does having children make a big difference?

[Wellthen]

I and quite a few of my close colleagues don't have children. Mostly I have never had negative comments but occasionally I am surprised at the things other staff say or do and wonder if its because of a difference inpersonality or because they have children and I dont.

Teachers and tas who have had kids - did you feel very different? Did you respond to the children in your class differently? Or to the parents? Obviously some of the practical stuff like 'how will the parents react to this homework or letter?' is harder for me to imagine. But it upsets me to think that some staff/parents think that I don't 'get it' because I dont have my own.

I am very excited about having children and consider myself very maternal. I suppose, like anyone, it annoys me slightly to be told that my views and behaviour will change.

I'm not sure, as I had DS at 17 so have only ever taught as a mother... But I wouldn't listen to them. Sounds like a load of nonsense IMO. Wonder if they'd say the same to male teachers.

No I don't think it does. I have worked (in Reception) with parent teachers and TAs and non-parent teachers and TAs and did not notice any great divide in attitudes.

Having children has certainly given me more empathy (actually sympathy) for parents!! I think teachers without children often judge parents of their pupils a bit harshly...

I feel the same as Freddo. Having children msde me much more sympathetic towards parents and children and helped me understand things from their point of view. Also it helped me get a bit of distance from staffroom politics and school issues because my main focus in life had shifted.

Having children made me see things completely differently, made me realise parents are not always to blame, nobody's perfect and in the main, most parents are doing the best job they can given circumstances. Then having children diagnosed with SEN- wow, this made me see things in a whole new light again.
Being a teacher, I don't want to criticise the profession but please please please listen to parents -they do, despite what you may think, know their children best.
This is not to say you can't be a good teacher without being a parent but I do definitely think it makes you a different teacher.

I'm less judgemental now I'm a parent and know how hard it is to raise a child.
Also my job is just a job. I like teaching but it's a relatively small part of my life now. This has given me a more balanced world view, I feel.

Agree with the comments so far. I have a lot more empathy with the pupils and their parents, whereas my younger colleagues often complain about 'picky' parents and find their questions and phone calls irritating. I think that I've genuinely understood the meaning of every child matters now that I've got my own - every child I teach is someone's baby, and I remind myself of that constantly. A different teacher, definitely - not necessarily better.

Yes having children made me a completely different - and in my opinion better - teacher. However, I'm sure there are some amazing teachers without kids - I can only speak for myself.

In some ways, I had more empathy for parents, after having dc, but in others, I became more incredulous that children could get to school not knowing any nursery rhymes, or what to do with a simple story or picture book, or not being able to hold a knife and fork. Prior to having dc I wondered if there was some valid reason that I didn't know about. After having my own dc, it just became more and more unbelievable.

I echo MsFiremaSam's comments about every child matters. I also constantly think about the point of view of it being someone's baby.

But now and then make unfair comparisons in my head ('If my 4 year old can comply and follow a simple instruction/put her hand up, then why can't you at the age of 13...) I know it's wrong though!

An interesting question OP.

It makes me think of this recent topic. (which sort of ties in with this one)
Nearly ALL the mothers say that the young nannies (without children obviously) have been better at caring for their children than older ones.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2180474-Would-you-hire-a-20yo-nanny?

What I'm trying to say is that you don't have to have children yourself to be good with them.

I agree that having children makes you understand better the parents' point of view but I have worked with parent teachers who have been quite harsh and judgemental at times about parents and others without children who have been very open-minded.

I became a teacher after having children but being a parent was very influential on my teaching. was always driven by the question, would this be good enough for my child.