonight (trainee school based teaching) as she is overwhelmed and feeling the pressure.
I want to tell her to quit but she should stick it out to get passed NQT year so she is fully inducted and then she can come back to it part time perhaps later in life if she wanted. She has worked so hard and got through so much it would be a shame to fall so near the hurdle.
I don't know why I ever let her go into this career.

Yup. Had PM today. It went really well, excellent feedback.

Saw same kids again for another lesson this pm: 'Miss! That was a great lesson this morning! why isn't it always like that?'

Because I'm on my sodding knees, that's why. I could be pretty damn good most of the time if I weren't ground INTO the ground .

Taught meh lesson to the poor kids. Locked myself in my cupboard for a cry.

Same here op. Mock ofsted battering this week - inspectors leave today but SMT have decided to do walk throughs tomorrow. I got an email today informing me I'm being observed next week - any lesson between Monday and Friday because I 'failed' my observation last month (first 'requires improvement' grade in 16 years teaching).

I asked them to postpone and was redused because we need to be 'kept on our toes'

We're due an ofsted. I fucking hate it.

I am full time. I have two young children. I am a single parent.

I teach in an inner-city, deprived area. My class this year are notoriously difficult to manage. I have a self-harming 9 year old, 4 with quite severe behaviour problems and a whole load more with constantly low-level disruptive tendencies. I have had supply teachers go home at playtime and refuse to teach them.

It is hard work.

And that is without the looming Ofsted, the climate of fear, the daily bashing, the constant scrutinies and monitoring. The 'envelopes of doom' that we are given after every learning walk and book scrutiny which are long lists of bullet points about all the things we are not doing or doing inadequately.

I spend lots of time soothing the poor, broken younger teachers and - more recently - the experienced and skilled ones who suddenly feel not good enough and entirely unvalued.

I do not understand what is happening to education.

I am sick to death of hearing about Ofsted in every single meeting and every single conversation with SMT. I have been sent on two CPD courses this year - both on preparing for ofsted. Why are we concentrating on providing evidence for inspectors and not on what is best for the children? It has all gone horribly wrong somewhere.

And I won't change schools because this is across the board.

I want out. I have to. This is unsustainable and I feel that my integrity is in question - as I jump through hoops and teach in a way that fulfils the SMT's crazy requirements, but is not what my children need (in my humble opinion as a professional who cares about her class.)

And I no longer feel I am making a difference to anyone. I am not being allowed to teach in a way that benefits the children in my care. My energy is taken up with providing data and evidence. I have lost all job satisfaction and feel I am letting y family down as well as the children I am supposed to be teaching.

And I used to think I was good at this.

What can we collectively do about this? It's wrong and so many teachers know it's wrong. I feel like we owe it to the children in this country to actually take some action.

But how?

Sorry, OP. I kind of hijacked with a rant there. I just had to let it out somewhere!

I was signed off 4 years ago for a couple of months. I needed it. If I hadn't I don't think I would be here now. I ended up in a psych unit. Please don't let it get to that point. It was only when I had some time out that I realised how bad it had got. I has been too busy 'coping' up until then.

Except I wasn't coping at all.

I am still at the same school and am aware that the head thinks of me as 'highly strung and fragile' which is unhelpful. I'm actually pretty strong, but everyone has a breaking point.

Don't get to yours. Please.

Can MNHQ email a link to this thread to the Education Secretary? Seriously, someone at/near the top needs to see what is happening to teachers, it is driving decent people out of the profession.

I think it would go unheeded as the response would be that we're all lazy, inefficient, disorganised and work-shy, and it's a good thing that we've all left teaching. Remember we have too many holidays, short days and have never had "real" jobs. Oh and we're probably dangerously left wing as well.

50,000 experienced teachers left the profession last year, up 25% from 2010. Miliband wants us back. You couldn't pay me enough to go back in the current climate.

I don't know what it will take to precipitate change. It is so, so sad.

I went to bed at 2am last night in tears after planning most of the evening. I'm working now and won't finish for an hour or two.

All for a half hour observation next week. If I get RI again (last two observations were RI - the first on in all my years of teaching - I used to be good or outstanding or whatever they called it then) I will probably be put onto capability.

I'm reduced to the state where I can't think and don't know how to do it anymore (except I do, but nothing I do now seems good enough).

And my own children suffer. And the children in my class aren't getting what they really need, just what management want to see.

That kind of work effort is not sustainable in the medium to long term. At some point, your health and the wellbeing of your family have to come first. I really think trying supply might be worth it, whilst you look for other non teaching jobs. It's no good to anyone if you crack under the pressure.

I know going to bed now.

Timeout, this is so awful. Your SLT makes mine look almost reasonable. We have brilliant and supportive teachers (non-SLT) who are still on each other's side, although that doesn't help when we all have so much to do that we don't have a minute in the day to talk to each other.

How are you this morning? I'd say 'at least it's the weekend' or something, but if you're anything like me, you dread the weekend too as you try to juggle family and get all the work done that's needed.

Never feeling a sense of achievement is a problem - although it's always been like that, there used to be more moments at least when you felt something had gone right!

Sorry, Timeto, not Timeout!

Mayfridaycomequickly and time to --your stories are so sad, yes do familiar.

Ofsted are dangerous.

This is such a sad and worrying thread. I have always loved the job and have done it for a long time but I am not in the classroom much at all any more and that takes the pressure off massively. When you are feeling this bad, your health has to come first.

Also, you shouldn't be being graded RI or anything else TimeToGetUp. Ofsted have explicitly said graded lessons are bad practice. They don't do it any more.

Another Ex teacher here. I stopped last year after 18 years of teaching, the last 4 years were terrible.
I refuse to be part of that system, it sucks the joy out of teaching and learning. My teaching was always deemed good or outstanding.
I left without a job to go to, needed months to regain my health and I am only now beginning to resurface and realise how damaging it all was.

Wishing for a car crash - yep, been there, and resigned the week after. No job is worth that.

My school are still grading lessons. SMT claim they hadn't heard of any new legislation and state that they still need to be able to tell the SIP, the LEA and Ofsted which teachers are good, RI or Outstanding.

Yep, we'll be getting graded this week with our 'mockspection'. Claims from SLT as rollon says.

Very handy for backing up their reasons for lack of pay progression I guess...

It's pointless Ofsted saying x y z don't have to be done, if SMT, SIP and LEA are saying it does!