Help - not coping

[ninah]

In my first year of teaching, in a RI school. Everyone's stressed, we are having an inspection a week. So far I've kept going but I have reached my limit, I am tired all the time, all I want to do is sleep and sleep, my skin's dreadful, and worst of all my self belief has vanished. Next time I am seen there is no way I can be good. What on earth can I do? Not even sure I want to teach any more. Part of me wants never to go back in there. Is it worth it, dragging myself in for the inevitable pasting? Don't know what to do.

Have you got a mentor you can speak to? Other NQTs in the school who you can chat with/commiserate with etc? A helpful HOD? Can you do any team planning to help with the workload or sharing good practice and ideas with anyone? You could prepare lessons 24 hrs a day and still find more you could do..dont fall in that trap..get enough sleep (dont work late into the night so your sleep is restful), eat well and fit in some time to relax, it is the only way to get through and you will be a more effective teacher if rested. It is incredibly tough that NQT year esp. in the current climate so dont make any rash decisions yet. What do you teach?..just trying to see if I or anyone else can give more specific advice? My main advice...talk to someone about it! Good luck and I hope things feet better soon!

sorry, not NQT, I meant first year post NQT! so no, no mentor. Is v v small school with v big stress! I'd love to share ideas, there's not a culture of sharing, though, more kind of dog eat dog! but thanks for the sympathy, I will try and get some rest, next up HMI (again). I have talked to HT but he's more exasperated than sympathetic and I can't say I blame him, I am generally reliable and it's a BAD time to crack!

actually cuggles thanks just having someone listen helped

Sorry, not sure what a RI school is, but sending loads of sympathy. Teaching can be stressful at the best of times, and this sounds as if your school is not in the best place at the moment. Agreeing with the poster above to look after yourself. You are the main resource in the room, pamper yourself, so that you have more to give the class

What subjects do you teach? How are the kids coping with the stressful situation? Can you get outside of your feelings (real and scary as they are) and find a way of praising them for stuff? Sometimes in a classroom, like a family situation we find that everyone gets stressed and in a negative cycle and that somehow breaking the stress and moving into a praise culture (or failing that, a laughter culture) can help us all to move forward together.

No problem. With regards your HT, if a generally reliable teacher feels they are on the edge of cracking he needs to look at why and his/governors etc role in it so it is very much his problem! What about the LEA (if you are part of one?)..are there any resources/support you could access there? Do you have friends from your university course in similar boat? One thing I found many moons ago when I began teaching was that when I felt I couldnt do it and was really struggling with a particular class (secondary) my HOD suggesed I get out and wander the school in my PPA time so I could see it wasn't me not coping but a difficult situation all round. Might apply to you? - did boost my confidence in myself if nothing else. Hope you find Christmas comes soon enough!

RI = requires improvement
am Reception, no probs with kids or teaching, that's all OK, it's hoop jumping, muddled leadership and issues with support staff
also in a tricky job share - I'm only part-time but I can't stop stressing on my days off, plus continually being asked in for meetings to sort out said issues. All in all, I'm losing confidence. I know it's not just me not coping, though. In fact I have been putting a good face on until v recently ... we have staff on 'extra support' measures, inc capability, and member of SLT has just resigned with no job to go to. We keep being told this is normal and school's getting better. Maybe I'm so deep in I can't see wood for trees!
The weekly observations aren't helping, and the fact that we have to get good or else. It's a bit like a tightrope - you can only do it if you don't look down. And I have looked!

It's not getting better. HT is hardly speaking to me and discusses everything relevant to my class with my colleague or TAs. I want to go. Is it career suicide to hand my notice in now and try for supply in the summer term?

It does sound dreadful and I sympathise. I also want to and in my notice. Am coming up to the end my NQT year and really wish I could resign. Don't really know what to say but I tried supply and it didn't suit me at all. I'm also Reception and not happy with support staff. Weekly obs sound like a nightmare. I had obs today which was less than good and am gutted as I worked really hard on the whole thing. Feedback was from someone who doesn't know Early Years much.

saadia sorry to hear you are in a similar situation. When I was NQT my mentor had never taught lower than KS2 ...
oh dear, what to do ..
I seem to think we trained around the same time, I remember your threads? anyway, what a shame, all the enthusiasm and now this.
What did you dislike about supply, if you don't mind me asking?

It does help to talk to others luckily. I just didn't like the uncertainty of supply and the feeling of being the new person every day but having said that I do feel more confident than I did last year so might work out better if I went back to it.

I know, looking back everything seemed so straightforward. I knew it would be hard work but totally underestimated all the hoop-jumping and pettiness. Do hope things improve for you.

thanks, same for you.
Big resignation fantasies here. I quite fancy being the new person every day!