Is it time to jump? Or am I having some kind of mid career crisis?

[Finola1step]

Well here goes. The big decision has crept up on me. Do I make a break for it?

A bit of background. Qualified mid 90's. Have taught ever since in primary schools in inner city. Have been at my current school and been SLT for well over 10 years. Lovely school, good kids, great staff, just had an Ofsted. So what's the problem? I'm done. Really and truly done. Had a tricky Ofsted a while back. I promised the Head I would stay and help her get the school back on track for the next one. That job has been done.

The relentless pursuit of targets and progress measures has sapped all the energy out of me. I have a long commute and young dc. As they get older, I want to be at home more, not less.

I have no desire to go for a headship. I don't want to go to another school. I'm not being bullied or harassed. I am constantly ill and have had a very nasty illness recently. This is having a huge impact on my family life and dare I say it, my marraige.

I'm nearly 40. If I carry on, I think something serious will happen with my health before I'm 50. I'm still young enough to change directions, aren't I? My DH supports me in wanting to leave. The only thing that excites me professionally is setting up my own business as a self employed private tutor. Of course it's still target driven but to have the opportunity to work for myself would be wonderful. I live in an affluent town that us home to the 11+.

So what's holding me back? Fear, plain and simple. Fear that both DH and I would both be self employed. Fear that it could all backfire.

So if you have got to the end if this mammoth post, I salute you. And ask you your thoughts. Am I mad? Should I stick it out for the solid salary? Any thoughts would be most welcome.

Oh and I am not name changing as I have nowt to hide but if you recognise me, keep schtum please.

[Finola1step]

Yes Branching in some ways I would like to finish at the end of the summer term. But DH has a break in contracts from mid Oct to beginning of Jan. With no money coming in as he is free lance. He will be able to pick up bits of work here and there, but not much really. I don't think my stress levels could cope if we were both free lance / supply at this point. His new contract will be for 18 months, plenty of time for me to get myself sorted and earning a reasonable wage.

So me staying until Xmas makes good sense. Salary to tide us over and I would quite like another Xmas at work before I leave. The summer just feels too soon.