Any other teachers feel they are letting their own kids down?

[mamaduckbone]

Just that, really.
I've been teaching for longer than I've had Dcs and always thought I would have it sussed when it came to my own. Now parents evening comes round again and I'm dreading it.

Ds1 is very bright but bone idle and super careless, very social but can be a PITA in class, Ds2 is painfully shy and reluctant to do anything outside his comfort zone, whether that be a harder reading book or collecting a certificate in assembly.

In their own ways I think they are both immensely frustrating for their teachers and I can't help thinking that I spend more time worrying about other people's children's education than my own. I know I should be encouraging DS2 to have friends round and join clubs and that I should be harder on ds1 with homework, but after a week at work I just want to potter around with them playing Lego, watching TV and doing fun stuff.

You mustn't be SLT then, because they do have time.

I'm sure you'd hate me as a governor, but look at the responsibilities, we have to make sure the school is working, which means we have to challenge.

We also support, but I'm not hearing much support of the kids from the teachers on here....

Nobody's going to come in during the holidays or long after school for recruitment or disciplinaries, though. Those are part of school life so should take place during directed time (which may be immediately after school).

I'm not having a pity party mutton. Just pointing out the fact that a lot of teachers do a lot of unpaid hours to ensure their pupils receive the best they can give. That leads to parents feeling they aren't doing the best for their own children.
As for staff being unwilling to stay out of hours that's a matter for your school to deal with. I know the teachers where I work are often at meetings and sports fixtures after 4pm. I work later than my allocated hours to ensure everything is done.

And don't wait for an excuse to leave. If you dislike it that much just give your notice.

You do get that after 4pm is way before most people leave work.

Jobs tend to be 9-5, so give people until 6 to get to school and run meetings from then.

Unfortunately the school need me because they need a commercial outlook on what's happening.

None of the teachers would appreciate it but I care about the community.

Wow...I'm not sure how this turned into yet another teacher bashing thread, in a topic called 'The Staffroom' with a thread title directed specifically at teachers. Do you stalk teacher threads specifically to be smug and superior and point out how lazy and useless we all are muttoncadet?

Thanks for all the other responses. I wasn't on mumsnet last night because I was preparing for our church schools inspection on Monday. Dh is taking the Dcs swimming this morning so I can do a couple of hours then I'm determined to have a weekend. The pressure and workload since I returned from maternity leave has increased massively so the time and energy I have for my own boys has decreased and something's got to give.

I think we have to ignore the awful mutton, and hope that the majority of governors do not view teachers with the disdain s/he does.

I was babysitting for a friend last night so managed 4 hours of planning for next week. Was better than being in my own house as I'd have been wanting to do chores or just relax. I feel better having the bulk of it out the way.

Unfortunately, the DC are ill with D&V and I've spent more time worrying about what will happen in Monday if they're still poorly or if I've got it, than I have about taking care of them.

Hope the DCs are better soon asleep. You're right, best to ignore.

Don't worry about muttoncadet, she sounds like one of those awful people who need to be convinced she is "needed" - in truth she clearly isn't, but just has constructed a fantasy around herself to confirm her addiction - I have been a governor, and have worked as a volunteer in many places. Unfortunately, voluntary work does attract those who need to be able to act out little power games that no one will allow them to do out in the big wide world!

you can and have to cope with and work round these tiny little hitler people, but what concerns me more than her personality is that she is in a position of some minor influence in a school, and yet is clearly totally and utterly ignorant about teaching and education. Obviously has no idea what is going on in her own school at all.

But back to your original question, no it is not possible to be a good teacher and a good mother. Both take up too much time, between the it comes to more time than actually exists, it is as simple as that.

I gave up teaching so I was able to support my teenagers through the crucial GCSE stage, but now wish I had given it up and joined the private sector 10 years earlier. the quality of family life is 10 times better

I'm fortunate to be able to work part time and, in fact, to consider stopping altogether for a while and retraining/ re-specialising while the DC are still small.

I do worry desperately for the future of the profession though and, as I do obviously care about children, the impact that this is all going to have on education in general.

As for 'creating an efficient workforce' or whatever nonsense that was up there, I've never once held the belief that this is my purpose as a teacher.

We don't have or need Governors in Scotland. It's great ?

We don't come in for meetings in the holidays or after 5 pm. either, because we've already done a full day in a job where we don't have the luxury during the day of 'down-time' or being able to chat with colleagues, have a coffee/pee when we want or not have to interact.

My husband is private sector. He comes home having done his hours and is then in 'relax' mode. I've still got work to do that I can't do during the day because I'm teaching.

Mutton appears to be an idiot who doesn't understand directed time. Teachers are required to be available for work 195 days of the year so no, you can't schedule meetings on random days they aren't paid for. Just like in normal jobs you don't get people saying 'let's have that meeting on a Sunday'. You can require staff to attend meetings after school, but they have to be part of the 1265 hours directed time that they are being paid for.

I'd expect a governor to know that.

I am not a teacher. Both my DCs are in primary school, one in KS1 and one in KS2. I see how hard their teachers work and the hours that they put in, it's crazy. I also work full time and have what I consider to be a demanding job with tight deadlines but I am lucky to be able to work from home a lot so I can flex my hours. It means I am around for all the school stuff like assemblies and random 'have the parents in for something' days. I have been on lots of school trips and there is one day a week when parents can go in and have lunch with their DCs. Last year DS's birthday happened to fall on the lunch day which meant I was able to have lunch with him. I heard his teacher tell him how lucky he was to be able to have his mum have lunch with him on his birthday and how he would never be able to do that with his son. I see how done-in they all look by the end of term.

Where are these schools where the teachers go home at 4pm? Every time I have been at school for an evening thing, picking up after after school club or going to a social thing the teachers are always there till some ridiculous hour. My neighbour is a secondary school teacher and I see her leaving for work at 7:30 and coming home at 9 some nights looking exhausted. And I know she works again after her own DCs are in bed. And these aren't NQTs, they are teachers with years of experience behind them.

I for one am very grateful to have teachers in the classroom who are also parents, who bring with them that extra level of understanding of small people's idiosyncrasies. Hats off to you all!

Thank you Guitargirl.

I've missed countless workshops etc that my DS's have had because I am at work. They are very mature about it and now I'm extremely lucky to be working at their school so have not missed any assemblies this year. Still can't do some of it though because I am in other classes.

Yes, definitely the way to do it, work in the same school as your child if you can. I've done it all the way through primary, have hardly missed any special events, and needed very little childcare as child enjoys playing with all my stuff in school/can do homework/go on computer etc. Used after - school club a few times a week so I could work until 6, took work home other nights. Very tiring but generally love my job.

Thanks guitargirl!
frecklefeatures that's interesting. How do you and your Dcs find it being in the same school? I've often wondered but would hate it to be awkward either for the boys or myself.

My two just go to wrap so I can attend staff meeting and like frecklefeatures said it is very tiring but having the boys on site means it's less fuss after and before school with having to get them too.

Have never had any issues with bullying etc. I get extra hugs if we pass in the corridor, it's nice for the other kids to see a positive relationship. Handy if they're a bit under the weather as I can keep an eye out/give calpol. It's been great! Only downside is it's tricky having playdates - I'm not out there in the playground & am wary of having any children round unless I know their parents outside school.

Yes, every day .

I have to take time of work because no teacher is willing to remain in school after 4pm sounds like good-will has died a death in this school. Much of teaching relies on teachers giving beyond their hours to bring on students - but we don't HAVE to. Once a school pushes too far, teachers stop the things they once did. Treat the workforce better, give them more trust and autonomy and you find that teachers start to love their jobs again and want to do more than their contracted hours (above the planning and marking that already saps their personal time). You can't make them work, but you can make them want to. This is the thing that so many SLT are forgetting.

Micromanagement seems to be the order of the day - directing every minute of contracted time. As a result, teachers do not feel like giving any more; they already give plenty of additional time to planning, marking and simply doing their day-to-day job. If you fill it up even further with pointless meetings and inane improvement tasks, you kill good-will and find nobody volunteers for anything anymore. It's what happened in the 'Outstanding' school I worked in. Clubs and trips died a death. Nobody would remain in work a minute more than they needed to. School directed and managed everything and trusted no-one, so teachers reacted accordingly and stopped bothering.