Just been signed off for two weeks - work related stress. Now what?

[TawdryTatou]

Mortified, guilty, scared

Feel like a failure.

I'm not a teacher myself but understand it's an extremely stressful job.

Don't waste your time feeling mortified or guilty.

It would be useful to give more information, tbh, but in the meantime, try not to panic (although I realise that's easier said than done.)

I hope the following might help..I'm no expert, and these are just ideas off the top of my head.

Try to do some research to help you come up with techniques and tools to help you deal with the stress when you go back, so that you go back better able to deal with the stressful situations you will undoubtedly face again.

Try to keep to a routine, e.g. get up at a decent time (no choice if you've got DCs,) got for a walk everyday, eat well and also set time aside to relax.

It's very tough going back to work even after a small period of being off sick, so use these two weeks to build up your sense of well being.

Do you have colleagues who are your friends out of work? If so, try and make contact with them during the two weeks - maybe phone them this evening, this will make it seem less daunting when you go back, I think.

Good luck.

There'll be countless of teachers on here who have been through this and who will understand how you are feeling.

Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself.

That's such good advice - thank you.

I think I have to face the fact that it's time for a career change.

I actually went to the gp with a bad back, mentioned that I thought it might be stress related, and ended up pouring my heart out to him.

Thing is, I feel stressed at the thought of being off. What am I expected to do at home? Do I have to provide two weeks worth of cover lessons? If so, it feels like it would be easier to be at work.

This is a nightmare.

If you are off with work-related stress, then you don't provide cover lessons as that will make the illness worse, it's counter-productive.
Have you asked about counselling through the GP? or the LEA mental health team, sadly they have a huge amount of experience with teachers who have started to buckle under the strain.
Mortified and guilty are familiar emotions, but they won't help you put your life back together, and they are part of the stress/depression.
It's OK to be ill. You have nothing to be ashamed of.

You're off with stress. That means you have to de-stress. So forget about work. The more you worry about work the more stressed you'll feel. The doctor has given you 2 weeks but you might need more. It all depends on whether you feel ready at the end of the fortnight.

I was at my dad's birthday party on Saturday night.

My HOD knows this. She'll be thinking I'm malingering.

The pictures on FB don't show that I spent all Friday evening crying and saying I didn't want to go to my dad's celebration, or that I got no sleep at all on Friday night, or that I didn't get dressed or clean my teeth yesterday.

She'll think I'm a fraud. Maybe I am

How you are feeling right now is part of the illness.
You lack perspective, judgement and control, and it's a terrifying place to be.

It doesn't matter what she thinks. You have a sick note. Probably the best thing you could do is go on a nice relaxing holiday. It's very important that you learn how to deal with the stress long term, otherwise you could end up having more time off over the year, which would be more disruptive than a big chunk now while you sort everything out in your head.

You're all very kind.

I need to email her now to put her in the picture.

What on earth do I say?

You mustn't feel a fraud, or that you're milking it, though I understand these are natural emotions for a conscientious person to feel in this situation.

Your health is more important than any job.

Not sure what to say in the e-mail, sorry.

I suppose I just state the facts.

Go to Tge library & get some books out on dealing with stress
You can read them while you're off
Go for long walks, lots of fresh air & healthy eating
Think of anything that would help you when you go back to work so you can talk to your HOD at your return to work interview
The email only nerds to say you've been signed off by your gp for stress for 2 weeks

I feel like I'm letting so many people down. My poor year 11s, particularly.

But I'm letting my family down if I keep at this. I'm just not myself.

I've had four emails today asking for direction re : lessons from my HoD.

Is this normal?

Feel like crying.

No it's not normal. You have been signed off.
The most they should be asking is just WHAT you're covering or where you're up to in the syllabus so they know what to cover. Other than that there should be zero communication.

Your hod should only need to know where you are up to in the scheme of work, then they can plan accordingly. You don't need to plan whilst you're signed off with stress.

Lots of good advice on here. I've been there, survived, started again and ended up leaving 3 years later. If you can, use this time to think about what to do next and start planning. Good luck!

Thank you to all who have been so kind.

I'm kind of shocked that my HoD was emailing me about work at 9pm last night. I'm worried that there'll be no let up.

DP says not to reply, but I'd find returning even harder if I took that approach.

I'm starting to understand why I ended up this way...

I've been in your situation and can sympathise. I realised that in my case it was the pressure my HoD was putting me under that was the issue - not the kids, not the teaching of marking, but her. I felt like I was walking on eggshells the whole time and not getting any support which is extremely tiring and stressful.

Can you pinpoint what the problem is? Imagine yourself at a different school - do you still feel the same stress? Schools can be dramatically different to work in and a change can be the difference between staying in the profession and wanting to leave.

You may still decide it's still not for you, but that doesn't mean you're a failure. I came out of it - I may go back but I needed to get out of that situation. I've realised since then that my HoD was actually bullying me - I just couldn't see it.

They shouldn't be emailing you four times. If it would make you feel better, send him / her a summary of where your classes are at and then say you won't be checking emails according to doctor's orders. It's up to the school to sort the rest - I stupidly set cover for all mine which was a big mistake as it stressed me out even more.

PM me if you want any more info or support from someone who's been there

My HoD is a lovely person but a workaholic who expects the same from her team. I'm a yes-woman, so of course I get a lot of stuff dumped on me to do. I'm pretty much in the role of second, but without renumeration. That hasn't helped.

I'm also a returner. This is my second school since returning after twelve years out. I was happy in my first job, but this place is newly out of special measures and we'e had the threat of Ofsted held over us since I got there.

Add to that the fact that I've been observed 11 times since I got there, getting RI every time - which actually is not borne out by my results, and my confidence is shot.

Behaviour is appalling too.

I'm so miserable.

I am in a similar situation in terms of my working environment. Since starting my school, I feel as though nothing I do is ever good enough. The SMT are like the gestapo, instilling fear and bullying tactics in order to show how amazing they are and how quickly they get the school out of special measures.

In all my years of teaching, I have honestly never come across such an appalling place to work.

I have spent most evenings in tears, trying to work and regularly drive to school crying. That knot feeling in my stomach is a regular feature in my life.

However, I came to the conclusion that there is no point putting myself through this any longer. My family are suffering and so is my health. I resigned at Christmas.

Please consider getting out of your dire situation. Life is too short to be so unhappy. Your confidence has been knocked but I'm sure you are a great teacher. The expectations are so high it makes you feel c**p!

You must act now before you have a total break down. Then you will be no use to anyone. Use the next two weeks to de stress and think about your future options. Don't be afraid to take more time if you need it.

Finally, it is illegal to be contacting you whilst you are off with work related stress. It might be worth stating that if they do thus again, you will be contacting your union.

Good luck. PM me if you want to chat further. Xx

WRS is serious. You need time off to get well. Your health is more important. Be kind to yourself and don't go back until you're ready. Ask about phased return or a temporary reduction in workload if you feel you need it or if your GP advises.

It sounds like you need a new school. If you were a bad teacher you wouldn't care about your yr11s or your observations (and 11 times is ridiculous). I wish SMTs would realise that driving teachers into the ground does not drive up standards!!

Did you reply to her OP? I'd send one email giving a brief overview of what pupils have been working on (one or two lines per class) and explaining that you are signed off for stress, are unable to set cover and do not want to be contacted again until you are well enough to return.

I'm a HOD and I'll be honest, i'd find it hard to set two weeks of cover for any of my colleagues, but nowhere near as hard as I'd find it to find a new teacher I trust or to deal with a succession of supply teachers.

Ignore the emails. Get yourself better. That's the most important thing for you and the school.

First thing is massive hugs.
Second thing DO NOT check your work e-nails for at least the next 10 days!
Go running/swimming/ archery, what ever spirt you enjoy.
Get out side and get some fresh air (30min of natural day light can help cut stress levels by half, and reduce your chance of getting SAD).
Teacher support network can also be really useful, I felt like I had failed the first time I phoned them but they were lovely and gave me better advice than the union.
Have you thought about a different key stage or private as you do seem to care about the kids.
Also maybe put you hod on a limited profile on Facebook.

Step away from the emails!
You must take care of yourself. I have yet to find the strength to admit I haven't slept in months, my stomach is in knots about work tomorrow, I cried at work yesterday. I have to leave teaching don't I? I love the teaching but I can't stand the constant pressure to do more in less time, to get ever better results (regardless of what students are capable of) and complete lack of effective management.
Sorry to hijack your thread!

Absolutely stop email guilt! Wow they need to realise you are off for a reason.

State that you will be available to respond to emails from xyz date!

I left a teaching job many years ago and got my life ack. Never happier. Hope you look after yourself.

Ps I hate Facebook. Maybe close the account for a while. Too invasive.