NQT year - I can't sustain this life :(

[40thisisit]

As above really, I have 3 dd's aged 9,11 and 15. I thought I could do this job FT but I've never felt so ill or stressed in all my life. I feel pulled in all directions. The crap thing is I actually am enjoying the work (after years of being in a dead end job) but I have to realise family come 1st.
I can't cope with anymore mornings of no clean clothes for them to wear, lost school items etc.
My dh works FT too but after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer 3 years ago has had to resort to a much lower paid and less stressful job.
Sorry for the rant but I feel such a failure as I thought I could do this.
Am going to see my HOD tomorrow to see if I can reduce my hours. Not quite sure how we'll cope financially but I can't carry on.

What is it that is taking time - is it mainly planning or marking? I could suggest ways to help, I'm 8 years in, teach Ft with 2 dcs age 4 and 1. It does get easier, as you build up a bank of resources and your planning will really speed up.

I know it is hard though, don't think I've ever worked as hard as when I was an nqt

Sounds really hard. I'm not a teacher, but I know it's a tough profession. Can you afford a cleaner - even if not weekly, fortnightly?

Your 11 &15 year olds are old enough to do some of their own washing with support and guidance.

If you're enjoying the work it seems a shame to drop your hours. Why not see how you feel after HT? In my experience of doing a number of high stress, 60hour a week jobs, everyone has peaks and troughs of feeling like they can't do it. £40 a fortnight on a cleaner is probably less money than dropping your hours.

The first year is the hardest!! You are half way through and it is nearly half term. Next year you will be more aware of what is happening in your school and will be able to plan your time better. Remember the work is never finished and so there is no point in working until 10 every night trying to finish a never ending job. You need to prioritise ( this gets easier with experience). Speak to your mentor about how to prioritise your job list and ask around for ideas.

But remember IT IS NEARLY HALF TERM XX

I assume you've been doing this since September? I sympathise with the never quite getting organised feeling but it does get better. You develop a routine
Your dc need to be taking responsibility for getting themselves organised. If your dh has reduced his hours why can't he pick up some of the slack in terms of responsibility / keeping on top of the thinking

Hi 40thisisit. Is this your first year doing this. Sorry to hear about your dh. What are your total hours ? If you are enjoying the work please don't just give it up or reduce hours without trying other avenues first. Why not get a cleaner a couple of mornings a week to do the laundry , cook a dinner and tidy up. Get the kids to help out a bit more and get them up 10 mins earlier in the morning. Before you know it they will be gone off and you will be delighted to have your hours in work.

Something I would say, and you might find it a bit patronising which is not my intention at all, is that I mentor a lot of trainees and nqts. They often kill themselves producing super PowerPoints with whizzy animations for every single lesson. It becomes a bit of a crutch that they rely upon but they can't envisage reaching without them, yet it's so time consuming and not something that is necessarily going to impact much upon student progress. My current mentee says it takes her 3 hours to plan one lesson. I know planning is intensive but that is definitely excessive!

Thank you for all your replies, I think there may be something in the fact we're so close to half term but tbh I've probably been feeling like this since I started, only just really dared to voice the truth.
My school had a level 3 Oftsed last year and I guess all the associated paperwork is causing me lots of pain.
susannahmoodie, it's not the planning, think I've managed to streamline that thanks but I think it's a combination of the marking and I just didn't realise just how much work a tutor group would create!

So they shafted you with a tutor group, we try to make sure NQTs don't get one, not least it gives you an extra 20 mins every morning.
Do keep battling on if you are enjoying it, I do think your DH and your kids need to pick up the slack a lot more, the dc are all old enough to put washing on, shove into tumbler and return to rooms. Can you give them allocated roles each and maybe prep some batch dinners at the weekend to keep the non school workload down.

Yes nqts don't get a tutor group in our school either.

Wrt marking I think little and often is a good approach. I can mark 2/3 a level essays in snatched moments between lessons, etc and before I know it I've got through a whole set of 25 stupidly large a level class

It's something you get quicker at. Lots of peer marking always good too!

I don't stop during school time, I work through break and lunch everyday as it means I don't have to work as much at home.

Oh and another tip - just buy lots of extra clothes, an extra 5 sets of underwear/socks each, an extra school shirt here and there for the kids, will really take the pressure off, and again cost much less in the long run than dropping hours.

I second getting a cleaner. It is just one thing you don't have to think about.
Can you delegate some jobs to the DC?

It does get easier.

I agree with buying enough school clothes so you can leave the washing till weekends. Can you pay the older ones to help?!

I disagree with some of the others though-I found the year after my NQT even harder. The NQT PPA time was gone-there was no mentor there to offer support/protection! and expectations on you were much higher.

I only survive now as I'm part time.

I'm glad you clarified that-my heart sank when I read 'power marking'! I thought it was another brilliant new marking initiative coming my way!! Akin to the 'purple pen of progress'!!

Are there any local teens you could pay to come and do domestic tasks for you midweek (cleaning, put some washing on, hang it up, put washing away, iron etc)?

Everyone I know who does FT has a cleaner and often they iron too. I have enough uniform tshirts to go 2 weeks at push without a wash on. Uniform is cheap. The older DC can be shown how to do tasks. By 14 or 15 loads of people I know are doing proper chores and helping out with food prep. I think you all need to assess those dynamics to let you work FT. That applied to any job

I use to have 5 of everything for the children, and a weekly menu so that Monday was bolognaise night for example.
Your OH has a less stressful job, as a consequence of his illness. How much could he realistically pick up of the house stuff?
Your children are old enough to be fairly independent and useful. It's a family, pull together rather than you feeling you have to do everything.

Bronya, 11 and 15 are old enought to do a lot of useful jobs, and 9 can wash up/load dishwasher, put on a washing machine and unload it, hoover...
Not every day and not child slave labour. Just enought to contribute to being a family member.